Walking Corpse
by DrownedNokk
Summary: Elsa is a lone girl with a dark past. Things starts to change when her brother, her only friend, brings a new girl, Anna, into her life. Elsa and Anna both feel this strange bond connecting them. What is it and is it enough to break down Elsa's icy walls? Not romantic Elsanna. Ch. 1-7 are just a pre-story that you can skip. Warning: past child abuse that might be triggering.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** A new story! I came up with this plot again when I was almost asleep. I didn't think I'd write it, but then its scenes didn't stop plaguing my head while I had to do other stuff, so here we are. Struggling Elsa is just something I cannot get over with.

**Disclaimer **I don't own these characters :(

* * *

Heavy rain drumming against her arms and head started pulling Elsa back to consciousness. Her head felt foggy and her ears were buzzling. Her whole body was screaming from pain, all of her muscles felt sore. Elsa ignored the throbbing pain in her head while she lifted it to look at her surroundings. She was in deformed car, laying on the dashboard. The windshield was completely shattered and that's why rain was hitting her. With pained sigh, she forced her body to retrieve back to the seat.

Once she was sitting, it was easier for her to see the whole picture. There was a tree smashed into the driver's side of the car. That side of the car was crushed like a tin can, and the person sitting on the driver's seat was all covered in blood. His limbs were in strange positions, and she could see some bone poking out of the knee. Elsa could hardy make out the features of that person. He was short and skinny, with graying hair and big nose- _oh wait, Elsa knew these features._ Dread started to build up in her stomach while she gathered all of her courage to call out for him.

"Sir?" nothing.

"Sir?" nothing.

"Sir? Please," nothing.

And then finally, with tiny, defeated voice and hesitant touch on a broken arm: "Father?" still no answer.

Elsa had seen dead people before and she knew that there was one right beside herself now. There was no way that her father would be opening his eyes ever again. The memories from what happened before the crash started flooding into her mind. She remembered the fight and the man shooting her father to his stomach, her father hurling her into the car and starting driving while there were people shooting at them. She remembered praying him to drive slower in her mind, she didn't dare to say anything aloud though. She remembered her father starting to lose his focus because of the blood loss and then she remembered the crash.

Elsa was shaking now. What should she do? _What should she do? _She couldn't stay there, someone would eventually find them and she didn't want to go back. Elsa didn't have anyone left to take care of her. Without her father in charge, what would they do to her? It would be even worse than it already had been, she was sure of it. No, she had to go. This was her ticked to the freedom. Elsa tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. Panic started to spread through her body. _She had to get out! _Then she remembered the broken windshield. She would have smacked herself on the forehead if she wasn't in so much pain already. Then Elsa proceeded climbing out of the car through broken window.

She got out and landed ungracefully on the wet grass. She groaned in pain and rolled onto her back. She felt so tired, but she knew she had to get up. Elsa forced her sore body up. Once standing, she had to lean against the hood of the car to avoid falling back to the ground from the dizziness. When she gained the control of her body back, she peered back into the car, making sure there was nothing left from her. If the authorities wouldn't know that she was in that car, it would buy her more time to escape. Elsa casted one last look at her father and considered if she should take his wallet, but she didn't dare. She was too afraid of him, even if he was dead. Deciding to leave the money, she started limping into the forest as fast as she could. Elsa had to push through the pain, grinding her teeth and just go faster until she was somehow running.

* * *

Elsa kept running until she was completely out of breath, and her legs didn't carry her anymore, and her shoes had dig themselves into her heels. She leaned against a tree while sitting, and kicked her shoes off. The rain was still pouring on her and her oversized hoodie was so soaked that she barely had enough strength to carry it on her anymore. The forest was gloomy and the night was quite cool, despite it being midsummer. Elsa felt exhausted, but she knew that she would have to find some place to sleep and dry up a little. She mustered up all the strength she had left and got up. Wet moss was soaking her socks, but she didn't care. She started walking forward, even though she didn't have any adrenalin to manage the pain anymore.

Elsa was barely conscious when she finally came to the bottom of the cliff. There was small crack between the rock and the ground where she could crawl to sleep. The rain had subsided to drizzle, but it was still quite uncomfortable, and Elsa was shaking and shivering from the cold. However, she ignored it and started to cut branches from a spruce to get even some insulation between her and the earth which was radiating cold. When she was done making her tiny nest, she lifted her wet hoodie over her head and squeezed as much of water out of it as she possibly could, then she did the same for all of her clothes. When she was ready, she was wearing damp tank top, dark cray skirt and knee length socks. Elsa crawled into the crack and laid on the prickly sprigs. She curled under her hoodie and let the sleep take over. Some water was dripping onto her from the rocky roof she had, but she was just too tired to care anymore. Soon the blackness swallowed her and she was sucked into a dreamless slumber.

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**A/N **I don't know why my first chapters always seem to be so short, but I'll try to write longer ones in the future. I hope you liked this. Please, leave your thoughts to the comment section.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **Thank you for your comments, I hope you will stay interessed. And this isn't a rewritten Frozen 1 plotline, nor Frozen 2 in that matter. I try to include themes from the movies and I do my best with keeping the characters and their personalities as close to their original ones as I can, but the plot has little to do with the movies, as you can probably already see in this chapter.

* * *

"Kristoff!" a shriek woke Kristoff from his nice dream.

"What are you still doing here? You should be in school already. It's nine o'clock!" Kristoff's mother, Bulda, was scolding him.

"What? Nine?" He asked, confused and still dazed from his sleep. But when he turned around, he was blinded by the sunlight peering through the crack between his curtains.

"Dang it, I've missed the second bus too, haven't I? Can dad take me to school, or you?" Kristoff asked while trying to get his jeans on in a rush.

"Oh no, honey. Your dad has already taken the car and left for a work. You'll have to bike. I can make you a sandwich or something, so you'll have enough energy for that," Bulda offered.

"No, no, it's fine. I have a chocolate bar in my backpack, I'll survive with it."

"Kristoff-" Bulda started with scolding voice. Probably about the chocolate bar, but Kristoff didn't have time for that now.

"Yes, yes, candy causes cavities. I know, mom, love ya, gotta go now!" And with that he rushed out of the room and out of the house, to his bike.

* * *

Kristoff was biking like crazy when suddenly his pedals didn't give any resistance anymore. _Chains, damn!_ He stopped the bike and took a look. _Yap, definitely chains. _They weren't only dislocated, which happened fairly often, but broken, snapped in half. _Great_, he still had over a kilometer to the school and he was already too late, he would definitely get scolded big time for this. And on top of everything, he would have to go to buy new chains if he didn't fancy walking over ten kilometers to get home.

Kristoff was pushing his bike when he passed the train station and saw some movement on the corner of his eye. He turned to see what was that, and barely caught a sight of someone hiding behind a green recycling bin. _That's weird._ Only one train passed that station and it wasn't until night. The building sold tickets, but he knew that it wasn't open at that time, and what kind of worker would hide behind a recycling bin anyway. It was a small town, and there rarely were any visitors, Kristoff knew almost everyone there. Maybe it was just some of his friends playing a prank. He was too curious to keep his journey to the school before seeing who was hiding there. And he was late anyway, so it didn't even matter.

Kristoff laid his bike down and moved to his left to see behind the bin. He saw a peak of young blond, white as a snowflake, curled in a small ball. She had blue hoodie, way too big for her, dirty and matted platinum blonde hair in a braid, and her bony knees were covered only with scratches and bruises. She couldn't be much older or younger than Kristoff himself, but the poor thing looked absolutely terrified. He had never seen her before.

"Hey! Who are you?" Kristoff tried, but the girl only tried to hide deeper into the corner.

"I won't hurt you, I promise." The girl still didn't answer.

Kristoff had to try something else. Approaching her would only scare her more, so that wasn't an option. Then he got an idea. He started rummaging through his backpack, until his hand found the chocolate bar. The girl was so skinny, that she ought to be starving. So Kristoff decided to try a different tactic on her: "Wow, I have a chocolate bar here. I can't possibly eat it all by myself. Don't you want some?" Okay, that sounded kind of stupid, but Kristoff's best friend was a dog, so it wasn't his fault he didn't know how to talk to people.

Deciding it was good enough, Kristoff walked towards the opposite side of the recycling bin that the girl was hiding behind, and sat down on the dusty ground. He leaned against the bin and snapped a piece of chocolate for himself. Soon enough he heard soft footsteps coming towards him. The girl didn't have shoes, only dirty socks, half-way on her shins, and her toes poking out a little from the left one. He looked up and saw the girl hesitantly move to sit next to him, eyeing him and the chocolate bar. When her butt had barely touched the ground, Kristoff offered her the bar. She hesitantly lifted her hand towards it, but stopped just before taking a piece. She looked at him, like trying to find out if he was just trying to trick her somehow. Kristoff just smiled warmly and encouraged her, even though he felt a little grossed out when he saw how filthy her hands were. The girl seemed to find her courage from that anyway, and took a piece. They sat in quite comfortable silence for a while, just eating the chocolate bar away. But when the bar was nearing its end, Kristoff couldn't hold his itch to know more about this girl anymore. Which was strange, usually he much preferred his dog's companion to his peers'.

"So, you're not from here, right? I've never seen you before. Have you moved here or something?" The girl flinched a little when he started talking.

"Or something", she muttered quietly, but kept her eyes firmly on the ground before her.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be pushy, but this is a small town, we all know everyone here and I'd like to know you, too."

That seemed to alert the girl: "You can't tell anyone about me! Promise me that you won't tell anyone about me, please! I don't wanna go back."

"Calm down, I won't say anything, I promise. But can you tell me why you're hiding behind a recycling bin at the train station at this time of a day?"

"I'm hoping to sneak in the train and go somewhere, I don't know when the train passes here and I have nowhere else to go anyway", the girl confessed.

"Sneak in? Isn't that kind of hard, what if you get caught? Don't you have money for a ticket? Where are you even trying to go? Where's your home?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything, okay? I don't have money or home, I just go where my feet take me."

"Wow, that sounds so cool!"

"It does?"

"I wish I could just travel where ever with my dog Axel, he's my best friend, and I didn't have to go to stupid school to learn stupid stuff."

"I wish I could go to school. I like school, and learning, and reading, and studying. And I wish I had a best friend, too. It's so lonely to travel all the time."

"I could be your best friend! I could bring you books and we could study together! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"It does, but I don't know. I don't think I should stay here, what if someone finds me?"

"I know an abandoned house nearby, you could live there. No one would find you there, and I could come to visit you after school every day! If you don't know where you're going, why would there be any better than here? Getting in a train without a ticket is really hard anyway, you could easily get caught there."

"You have a point. I could live in that house, it would be nice to have a friend and study. I miss school."

"You miss school? Weirdo. But c'mon, I'll take you to the house!"

"Wait! Do we have to walk there? On a road? What if someone sees me?"

"At this hour? Everyone is at school or work, no one is just walking around here, trust me."

The girl got up, but paused for a moment and seemed to think a little before asking: "Shouldn't you be in school then?"

"Yeah, but I overslept. Now it seems like I'm not going at all, it's fine." Kristoff lifted his bike up and saw the water bottle on the trunk of it. "Are you thirsty? I have some water."

The girl just nodded eagerly and Kristoff gave her the bottle. She chucked it all like she had just survived a year in desert without any water. When the girl was finishing his water, Kristoff remembered that he hadn't properly introduced himself. His mother would have slapped the back of his head from such a rudeness. But to be fair, Kristoff had never been really good with people, his only friend was a dog, and now possibly a travelling snowflake girl.

"Uh, my name is Kristoff, by the way. Can I know your name, too, now that we are friends and everything?"

"I'm Elsa," the girl, Elsa, chuckled softly.

What was Kristoff supposed to say then_? _Should he compliment her name, isn't that what you are supposed to do when girl tells her name. Kristoff wasn't that good with words, praising her name would feel really forced and awkward. Kristoff glanced Elsa nervously to see if she was patiently waiting for him to keep going, but she was just facing forward, looking content with the silence. Usually girls giggled at his awkwardness and the boys teased him about it, but not Elsa, she didn't seem to mind. The nervousness left Kristoff and comfortable silence fell on them while they were walking small forest trail towards the abandoned house.

* * *

Kristof had showed Elsa the place, and she had made herself a nice nest on the attic, where she felt was the safest place for her hide in. Kristoff had then left to buy new chains to his bike, but he had promised to come back after that. While waiting for him to come back, Elsa looked around the house. It was small, only one tiny bedroom, living room, kitchen, bathroom and a ladder to the attic. When she was sleeping, she could pull the ladder up, so nosy teenagers looking for a thrill wouldn't surprise her, or something even worse. There was also small window up there, and the attic weren't too high up to make it impossible from her to jump out of there if she had to. There weren't really any furniture, or electricity, or running water, and most of the windows were broken, and there were dust everywhere, but it was better than the places she had spent her nights in the past months. Now she even had a friend! Elsa had never had one. Though she felt a little nervous that he would rat her out nevertheless, but for some reason, she quite trusted him. He didn't feel like the boys in her school, who stole her things and dared each other to look under her skirt. And he certainly didn't feel like the men her father would introduce her to. But none of them mattered anymore, the past was in the past, her father was dead and she was far away from the place she used to call home.

Loud thud from the door in the kitchen startled her out of her thoughts. She could feel panic starting to grasp her into its tight hold when she was trying to find an escape route. Before she could fully change into her survival mode, she could hear Kristoff's happy voice calling for her name. Elsa hesitantly tiptoed towards the entrance of the kitchen, and peered in. Kristoff was there, his backpack on the aged counter, and looking for something in the pack. Then he pulled out one and half liter bottle of Singo, which was a soft drink flavored as lime and citron, and two sandwiches bagged in paper packs. Elsa felt like crying, she hadn't felt this happy in a long time. Elsa thanked Kristoff with all of her heart and he just smiled at her, little awkward from her praises. Then they ate and drank together. After surviving months with barely anything to eat, Elsa had forgotten how good food could taste and how hungry she truly was. She had already finished her sandwich when Kristoff was only half eaten his. He then offered her the half, but she refused. He kept insisting that he wasn't really that hungry, and Elsa couldn't resist herself anymore for the sake of being polite. She ate the rest of Kristoff's sandwich too with great appetite and gratitude.

After eating, they started looking at Kristoff's homework, or probably schoolwork that he was supposed to do at school that day. It was quite hard, Kristoff wasn't good at math, like at all, and Elsa hadn't been studying in what felt like forever. However, after she got a hang of it again, she was actually able to teach Kristoff too. They studied, and talked, and it was just so easy to be with him. He felt like he was the brother Elsa had never had. She told him about living in the forest, exaggerating of course, and he listened her in fascination. Then he told her about his adoptive parents and the children his parents fostered, about his dog Axel, and the house they had in the countryside. It all sounded like from a fairytale, she had never heard anything as lovely. They learned that they were both 12-years-old, Kristoff being a couple of months older, as he was born in March and Elsa in May. They both loved winter and especially ice, Elsa loved figure skating and Kristoff played ice hockey. They had so much fun together, that they didn't even notice the dusk creeping around them.

"Gah-lee! It's almost nine! Mom will kill me for not informing her about where I am. I gotta go! See you tomorrow, Elsa!" Kristoff panicked while packing his things into his backpack and rushed out from the house with a hurried wave for goodbye.

Elsa just sat there confused and watched her friend leaving. After the door was long shut and sounds of Kristoff biking away had subsided into silence, then Elsa breathed out a soft: "Bye."

* * *

**A/N **I just want to say that this isn't Kristelsa fic, they're just friends and they will be just friends. I don't want to lead shippers on with false promises. Anyway, I hope you liked this, I had fun writing it. I hope I'll be able to upload within a week.


	3. Chapter 3

Spending time with Elsa had become a routine for Kristoff. He would ride a bike instead of bus to school every day. His parents wondered why's that, but he just said he liked to explore the forests after a school, he was getting bored with the nearby ones. His parents were quite content with that, since biking was healthy and good exercise, even though him wandering in forests without Axel was quite strange. Every day he would leave a little early to bring Elsa some food he could take. Often it was leftovers from yesterday's dinner, which she could heat up with the Trangia he had brought there. The worst days, he could only give her a fruit or some other snack. He felt really bad when he wasn't able to provide her with a real meal, but she never complained, just thanked him for the little he gave. Some days he went straight home after school, but often he would stop to Elsa's to spend some actual time together. They would study together from Kristoff's school books, which usually ended up with Elsa studying and Kristoff reading comic books next to her. Then they would share Kristoff's meal which he brought from home or bought with his pocket money. No matter what they did, they always had fun together. It was so nice to have a friend, he had never known.

Weekends were special. Then Kristoff would take Axel with him to see Elsa. She absolutely adored the dog. They would run around the yard and pick some berries for Elsa to eat. As the fall creeped closer, they would also find some mushrooms nearby. Sometimes they went to fish at the lake. If they were lucky, they were able to eat some fish, well mostly Elsa was able to. Kristoff felt bad eating any more than she was insisting because he knew how little she got food. They had also swam in the lake when the days were still warm, but now it was getting a little too cold for them to do that anymore.

It was Saturday morning when Kristoff was packing his stuff in a hiking backpack. It was one of the nights he would say that he wanted to hike over night with Axel. In reality, he would have a sleepover with Elsa. He felt bad about lying, but the sleepovers were the best! They would tell each other scary stories and then all three of them would sleep tightly nestled together, since both of the youngsters were scared of every creak of the old house. Neither of them wouldn't admit of being scared, of course. Elsa would say that she wasn't afraid of anything after she had slept near a bear once, when she was still traveling. Kristoff wasn't sure he believed the story, but he was sure he didn't believe of her not being scared of anything. Kristoff had never met as nervous girl as Elsa was.

After he had packed all the gear he and Axel needed, and food for all three of them, he was ready to go to see his friend. He yelled a farewell to his parents and was ready to dash out of the door, but his mother stopped him.

"Kristoff, are you going to sleep in the forest again? Couldn't you stay home with us, the nights are getting cold."

"Mom, you know how important this is for me. I'm not cold, I have a sleeping bag."

"I would feel better if you were safe and sound in your own bed. Aren't you scared of the darkness and being all alone there?"

"I'm not alone! I have Axel with me, he'll keep me safe. I gotta go now, mom."

"I know, I know. Who could chain your free spirit? If sleeping in forest is the thing that makes you happy, then you must go. I love you so much, have fun." A tight hug and then stern look at the dog. "Remember to keep my baby boy safe, Axel."

"He will! Bye mom! Bye dad!" And with that, Kristoff left the house. The day of mid-September was cool but sunny, really beautiful day to bike.

* * *

When Kristoff and Axel arrived to the house, it was quiet and seemed empty, as always. Elsa didn't really do anything else than read the books he brought her on the attic when she was alone. She was so afraid of getting caught when he wasn't there to assure her that she would be fine. Kristoff walked in the house and yelled for Elsa to come down. But he didn't get an answer. He walked to the living room and saw that the ladder was up, so Elsa was there. He yelled again, but only got some incoherent mumbling for an answer. He waited for a moment and then decided to circle around the house and climb to the attic from the window.

He got up and saw Elsa sleeping on the nest she had made for herself. She had a blanket all way up to her head. It was the thick, fluffy blanket which for Kristoff had spent almost all of his saved pocket money. Elsa never complained about the cold, but Kristoff knew she ought to be freezing at nights, thus the blanket. She seemed to like it, but he wasn't used to seeing her sleeping at that time of a day. She had been sick for some time now, probably flu or something, making her more tired and less enthusiastic to do activities, but she never slept through his visits. Now Elsa didn't show any interest on getting up. Kristoff was worried that she was getting sicker. _Maybe the nights were too cold for her. And what about winter?_ _She couldn't survive winter there._ Kristoff had to find another solution. He positioned himself next to Elsa, which seemed finally wake her up. Then he stopped her from getting up, and they cuddled together. Kristoff started thinking about a possible solution for their problem.

They just laid in the silence, until Kristoff figured it out: "You'll have to move into my house."

"What? Are you crazy? I cannot just move into your house," Elsa cried out after Kristoff's words registered in her brain and pulled her out of her sleepy haze.

"Hear me out. You cannot stay here, it's too cold for you. I need you to get healthy again." Elsa tried to protest, but Kristoff cut her off. "No buts. You could live on our attic. I have a hiding place there that I sometimes use when I just want to read comics alone. It's not as warm as it is inside of the house, but it's still warmer than here. You would have to be more careful with the noises while there's people home, but I know for sure that you're quiet anyway. Also, you could use shower and warm up in the house when there's no one home, and it would be easier for me to bring you stuff. Doesn't that sound great?"

"I really don't know, Kristoff. That all sounds quite dangerous. What if your parents or siblings find me?"

"They won't. They haven't ever found me, they won't find you. I'll take you there at night and I'll visit you only when I'm sure that no one is following me. You will be fine, just say yes."

Elsa hesitated for a moment, considering her options. Then she whispered softly: "Yes." A warmer place to sleep in sounded so nice. She didn't want to admit it, but she was freezing. Also, she really wanted to have a warm shower, or even cold would do, she just wanted to be clean again.

"Great! Now, let's get downstairs to eat and play with Axel, he's probably getting antsy for being left out."

With that they started their day. Just hanging and playing card games. Nothing physical since Elsa was quite drained and shivered just from a thought of removing her blanked. They still had nice time together.

* * *

When the darkness of autumn night finally came, Kristoff and Elsa packed all of Elsa's possessions they could and started the journey. Elsa sat on the rack of the bike, while Kristoff pedaled them through the night, and Axel was trotting next to them. The load was quite heavy on the bike and Kristoff was sweating just after a kilometer. Elsa was quite light and skinny for a girl of her age, but her weight added with all of the gear's weight Kristoff had in his backpack, was a lot of extra weight for him.

Elsa wasn't comfortable either. She was freezing because of the cold air and the draught caused by the speed they were going. The naked flesh on her thighs was turning red and they were almost hurting from the cold. She also had cramping pain in her lower abdomen, which shot through her whole body whenever there were a little bigger bump on the road. She was used to the pain, she had had it quite some time now, but the pain had increased noticeably with the jolting of the bike. She was gripping the rack, with her knuckles white, to tolerate the pain, and she wished that the journey would be over soon. It wasn't though, and there was nothing she could do about it.

* * *

When they got to the yard, Elsa was awestruck. The house was beautiful, old farmhouse. Its lower storey was red and the upper one was yellow. The windows where white with flower pots under some of them. The milieu was absolutely lovely, and she felt like breathing in peace and happiness. Even though she hadn't lived uncomfortably before her escape, by any means, she had never really felt homely like she felt now. The houses she used to live in, always felt cold and scary. And her rooms were always more like prison cells for her, despite their generous sizes. For a moment Elsa felt bang of jealousy ran through her. Why couldn't she live in a house like this when Kristoff could? What would she give to have a loving family around her like he had, have siblings and a dog to play with? Why was life so unfair? She quickly shook the thoughts away and felt ashamed of herself._ Kristoff deserved all of this, he was such a kind spirited person who deserved all the good in his life. Elsa didn't deserve happiness like that, she wasn't pure like him_. Luckily, Kristoff's kindness let her to get nibs out of his life and she was too _greedy_ to refuse them.

Elsa followed Kristoff towards the back of the house. On their way, he picked up a wooden ladder. When they reached their destination, Kristoff quietly laid the ladder against the wall and climbed all way up to the attic window, opened it, crawled in, and motioned Elsa to follow him. Elsa did as she was told and climbed the ladder up, and then Kristoff helped her in. The attic was almost pitch black, but Kristoff seemed to know the way without light. They reached some kind of wall and Kristoff kneeled on the floor and started removing the lower planks. It seemed like an easy task and was over soon, then he crawled into the blackness behind the wall. Elsa was hesitant to follow, but Kristof peaked his head out of the hole and encouraged her to follow him, before disappearing again. When Elsa was almost all the way inside the darkness, something lighted the area. It was strange tube-ish lamp hanging from the roof. It didn't have any kind of cord, so it probably worked with batteries.

Now she could fully see the room she was in. The roof was low and sloped, she could sit her back straight only on the side that was higher, she couldn't stand up in either side. The room was really long, but from the wall she came in to the opposite wall, she could almost reach both sides just by sitting with her legs straight. The room reminded her of a tunnel. On her left was Kristoff and the place he was most likely talking about. On the floor was an old rag rug, covering the wood under it. Then there was a mattress, which had seen better days, but which would still be better than anything Elsa had slept on in a while. On the bed, was four pillows, but no blanket, luckily she had brought her own. The back wall was hidden behind some kind of sheet. It looked like there might be something soft between the wall and the sheet, for some kind of insulation maybe? Next to the bed was some kind of old, tiny bedside table with one compartment. There was tiny night lamp on it, but it wasn't on. On front of that table was a cardboard box packed with comics and maybe some other magazines too. There was also a beanbag at the end of the mattress, but that was about it. The nest looked way more comfortable than her old one, though. Elsa was already in love with her new home.

Kristoff unpacked her stuff from his backpack. It wasn't much, just her fluffy blanket, the book she was currently loaning from Kristoff's father, a flashlight, a small pillow, the beautiful knife with decorated wooden handle which Kristoff had given her, a comb and a bottle of soap. She didn't own much. She didn't have any personal belongings from her life before, other than the clothes on her. How much she wished she had had the only picture of her mom and her favorite stuffed animal, Sir Jörgen Björgen, with her when she escaped. She felt bad for leaving them behind, but there was no way to get them back anymore.

"Do you like it? I know it's quite cramped and everything, but at least it's warmer here." Kristoff pulled Elsa out of her gloomy thoughts.

"I love it. It's really cozy. Thank you, Kristoff," Elsa said sincerely.

"Okay, great. I gotta go now, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

"Try to be quiet. Good night, Elsa."

"Night."

And with that she was all alone, again. She didn't have to look strong anymore. Elsa felt like all the energy had been sucked out of her, she felt exhausted. She was shivering from the feverish cold she was feeling and didn't want anything more than curl on the bed, under her fluffy blanket. And that was exactly what she did. Then she let the sleep claim her weary body into disturbing dreams.

* * *

**A/N **And here we are! I was able to write this within a week, and I try to do the next one within a week, too. I hope you liked this chapter, and please, leave a comment to let me know your opinion. See ya!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N **Didn't write this within a week, but almost. I actually suddenly decided to go to North with my dog to see my family and skii and drive a snow mobile, the winter has been so sad where I live. I'll be staying here for some time, so not sure when I'll write the next chapter. Hope you like this one, tho!

* * *

Living on Bjorgman's attic was surprisingly easy for Elsa. Well it would have been easier if she didn't feel so horrible all the time. Last two days had been torture for Elsa. She was barely able to stomach any food Kristoff was bringing her. Usually she threw up the food after Kristoff left, not on purpose, she just couldn't help it. The pain in her lower abdomen was killing her. She could barely sleep at nights because of it. Two nights she had just laid on her bed, curled up, and sobbing her pain away. Crying didn't help any, though. In fact, it made it even worse when the sobs forced her body to tremble.

The fever made Elsa's mind hazy all the time. It was getting harder and harder for her to pretend to be fine. Kristoff was getting increasingly worried for her wellbeing, and Elsa didn't know if she could keep the act much longer. She didn't want to worry the boy. She was too afraid that his worry would push him to tell his parents about her, and they would either kick her out, or even worse, force her go back to home. She simply could not risk that, she had to will her illness away. Even though the nights were getting colder, and Elsa had started to doubt her survival through winter, she would rather die in this very attic than ever go back.

With newfound determination, Elsa kicked her blanket off. _Okay, wrong move_. She was immediately immobilized because of the pain. Elsa's breath was labored, trying to control the suffering. She felt like someone was rapidly stabbing her between her hip bones. Elsa knew she could take it, she was used to pain. After reclaiming her awareness of the world outside her discomfort, she got up. Elsa crawled towards the planks she knew would access her freedom out of the room.

The light blinded her. The two windows in the attic were small, but her room only had some cracks to bring any sunlight in, making it noticeably darker area. The lightness almost hurt her, but she didn't let it stop her from crawling towards the window. The pain made it impossible for her to walk. She also moved as quietly as she possibly could, the last thing Elsa wanted was for Kristoff's parents to hear her. She rarely was brave enough to leave her hiding place when there were others than just Kristoff, but some days, she just couldn't help her curiosity. Today it was more about her need to forget about her suffering than genuinely enjoying watching the life outside of the attic.

Elsa climbed on top of a box that was under the dusty window, and peered out. There she saw two kids throwing a frisbee together. It looked like so much fun and the kids looked like angels, with their light brown hair shining from the sunlight and tossing around like in a movie from the autumn breeze, but Elsa knew these children. She knew that they were anything but angels, their innocent looks didn't fool her. The twins, Ingrid and Knut, were little devils. She hadn't believed it when Kristoff had told her so. They looked like regular 8-years-old children, she had wrote it off as Kristoff just being annoyed by the kids. However, one day she was watching the kids to suppress her loneliness and she saw Ingrid cut the string of the youngest of Bjorgman's foster child's kite. Isaac was absolute devastated, but the twins just laughed. It was pure cruelty, Elsa had been mortified. Why would anyone do that to a 5-years-old innocent child who was just having some fun? But to Elsa's horror, that wasn't all the twins did. The twins had started pushing Isaac between them. They didn't even stop after Isaac threw up, and would probably still keep going if Kristoff hadn't ran there to save the poor kid.

Elsa hated the twins, even though she had never properly met them, she didn't have to. Isaac, on the other hand, seemed to be such a sweetheart. Whenever he was playing, he played alone. He seemed to be completely in his own mind all the time. She often saw him trying to help ants build their home. Kristoff had told her that he had heard that Isaac came to them after his parents had been in car crash while driving intoxicated from drugs. The car crash had killed Isaac's baby sister, but his parents had survived. Sometimes Elsa liked to daydream that she was Isaac. In her dreams, she was in the crushed car with her death father again, and then Kristoff comes and says that his parents will foster her now, she would never have to go back. But that was just a childish dream. Even Isaac wouldn't be that lucky, he will most likely go back to his parents someday, when they have gotten better and changed, but Elsa knew that people didn't really change.

When Elsa still lived with her father, she would often times lay on her bed with the stuffed animal her mother had made and the tiny picture she had of her in her hands. She would pray for her mother to come and save her from all the pain and suffering. Often she would pray that her mother was alive, and she would just come back and they would live happily ever after, where her father thought Elsa's debt to be finally paid. Other times she dreamed her mother would come as an angel. Her blond hair would shine like gold and she would have a white dress. Then her mother would take Elsa in her arms and spread her wings, together they would fly to Heaven.

Even after all this time, Elsa could see the picture clearly in her mind if she closed her eyes. She could remember every crack and detrition on in, and the way the paper had yellowed with time. She remembered her mother holding her in her arms, sitting on a couch. His father stood behind them, and in all his shortness, his head was barely higher than her sitting mother's. They all had such a blasting smiles on their faces, it was hard to even recognize her father with a smile. Behind the picture was the date the picture was taken, Elsa had been a little over a year. Under the date was three names: Anders, Heidi, and Elsa Weselton. She knew her own name, so it wasn't hard to guess that Anders was her father and Heidi her mother. Her father had always been 'sir' to her, and others always called him Duke. About her mother Elsa knew barely anything, just that she had died when she was a baby, and that her father refused to talk about her at all.

In reality, Elsa didn't remember her mother at all. She couldn't recall her voice or her touch. The only picture of her face in her mind was the one on the picture she had, her mother's smile frozen on the paper, forever. But sometimes things reminded her of her mother, like lavenders. It was easy for Elsa to imagine her mother had smelled like lavender, she couldn't think any other reason why the smell would made her miss her mother so much. She had once asked her father if her mother had smelled like that. It had earned her a hard slap on the face and warning to never talk about her mother again. Duke wasn't really violent, he didn't beat Elsa regularly or anything, but he wasn't gentle by any means either. Often he would grab Elsa so hard that her arms would bruise and sometimes he would pinch her ear, but that slap had really stood out. Elsa had been more terrified of her father than ever and she never dared to bring the subject up again, she had learned her lesson.

Elsa was distracted from her deep memories by some thud behind her. She turned around in sheer panic to see who had discovered her. She was sure that it was her father, he had come to bring Elsa back. But when it was just Kristoff, her whole body sighed in relief and she realized how silly she was being. Her father was dead, he would never come back, never. By now, she had learned that the dead didn't ever come back, not even if you wished for them to do.

"Kristoff, you scared the life out of me," Elsa hissed at her companion when he was done pulling the ladder up.

"Elsa! You're up!"

"Shhh, be quiet, we don't want your parents to know that."

"Oh yeah, sorry. But I brought you dinner," the boy said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Thank you," Elsa had to be grateful, even though she felt sick even from a thought of eating. How was it a dinner time already anyway? Elsa looked out from the dusty window, and saw the sun shining low in the horizon, the day had ran out before her own eyes.

* * *

Elsa and Kristoff were laying together on Elsa's small bed. It was cramped, but the kids were still comfortable. Elsa had forced down the salmon soup Kristoff had brought her. The liquid form of the food was little easier for her to deal with, but she still felt kind of queasy. She managed to hold the food down, while she listened Kristoff telling about his day. Quietly, of course. It was always delight to hear about outside world and about Kristoff's life. It distracted her from her own humdrum life, and it was so much easier for her to listen than talk because of her sickness.

"…And then my father said, if I don't clean up that mess immediately, he will punish me. I said that I'm not cleaning Ingrid's mess and then I came here. He was fuming, but I don't care, it wasn't my fault," Kristoff finished his story with annoyed huff.

"P-p-punish you?"

"Yeah, something stupid like grounding probably. It's not fair! Why should I clean, when it obviously was Ingrid? Would you clean that?"

"If my father told me to."

"Even if you didn't make the mess?"

"That doesn't matter. I just have to do what father says," _said, _Elsa fixed the tense in her mind.

"Why?"

"Uhh- I- My father always said that children have to always do what their parents say, because parents have given their children life and the debt from that can never be fully paid back."

"I don't think I like your father's way of thinking," Kristoff declared. Elsa frowned at this, she hadn't ever thought it as a way of thinking. She had always taken it as a truth, something that couldn't be questioned. What if her father was actually wrong, and children weren't in any debt to their parents. Was everything she endured actually because of his father greed and cruel nature than Elsa's need to pay her debt back?

"I don't think I like it either," Elsa finally confessed. After that they fell in silence and Elsa nestled deeper in Kristoff's arms and succumbed to sleep she deeply needed.

* * *

**A/N **Some insight in Elsa's past and life now. I'll reveal bits of Elsa's past through the story, but I hope this answered some of your questions. Let me know how you liked this chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N **I am having a little hard time to write this at the moment. I know where I want this to go, but the words don't seem to come out of my head for the pages. I hope it doesn't show too much. Please, enjoy the chapter and let me know how you liked it.

* * *

Kristoff was hurriedly scooping porridge in a dish. He kept looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was coming, but no one did before he was finished. Then he rushed out of the door, Axel on his heels. Kristoff grabbed a ladder leaning against the wall, and walked hurriedly towards the attic window at the back of the house, while balancing the plate and the ladder in his arms.

"Axel, keep watch," Kristoff whispered to the dog and started climbing. Axel sat down and watched him go.

When Kristoff reached the window, he opened it and crawled inside the attic. Then he pulled the ladder up. Often at mornings Kristoff would stay later at home, until everyone else had left the house, and then he would open the ladder inside the house, so Elsa could spend time in the house. But today Pabbie was home the whole day. These days Kristoff would rush to bring some food to Elsa and then bike to a bus stop as fast as he could to avoid missing the bus. Elsa probably didn't care staying in her room though. Lately, she had been too sick to get down the house anyway.

"Elsa?" Kristoff whispered and knocked his knuckles softly against the wooden planks. Elsa didn't answer anything, so he just pulled the planks apart and went in anyway.

The smell attacked him right away. The room was stuffy and foul-smelling. Elsa had been clearly throwing up and the uneaten food from the day before had started to spoil. The girl herself was laying under the covers, only wisps of platinum hair peaking underneath the blanket. She was breathing heavily and erratically, almost sounding like she was crying.

Kristoff padded next to Elsa's bed and hovered over her to take a look at her face, gently pulling the blanket down from her face. Her whole face was twisted in grimace, but there were no tears on her cheeks. She seemed to be in great pain. Kristoff sighed deeply and leaned to give Elsa a soft kiss on her temple. Against his lips, he could feel a sweaty and warm forehead. Elsa was shivering like she was freezing. _Poor Elsa. _He felt like he shouldn't leave Elsa alone when she was being this sick. Kristoff wished he could stay and take care of Elsa, but he was already taking too much time. He wished Elsa a good day and left. Dread building in his stomach. _Did he make the right choice?_

* * *

Kristoff was sitting in his second class, but couldn't concentrate on anything. Someone threw a rumbled paper ball at back of his head, but he barely registered it. He had this awful, gnawing feeling that had stayed with him since the morning. It was telling him that everything wasn't okay. Elsa wasn't okay, she hadn't been in a long time, but now she was at her worst. Kristoff was starting to realize, that Elsa had been pretending to be better than she was, but now she was too sick to pretend anymore. She had been too sick to get down to shower yesterday, when he was in school. She didn't even try to lie about it like she most likely had two days before that. Kristoff had tried to figure out what kind of sickness she could have, but he had no understanding of medical conditions, and asking would be too suspicious. He had tried to get some information from Pabbie, who was a doctor, but it was too risky and Kristoff wasn't great liar. Asking his mom was out of question, she would immediately know that something was up.

"Kristoff. Could you come here and write the answer for x?" Teacher's voice pulled Kristoff from his thoughts. He snapped his head up and looked at the blackboard. The numbers on it made little sense to him. Only thought he had in his head, was that Elsa would know the answer. Elsa always helped him with his math. _What if he didn't have Elsa anymore when he went back to home?_ Kristoff suddenly felt ill.

"I don't feel well", he said and dashed out of the classroom without waiting for any answer. He ran the empty hallway all the way to a restroom and locked the door.

Kristoff sat on the toilet seat and pulled his knees up and hugged them. Then Kristoff surprised himself by starting to cry. His sobs and sniffles were soft, barely audible, but he felt them all the way in his soul. It couldn't keep going on like this. He didn't want to tell about Elsa, he didn't want anyone to take her away and he didn't want to betray her trust. _But what if she died?_ If he didn't tell anyone, he would still lose her, but so would the whole world. Someone had to help Elsa, and he couldn't do it anymore. He had tried his best, but had failed.

Kristoff wanted to call his father to come get him now, but his phone was in his backpack in the classroom, and his father was too far away at work. He was a professor in university, which was located in another city. He usually traveled there with a train. It would take him too long to get back. Kristoff wanted his mother then, but Bulda was a nurse, and she wouldn't answer the phone during workhours. But Kristoff couldn't stay at school another moment, he needed to go to see Elsa. With that resolution, Kristoff got up and left the restroom. He exited the building, leaving all of his stuff to the class room, including his jacket. Outside, the late autumn breeze pinched his cheeks which were wet from tears. His unbuttoned green plaid shirt and t-shirt did little to prevent the wind and cold, and he was freezing within minutes. However, he didn't turn back.

When Kristoff finally reached the small, local hospital, in which his mother worked in, he was shivering and shaking from the cold. Kristoff's teeth were clattering and his cheeks were burning from newfound warmness inside the building. It didn't take long for some lady on the reception to come to ask him what was he doing in the hospital and where was his jacket.

"I want my mom," Kristoff wailed, and for his horror, he started sobbing again. He was 12-years-old boy, and there he was, crying his eyes out and asking for his mom. If his schoolmates saw him now, they would never let him forget. But Kristoff couldn't help himself, all the confusion and fear and uncertainty was starting to just be too much for him to handle anymore.

The lady was confused, and tried to get more information out of him, but was unsuccessful. That, until another nurse passed by and recognized Kristoff. He took Kristoff to his mother, who was astounded to see her son there.

Kristoff just ran to his mother and sobbed against her sterile smelling hospital clothes. "I wanna go home, mom. We have to help Elsa. I wanna go home." His muffled pleading was barely understandable at that point, with all the sniffling and sobbing. And Bulda had hard time to understand her son.

"Honey, what's wrong? Who's Elsa?"

This time Kristoff cried even louder: "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!"

Bulda tried to soothe the crying boy, and figure out what was wrong, but Kristoff was just too upset to cooperate at all.

"Sweetie, I'm in work, I can't take you home now. Could you wait in-"

"No! I have to go home now! I don't want her to die. I'm sorry. I don't want her to die," Kristoff cried and hiccupped the words out, and barely made any sense.

"Go, take him home. We will do just fine, it's a quiet day today. The boy clearly needs his mother more than the patients need a nurse now," a man with long, white coat said to Kristoff's mother. _Where did he even came from? _But nevertheless, with that Bulda ordered Kristoff to wait in car while she went to change her clothes. Then they started driving home.

Kristoff was sobbing the whole way and couldn't answer any of Bulda's questions. Bulda didn't press that hard, deciding to leave it for home. Kristoff on the other hand felt torn, he was going to betray Elsa. He was going to tell his mother about Elsa, and they would take Elsa away from him. They would take Elsa somewhere he didn't know, but he knew that it was somewhere that Elsa didn't want to go. Elsa would rather die than go there, but Kristoff couldn't let her make that decision, she was too precious for him.

* * *

Bulda parked the car at the yard and looked at her son. Kristoff had calmed down a little, but was still clearly upset. Now Bulda wanted to know what exactly had made the boy so distraught that he had come to her work to demand to be brought home.

"Kristoff, what is this? Did something happen in the school?" The boy only shook his head. "What is it then?"

Kristoff took deep breath and seemed to try to compose himself. "It's Elsa," he mumbled, but didn't seem to find any more words to continue. It was second time he mentioned that name. A girl's name he had never mentioned before that day.

"What about Elsa? Who is she?"

"Elsa's my friend. She's really sick, mom. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone, but mom, I think she'll die if I don't. Mom, you have to help her."

"Help her? Where is she?" Kristoff just hang his head low and seemed too ashamed to answer, that wasn't a good sign. "Kristoff, where is she?"

"In the attic. I'm sorry mom, I am. It's just- It's that- She didn't have any other place and it was getting too cold and she was getting sicker. I-"

"There's a sick girl in our attic right now, Kristoff?" The boy looked away from her and swallowed, that confirmed the statement enough for Bulda. "What is this? How long has this been going on? You know what, never mind. We'll talk about this later, I want to see that girl right now." And with that, Bulda got out of the car and hastened towards the house, Kristoff at her heels.

Inside, she yelled for Pabbie and kept going towards the ladder which would lead to the attic. When she was pulling the ladder down, Pabbie came to them and asked what was going on.

"Apparently, there's a sick girl in our attic," Bulda said, her voice snapping a little. Then she processed to walk up the ladder, paying no mind to Pabbies confusion or her son's pleading to wait.

But when she peaked her head in the attic, she saw nothing. There was no girl and she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or mad. She looked down to the rest of the group and was about to say that there was no one up there, but Kristoff interrupted her: "You have to go all the way up, she's hiding."

Bulda was about to protest. She would have been sure that Kristoff was just messing up with her, but the defeated tune in his voice made her do what he suggested. She got up all the way, and soon was joined by Kristoff and Pabbie. Then Kristoff asked them to follow him and he started walking towards one of the walls. Kristoff easily separated couple of planks from it.

"She's in there," Kristoff said, his head low and he sounded so broken.

Bulda wasn't sure what to do next. Kristoff was just standing there, unmoving and the opening he made was too small for Bulda to crawl in and too low for old Pabbie. When no one did anything for a while, Pabbie found a hammer and started removing the rest of the planks, making opening big enough for the adults too. Then they peaked in.

The light from the attic illuminated to the room, making it possible for Bulda to see. The room was small, and the roof was too low for them to stand with their backs straight. The stink in the room reminded her of the sick people in her work. Also the spoiling and uneaten food on the ground didn't help the matter. The most disorienting thing was that there was a mattress at the end of the room, and someone was clearly sleeping in it.

Kristoff didn't shy away from the stranger, but kneeled next to her and hugged her as much as one can hug a person who's laying under a blanket. "I'm so sorry Elsa, I had to tell them. They will help you, I won't let anyone hurt you. Please, trust me on this." Kristoff pleaded, sounding like he would start crying again soon. The lump on the bed only made some mumbling noise, she sounded to be in pain.

Finally curiosity won over Pabbie, and he closed the distance between him and the children. He kneeled next to Kristoff and guided the girl to turn on her back so he could take a better look. The girl's eyes were closed, mouth partly open, and she seemed to be in great pain. Her arms were cool to touch and the skin was mottled and bluish. _Oh no._

"Bulda! Call an ambulance! Tell them to come immediately!" He ordered. Bulda looked alarmed, but didn't protest. Kristoff tried to ask what was going on, Pabbie didn't have time to explain anything right now. He had to get the girl downstairs, so it would be faster to get her in the ambulance. "I'm sorry miss, I know moving must hurt you greatly, but I need to get you downstairs." He murmured gently for the girl and lifted her up, she didn't weight nearly as much as a girl her size should have.

The girl moaned in pain and tried weakly to push him away from her. Despite the protesting, it was relatively easy for the old man get her in his arms and carry her towards the ladder. Ladder was harder part. Even though the girl was tiny in many ways, she wasn't too short. Her long limbs and intense pain made it nearly impossible to carry down the ladder, but Pabbie managed. Then he carried the poor girl all the way to the first floor of the house, and laid her on a couch.

Kristoff immediately rushed to his friend's side and took a hold on her clammy, marbling hand. She barely reacted at all. Elsa rolled her head in pain and breathing seemed to be a struggle for her. _Was this how he was going to lose his only friend? _"She wasn't this bad at morning Pabbie, I swear. Is she going to die? I don't want her to die."

"I wish I could tell you. Now all we can do, is hope for the best and-"

"The ambulance is here!" Bulda's yell interrupted Pabbie, and soon paramedics rushed into the house and too soon they were loading limp Elsa on a stretcher. It all was happening too fast, Kristoff couldn't quite grasp on the situation. Not before the paramedics were already carrying her friend away, Pabbie at their heels.

"No! Wait! I'm going with you!" Kristoff yelled after them, but Bulda caught him before he made it out of the front door and held him back. "Let me go! Elsa needs me! Elsa! Elsa!" But Bulda didn't let him go even though he trashed and kicked and screamed. When he saw them closing the ambulance doors, Elsa and Pabbie inside, he fell limply on the ground, defeated.

"Elsa," He whispered to the air, watching the car speed away, its red lights flashing and sirens wailing. He felt empty.


	6. Chapter 6

"Kristoff, please, you should eat something. Otherwise you'll be hungry in school."

"I'm not going to school," Kristoff stated and pushed his porridge plate farther away.

"You have to go to school. I let your skipping slide on Friday, but not today," Bulda said strictly.

"I don't care. I'm not going, not before you let me see Elsa," Kristoff huffed irritably, not ready to give up an inch to his mother.

"We talked about this. We are not preventing you to see her to be mean, she's just too—" Bulda started explaining the situation, for what felt like millionth time, but was interrupted by the doorbell and Axel's barking.

"I'm gonna get it!" Ingrid screamed while surging down the stairs. Bulda couldn't really see her, but she sure could hear her, pounding down those poor stairs.

"No! I wanna get it!" Knut ran after his sister. Kristoff and Bulda could then see them running towards the vestibule through the opened doors in the dining area. The twins were trying to pull each other farther away from the door to get there first themselves, before both disappeared in the vestibule.

Bulda and Kristoff could hear some talking coming from the front door, and waited patiently. Soon, the twins reappeared, but with two serious looking individuals with them, female and male. Both were tall and slim and wore neat clothes. Knut and Ingrid showed them the way to the dining room, holding hands with each other like they often did, all of their previous disagreement forgotten. Then they left, sniggering quietly together. Before Bulda had time to ask anything, the female pulled out an identification card and said: "Good morning, ma'am. We are sorry to disrupt your morning, but I'm detective Dahl and this is detective Olsen, and we're from Tromsø's police department. We have some questions concerning the girl that was brought to hospital from here."

"Is she okay?" Kristoff asked quickly, eager to know how her friend was doing.

"She's getting the best possible treatment for her illness," the male, Olsen, answered vaguely.

"That's not really an answer," Kristoff scowled.

"Look son, we're not really doctors here. All we want, is for you to tell us what you know about this girl and who she is. We can start with the name. What is her name?"

"That's none of your business. If you want to know, you can ask her," Kristoff snapped to them, rudely.

"Elsa. That's what you called her, right honey?" Bulda said, helpfully. Kristoff looked at her with face full of betrayal. _How did she dare?_

"Elsa, okay, thank you. Do you have last name?"

"I don't know. Kristoff?" But Kristoff didn't answer, he just crossed his arms and looked pissed. "Kristoff, behave. Excuse me, I have to go to see that the other kids leave for the school." And with that, Bulda left Kristoff alone with the detectives.

"I get it, you want to protect your friend, but the best thing you can do, is tell us what you know. We want to help your friend too, and find her home and family, people who can take care of her," the female cop, Dahl, explained, kindly.

"Elsa doesn't have a home or family, and she doesn't want to go back where she came from." Kristoff said, his voice tight.

"Okay, but it's still important for us to know everything. If Elsa doesn't have anyone, we'll have to find her a new home and family. And if she does have a family that isn't good for her, we'll have to look into it more. The best for Elsa right now, is to find her origin."

Kristoff sighed and slumped down onto his chair. "I don't know, okay? We didn't really talk about her life before. I don't know her last name, or where she is from. Elsa didn't like to talk about things like that."

"Did she ever mention anyone from her past? Perhaps some adult friend?"

"I don't know. Her father, I guess. Yeah, she mentioned her father couple of times. And umm- I think she was bullied in school, or something. Elsa didn't have any friends."

"Father! That's a great start. What did she say about her father?" the male detective pressed on, sounding excited for getting something to work with.

Kristoff shot a hesitating look for his mother who walked back to the room after seeing the other children to school. She gave him approving smile and nod to continue, so he did: "Nothing much, just that he made Elsa do most of the housework, Elsa didn't see any problems with it, though. And then he wanted her to call her sir instead of dad. Over all, he didn't sound like the nicest person out there for me, and Elsa didn't really talk about him."

"Did she mention a name? Any names?" Dahl tried.

"No."

"Are you sure? This is really important. We can't help your friend, if you are not cooperating with us," Olsen squinted his eyes, suspiciously.

"She never mentioned any names or any places she had been in. I'm not lying!" Kristoff was getting a little frustrated.

"Okay, we believe you. No need to lose your temper," Olsen said and lifted his arms up a little, as sign of surrender.

"We have one last question. We need you to be honest with us. But I think it would be easier for you to answer if your mother would wait in the other room," the female detective subtly pointed the door for Bulda.

"What is this? Are you accusing my son for something?" Bulda asked, getting a little unsettled.

"No, no, we're not accusing him of anything. We're just trying to—" Dahl started, trying to calm the situation. But she was interrupted by the male detective blurting out: "We need to know if you've been intimate with Elsa."

"Olsen!" Dahl hissed warningly.

"Intimate with Elsa?" Kristoff asked, confused. He looked to his mother for answers, but she just had a flabbergasted expression on her face.

"Yeah. You know, have you touched her, in her private parts? Possibly with your own private parts, or fingers, or with something. We're not judging, you're a big fellow and she's a pretty gal. It wouldn't be shocking if you had, since you two have been quite close and—"

"Olsen! This is completely inappropriate!" the female detective seemed to completely lose her cool when she was trying to get her partner to shut up. Kristoff's face was flushed red when he understood what the detective was implying. Bulda was horrified of what they were asking of her son.

After he recovered from his shock, mortified Kristoff yelled with high pitched voice: "Eww no! That's gross! I don't like Elsa like that, she's like a sister for me!"

"They're twelve-years-old, for goodness sake. Why are you asking him questions like this?" Bulda asked with an offended tone.

"We're sorry ma'am. It's- We're- We think it would be the best if we tested your son anyway. Just in case," the female detective seemed to be in loss of words. Kristoff was confused, he didn't understand what she was talking about. _Getting tested for what?_

Bulda, on the other hand, seemed to get what the female detective was implying. "You want to test my son for STD, don't you? Oh my gosh! Does that poor girl have STD?"

"We cannot tell you that, ma'am. Just that it would be the best for your son to get tested. I know that he said that they didn't do anything, but I wouldn't take any risks," Dahl said, not unkindly.

"We should leave now, think what we said. Have a good day," Olsen said right after his partner had ended her sentence. And with that, they both turned around, every intention to leave the house.

"Hey, wait!" Kristoff yelled after them. "Can I go to see her? In the hospital, you know?"

"She's not really up to any talking, but if you want to see your friend, I don't see why you couldn't," and then they were gone.

"Mom pleaseeeee," Kristoff begged his mother to let him go.

"Fine. If Pabbie agrees to drop me to work and drive you to Tromsø, you can go."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Kristoff jumped up and down and rushed to the old homestead, located on their yard, where Pabbie's room was.

* * *

"I don't think we're any closer to find out who the girl is," Olsen groaned while driving them back to Tromsø.

"No, I think we are. Do you remember that Swedish business man who was murdered in his car in early July?"

"That case in Rana? With that burned car? It was Anders Weselton, right?"

"Yes, that one. Didn't he have a twelve-years-old daughter named Elsa? The one who couldn't be found after child welfare realized that there should be a child?" Dahl asked, wanting to confirm her of suspicious.

"Oh yes! He did! And this girl matches perfectly that case, doesn't she? Blonde hair and fair skin, if I remember it correctly," Olsen was getting excited for the idea of breakthrough.

"Yes, I'm sure she's the one. I'll have to call there and make sure that this is the right missing person, but I'm pretty sure she is. The poor girl doesn't have any relatives to take care of her though, no one even asked for her after her father died."

"But I bet she could help solve the murder case though. Maybe she knows something more about Weselton's actions, more than just the tax fraud they were able to unveil."

"Considering the state the girl is in, I think Weselton could be involved in pedophile ring and human trafficking. Maybe he got in disagreement with those people and was going to rat them out, or something. That would certainly give the murderer a motive."

"Hmm. She could have gotten the chlamydia while on the run though. Who knows what has happened to her while out there alone?"

"She could have, but the doctor said that she most likely had had it for a year, considering the damage it had caused. She has been on the run six months at most, probably less. It's more likely, that she was sexually abused before she ran away, and that might be the reason for her hiding. That boy mentioned, that she didn't want to go back to where she came from."

"You're right, we'll just have to get her to speak and maybe we'll solve way more than just the murder case. She might not be willing to speak though, she seemed to be terrified of us and the hospital staff, and back then she was completely pumped up with drugs. I doubt she'll be any more willing to cooperate with us when she's not heavily sedated."

"She's seems to like that boy, maybe we can use that to help us later on. But now, I have to call to Rana and talk with them about the case," Dahl ended the conversation, and pulled her phone from her pocket.

* * *

Kristoff pressed a button and spoke to a mic, unsurely: "Umm… Kristoff Bjorgman. I'm here to see my friend, Elsa." Then he waited for a moment and the door buzzled. He shot an uncertain look to Pabbie, wanting reassurance. Pabbie provided that with a small smile, and a pat on the back. Kristoff walked in and towards the small waiting room. There he sat down on the couch, nervously.

Kristoff felt uncomfortable sitting down. He fidgeted some time, and then got up and walked to look at the time in the clock, and then walked back to the couch to sit and fidget on. He repeated this at least twenty times in fifteen minutes, even though, he could easily see the clock from where he sat.

"You're Kristoff, right? Miss Elsa is this way," a nurse had come to the lobby and was showing Kristoff a way to his friend. He glanced Pabbie, but Pabbie just ushered him to follow the man, alone.

Kristoff walked through a hallway with the nurse, his heart pounding in his throat. They arrived in a long room with five beds. All the beds were occupied and there were so many tubes and wires on every single of the beds, Kristoff felt sick to his stomach. In the very last one, laid Elsa. She looked so tiny, just lying there, attached to machines. Her thin arms laid on top of the covers, wires on top of her hand and some strange clip on her bony finger. There was a mask on her face. Her platinum hair laid lifelessly on the pillow, and for the first time, Kristoff saw it being free. Her skin was sickly pale and she had dark bags under her eyes, despite for sleeping most of the days. There was a monitor keeping track of her heartbeat, and possibly other functions too. Kristoff sat next to it and hesitatingly reached for Elsa's hand. She didn't even stir.

"Hey Elsa. It's me, Kristoff," Kristoff said awkwardly, and waited. But there was no answer, so he decided to go on. "I'm sorry for not visiting earlier. I wanted to come to the hospital with you, but mom didn't let me. And then they brought you here, so I couldn't visit without getting a drive. Pabbie brought me today. Do you remember him?"

He waited for a moment, again. And then he swallowed a lump that had built up in his throat. "It's hard, seeing you like this. I feel like you should wake in any minute, and then we could go to wander into the woods again, like we used to when you still lived in that abandoned house." Kristoff gave a gentle squeeze for Elsa's hand and shuddered a breath. It was so hard to look at the pale little girl sleeping there. For the first time, Elsa stirred a little because of the pressure on her hand, and then slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids looked heavy and she had her eyes only half-opened. There was a hazy look in her blue, glazed eyes.

Kristoff felt a little nervous. He wasn't sure, if he had been allowed to wake Elsa up. He turned to glance the nurse behind the glass window, watching a monitor, but he didn't seem to mind, so Kristoff turned his attention back to the girl. "Hey my little traveling snowflake. Where have you been wandering these late days?" Kristoff whispered to Elsa, voice full of affection.

"Mm. Mom was here. Oh Kristoff, she wasn't at all like I had imagined," Elsa murmured, sounding delirious and kind of dreamy. Her words were jumping around and it sounded like they got stuck in her throat and she had to push them out.

"Your mom? She came here?" Kristoff asked, confused.

Elsa kept a long pause, and closed her eyes. It was so long, that Kristoff actually thought that she fallen back to sleep. But then she half-opened her eyes again, smiled a little, and put her right hand on top of Kristoff's hand, which was holding her other hand. Then she murmured: "Hmmm. Thank you for coming."

"Of course, I wouldn't leave you here alone at all, if I had a choice."

But Elsa didn't answer anymore, she had drifted back to her slumber, her right hand now limply falling off of Kristoff's. Kristoff helped Elsa to more comfortable looking position, and then got up and kissed her forehead softly. His lips ghosting on her forehead, he whispered the final promise: "I promise that I'll take better care of you than I have, no matter of what." And then he left Elsa to rest in peace.

* * *

**A/N **I know this is really dialogue-heavy chapter, I hope you don't mind. Thank you so much for your support, I love reading about your thoughts in the comment section. Let me know what you think about this chapter, and we'll see in the next one!


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up without any recollection of the past days had become new normal for Elsa. When she first woke, she always had that certain sense of panic. Everything around her was so facility-like, pastel blue, too bright and sterile-smelling. Then she would feel the wires going in her hand and her first instinct was to rip them off. But usually that was the part, when she would start remembering. She would remember her illness and Kristoff's worried face, she would remember her days in the children's department of the hospital and even gain some clips of the ambulance and intensive care unit, but those were hazy and dream-like. Her memories didn't really make her more comfortable to be where she was, but they calmed down some of the panic.

After the panic left Elsa's limbs, they became too heavy. She slumped back to the bed, and let her head to loll to her right until her cheek was pressed heavily against the pillow. Then she stared at her sleeping roommate whose name she couldn't remember, not that Elsa cared to. She was a girl, but it was hard to tell, because she didn't have a single hair on her head, not eyebrows or lashes or anything, she was completely bald. She was somewhere around eight and nine, Elsa had guessed that. Most of the days she slept, as much as Elsa could tell from her own sleeping. They never spoke together, and only times Elsa had heard her voice, were when she was crying during her family's visitations. Elsa didn't cry like that, she was over twelve already. Her father had told her that big girls didn't cry, it was embarrassing, annoying and unattractive. Though Elsa wasn't sure she was supposed to be attractive, nor was she sure she wanted to be, but she tried to follow his father's orders nevertheless. In secret, she sometimes cried. But no one had to know that, right?

Elsa didn't mind the silence they had in the room. She was happy to have a quiet roommate, if she had to have some roommate. It wasn't like Elsa herself was any more talkative. She didn't talk to the doctors or nurses that attended her, and she certainly didn't talk to the police who tried to interrogate her. Elsa knew better than to trust in authorities. No matter how sweet they seemed to be, Elsa was terrified of all of them. Especially uniforms made her feel uneasy. She still had bitter memories from her childhood, when she had still been stupid and naïve, thinking that polices were there to help children like her. She had been no more than eight-years-old. Elsa was not sure of her exact age, but they had still lived in Sweden with her father. Back then there was a policeman, Måns, he often visited their household, always in his uniform. He was a big, chubby man, not terribly tall, and he had a booming laughter that filled whole room. But the most distinctive characteristic Elsa remembered, was his laughing eyes, they reminded her of her mother's eyes in that picture Elsa loved so dearly, she liked them instantly.

Whenever Måns came, he sat in the parlor with her father, and talked about some things Elsa couldn't understand, nor was she allowed to listen. But she would bake some cinnamon buns for the men, which wasn't uncommon task for Elsa to do when they had guests, and then she would serve them with a shy smile, reserved just for Måns. Måns would laugh a little and praised her baking skills to the skies, and Elsa would bask in the rarely earned compliments until her father would shoo her off. Elsa did her best to please Måns, hoping he would save her from all the pain and suffering she had to endure in within the walls of that empty mansion, and many others like it.

Her silly daydreaming came to end when her father one day told her to go with Måns. Her father's displeased face, made Elsa think that maybe her dreams actually did come true, maybe Måns was finally saving her. And for the longest time, the tiny piece of hope had sparkled brightly inside her chest. That spark was quickly snuffed off, when her father had leaned in to whisper: "Remember to be a good girl." Her father always said that to her, when she had to go with his father's customers, and thinking that Måns was now one of them, had broken Elsa's tormented little heart. It had almost made Elsa cry then and there.

Elsa had sniffled the whole hour she had spent with Måns and he had been surprisingly gentle with her. But the experience itself had been one of the worst ones for her so far, no matter how gentle he tried to be with her. Måns had never bought her again from her father, but he still visited them, time to time. Elsa had still made them cinnamon buns, and brought them to the parlor, where the men were sitting, but she always had her gaze on the floor, and she scurried off as fast as she had put the tray down. Sometime later, they moved to Norway, and Elsa never saw Måns again. Well, not the Måns she had known, but every smiling, seemingly harmless man was potential Måns for Elsa. She made sure to never trust one, ever again.

* * *

A nurse came in to check out Elsa and her roommate's vitals, and force Elsa back to the reality she really didn't care to return. Yet again, her senses were filled with sterile stink and the dull blue color. The nurse was a smiley female, who chattered happily, even though Elsa's roommate only gave low grunts for answer. The hospital had long learned to only send female doctors and nurses in Elsa's room, since females only made her mildly anxious, while male once send her in spiraling panic. Though Elsa had gotten accustomed enough for the constant visit of the hospital staff, that she just mostly laid there, still and unresponsive, whenever they came in.

Today Elsa was in a quite sour mood. She was getting healthier, and being locked in an institution full of people and someone dotting over her all the time, started to get on her nerves. Now the nurse was checking her vitals and talking about something, but she didn't care to listen. The things they said were always the same, always about how lucky she was. How lucky Elsa had been to survive the disease which Elsa had never heard of, or which name she couldn't remember. Some sort of blood poisoning, or something. Apparently, it could shut down all of her organs, and not too many people survived it, if it developed to that point, or something. But no, Elsa hadn't die, she was so lucky. Then Elsa was lucky, because the damage her organs had suffered, was quite minimal. She was lucky, because there were people coming to visit her, people who cared for her. She was extremely lucky to have a friend like Kristoff. Kristoff who had visited her every weekend in the children's department, and apparently twice in the ICU, though Elsa couldn't remember that. _Oh, how lucky she was._

But Elsa didn't feel lucky at all. She felt like she was in prison. She couldn't get up and walk outside if she wanted to. Of course she was used to that, but now she had nothing to distract her from that all-consuming boredom. Kristoff had brought her a book, but she couldn't find any enjoyment in reading anymore. Elsa hated the smell, the dull colors, the nurses and doctors talking and touching her, the detectives coming in and trying to talk to her about her past while she continued ignoring them. She hated the uncertainty of what would become of her, when she got better. She couldn't stand the agonizing pain. She hated the daze the drugs put her in, and she hated the dolorous clarity between the doses even more. Only thing she could tolerate, was sleeping, and that's what she did most of her time. When she was sleeping, there was no pain and there was no boredom, no uncertainty of the future. Elsa just wanted to sleep and not wake up anymore. Elsa was fairly certain, that she wanted to die.

* * *

Kristoff and his parents came when Elsa was wallowing in her self-pity after the lunch she hadn't eaten. The nurses and doctors said she should eat, but Elsa got her food through IV anyway, so what was the point? Mrs. Bjorgman looked at her uneaten lunch, and tried to courage her to eat some, but Elsa just shrugged noncommittally. Kristoff seemed a little nervous, and Elsa felt that something bad was about to be unrevealed. She swallowed her fear and tried to hide her shaky voice behind false bravado: "Good afternoon Mrs. Bjorgman." She glanced at Mrs. Bjorgman's face with a fleeting smile, which was the most she dared. But she lowered her eyes to her hands laying on top of the covers, fiddling with each other, and added meekly: "And Mr. Bjorgman."

After greetings, no one seemed to make any move to continue the chatting. Usually, Elsa was more than fine with silence, but now it hung uncomfortably within the room, making Elsa anxious. So she had to try to prompt the conversation forward: "So, uh—what brings you all the way here today?" Older Bjorgmans looked at her, surprised, that was probably the longest sentence she had managed in their presence. Kristoff kept his head down, he was really starting to unnerve Elsa.

Mrs. Bjorgman decided to put the poor girl out of her misery: "Elsa, we have talked with Kristoff a lot about this, and we would like to foster you after you're better. Kristoff is really fond of you, he even promised to give you his own room. And we heard that you don't have any relatives to take care of you. We would be really happy to add you into our family."

Elsa just laid there, dumbfounded, for a moment. She wanted nothing more than live in that beautiful farmhouse with her only friend. But when she turned to see said friend, her mouth still slightly open from shock, he didn't look too happy. Kristoff's eyes were still trained on the floor, and he was pursing his lips, deep frown on his face. Elsa was confused. _Mrs. Bjorgman said that Kristoff wanted to live with her, but why he looked so troubled then? _

Then Kristoff lifted his head up and looked at Elsa: "There's a catch." _Of course there is! _How could Elsa have been so stupid to believe, she would get something like that for free? She wasn't sure that she could pay that price anymore, not after she had tasted life without it. But Kristoff's catch wasn't what she thought. "The police promised to recommend us fostering you as the best solution for you, only if you did something for them. They said that their recommending would make it sure case that my family could foster you. But Elsa, they want your cooperation with their interrogation."

"I—I don't know if I can. It's just—."

"I know, and I'm so sorry to ask you about this, but please Elsa. They said that you have Sweden's citizenship, and they could send you back there. I don't want to lose you", Kristoff pleaded. "They said that you haven't done anything wrong, that they wouldn't punish you for anything you say. They just want you as a witness for something, they need you, I need you."

After that, it became quiet again. Kristoff was holding Elsa's right hand, pleading her with his eyes. Elsa wanted to believe in Kristoff. She wanted to think that Kristoff would only ask her things that were in her own best interest, and he would be right about everything. But Kristoff was just a boy, what did he know about anything? She knew that Kristoff wouldn't purposely hurt her, but the detectives could have easily tricked him, make him believe that they were there to help. Kristoff had betrayed her once before by telling her whereabouts, and now she was in this mess. He had justified it by saying that he couldn't let her die, but that wasn't his choice to make. He should have let Elsa choose about her life and death.

But what was there for Elsa? If she didn't take the change, they would send her back to Sweden for sure. She didn't want to go there, she didn't want to go back to her loneliness. This might be her only change, and if they screwed her over, at least she had tried her best. Maybe the detectives weren't lying, and she could actually be fostered by Bjorgmans. Could she live with herself if she passed her only opportunity?

"I'll do it."

"You—Wait? You'll tell them what they want to know?"

"I'll tell everything I know. You can tell them to come, I'll do it."

"It's—She's waiting outside. We'll get her." Kristoff leaned in to kiss her forehead, so softly that Elsa almost cried. Then he whispered gently against her skin: "Be strong, you can do it." And Elsa could only nod and swallow the lump in her throat.

* * *

Soon after the Bjorgmans left, the detective came in. Elsa sighed in relief. There was only one, and she was a female, dressed in casual clothing. She wasn't too old, in her early thirties maybe. She had heart-shaped face, with thick rimmed glasses on her nose. Her hair, in ponytail, was blonde, but closer to Kristoff's color than Elsa's. She wasn't skinny, nor chubby, but looked otherwise delicate, which might be due to her short stature. If Elsa was going to be interrogated by police, she was happy it was by that, harmless looking woman. Elsa knew that looks could easy lull one in a false sense of security, she could easily be as dangerous as any other cop. But Elsa couldn't help but be relieved that they didn't send a man, she didn't think she could talk with one in the room.

"Hey, I'm Ida Ullmann. You can call me Ida. I'm here to ask you questions about your father and his associates. Are you ready for that?" Elsa nodded slowly. _Did she really have any other options?_ Ida seemed content with her answer, and sat down on the chair next to Elsa, notebook in her hands.

"Okay, lets start easy. Do you know what happened to your father?" Elsa nodded again, hesitantly. She wasn't sure if Ida meant his death, or how he died, but she knew both anyway.

"So you are aware of his demise?" _So it was about his death. _

"Y—Yes. I was there", Elsa answered with shaky voice. She wanted to tell all the information quickly, so this interrogation would end sooner. She was already feeling dizzy from the nervousness. Her heart was thumping in her ears.

Ida's face seemed to brighten for her answer. She looked pleased, so Elsa was quite sure that she had given the right answer. "You were there? Can you recall the moments before your father's death?"

"Umm—He had been shot. We were driving fast, escaping, I guess. Then he umm—He started losing consciousness and we—uh—we crashed, I think. When I wake up, he was—uh—he was dead. Then I ran away."

"Did you see who shot your father?"

"Uh—Yes", Elsa didn't really want to go there.

"Can you elaborate? What lead to the shooting?"

"Umm—Father and –uh—Author had a fight. I don't know his real name, Father and others called him Author, many people my father –uh—introduced me to, they had nicknames."

"Did your father have a nickname?"

"Uh—Yes. They—they called him Duke. Everyone did, I never heard anyone using his right name", Elsa was a little confused, what did her father's nickname matter. But she tried to be as cooperative as she possibly could, so she told everything she knew.

"Thank you, Elsa. Now, do you know what was this 'Author' and your father's fight about?"

"Umm—I think—I'm not sure, but I think it was about money. Author didn't want to—uh—pay as much as my father was asking for", Elsa was started to get embarrassed, she really didn't want to talk about this. She trained her eyes strictly to her nervously fiddling hands.

"Do you know what was this 'Author' was trying to buy?"

"Umm—me? That's why I was there, too. I mean—uh—that was why father took me there. It wasn't—umm—it wasn't the first time we were there." Elsa was feeling terribly shamed and nervous. How would the detective react now that she knew about Elsa? But when Elsa risked a glance, Ida didn't look surprised or disgusted with her. Fleetingly, she looked disturbed. But mostly she just looked like someone, who had gotten a confirmation for something awful she already knew. _Was it possible, that police already knew about everything? Were they just ignoring it, maybe even participating, like Måns had? _Elsa felt sick.

But Ida surprised her with a gentle hand on her blanket covered knee. Elsa flinched only slightly. The detective spoke gently, but convincingly: "We will catch this man, I promise you. We will catch every single man, who has hurt you, or children like you. All we need, is you to tell us everything you know about them, like you have today. You did good, Elsa, you did really good. Do you think you would be able to tell us all of it?"

Elsa nodded slowly. She wanted to trust Ida. Elsa was so tired of fighting alone, she just wanted someone catch her from her fall, and save her. Ida smiled at her warmly: "Great. And now I'll go, and see what I can do about your housing arrangement."

* * *

Ida hadn't lied. Snow had already fallen heavily on the ground, when Elsa got out of the car at Bjorgmans' yard, one December morning. It had taken almost a month of paper work and three different antibiotics through IV for Elsa to get there. She still felt weak and sickly, and the pain hadn't fully gone away, but she felt more content than she had in the longest time. Finally, she got to move in her dream house, and live with her best-friend. She got to have siblings, not that she was terribly excited for Ingrid or Knut, but Isaac and Kristoff as her brothers didn't feel bad at all.

Of course Elsa knew it was all temporally. She was only a foster child, not an adopted one like Kristoff. Someday, they would probably find her a new home, and she could only hope it was more like the Bjorgmans than the Weseltons. Mrs. Bjorgman had been so nice to her, forcing Elsa's untrusting nature to like her, even though she knew better. Mr. Bjorgman was a gentle man, too. Elsa was still wary of him, like she was of any man, but with a warm smile, he always gave her the space she needed.

Knut and Ingrid had ignored her, looking displeased to have an added member to the family. But small and quiet Isaac had brought her a small origami angel. He had made it himself, and he hoped, it would keep Elsa safe in the future. Elsa had almost cried. She had never felt as loved as she did there, standing on the frost hardened snow, surrounded by her new family and her best-friend, who was going to be her brother. Elsa knew that there was still a lot for her to deal from her past, but she felt like she could finally move forward. She thought that this might be it, her change for a normal life, and a normal future.

* * *

**A/N** The end. Naah, I'm just kidding, this is the start. I hope you liked the chapter, please leave a comment. As always, I love reading your thoughts of the chapter. See you hopefully in the next week, stay safe and healthy! Ps. spoiler alert: you'll meet Anna in the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N** I've been a little bored lately. Since basically the whole country has stopped functioning. That's why I wrote this so fast. And uh, this one is a long one, but I hope you like it. Not only the lenght, but also the story. Please, leave a comment after reading (:

* * *

Everything was foggy and the world felt like it was spinning and turning. Elsa felt like all of her memories were within her reach, but she just couldn't quite grasp any of them. The more she gained consciousness, the more horrible she felt. Elsa felt queasy, her head throbbed, and her whole body was kind of aching. The pain felt numbed somehow, like she knew it should be there, but it quite wasn't. Elsa wasn't sure of anything.

Then she tried to draw a deep breath, but it just made her gag. There was something in her throat, making it impossible for her to breathe. Elsa's eyes flew open, but she couldn't see anything, just brightness. She tried to lift her hands to claw her throat, but something, someone, was holding her chest down, making it impossible for her to lift her arms up. The panic was so intense. She tried to trash herself free, but there were another pair of hands, stronger ones, holding her down with even more force. They were male hands, something Elsa was even more afraid, though she couldn't quite remember why. But these hands didn't make her more afraid, they felt familiar, like they had always been there to hold her. They were strong and gently, they made her feel safe somehow. Not only the hands, but the voice paired with it. She knew she should recognize it, but it was so hard when the buzzling in her ears was swallowing the words.

There was another voice, unfamiliar female. But she was able to understand her words: "Please, miss, there's nothing to be worried about. You're in hospital, you were in an accident. There's an intubation tube in your throat. Don't try to talk, we'll remove it now, if you'd just laid still a moment."

Elsa started to calm down, she didn't feel as threated anymore. She could now see two blurry figures standing in front of her, almost looming over her. She recognized the other face, it was Kristoff. Kristoff would keep her safe. She relaxed back on the bed, well as much as she possibly could.

"Very good. Now, cough for me and I'll remove the tube", the female voice said and Elsa complied. She could feel the tube being removed from her throat, it was such an unpleasant experience.

When Elsa was free from the tube, her throat felt sore and uncomfortable. Her voice was hoarse when she rasped out: "What happened?"

It was Kristoff who answered this time, holding her left hand: "You were in accident, Elsa. Someone hit your bike with a car, when you were coming from your yoga practice." That helped her memory a little. She started gaining bits and pieces from the last days.

"Your right arm's radius snapped from the impact when you fell, and you fractured multiple bones on your hand and your shoulder in the same arm. The breaks were clean, and we were able to just cast your arm and give you a sling. Your right leg, however, wasn't as lucky. Apparently, it got tangled with your bike, and you broke both: your tibia and your fibula. We had to fix them through surgery. The surgery went without complications. Also, there is a possibility of head injury, though you head had no other visible marks, than scratches and bruising on your cheek and jaw." The lady in long, white coat informed her.

After all that had sunk in Elsa's brain, she finally remembered everything. Well almost, her memories from the ambulance were quite hazy, but everything before the crash was clear as a day. And what else was clear, was how much Elsa hated hospitals. "Thank you, I want to go home now."

The doctor looked flabbergasted, her mouth hanging open. Like she couldn't believe what Elsa had said. "Ah—miss, you can't—it's—you just woke up from surgery", the doctor tried to stutter.

"What the hell, Elsa? You are not going anywhere! You could have died!" Kristoff yelled at his sister. _Why it always had to be so hard with her, when it was about her health?_

"I'm fine, I want to go home", Elsa insisted, ignoring Kristoff completely. It was hard to grasp on the reality, her head felt so foggy, but that much was sure for Elsa.

"Miss, I really can't recommend that. You're still highly medicated and there's the possibility of concussion", the doctor tried to explain, but Elsa didn't care to listen.

"I don't need your recommendation. I am adult, and you can't force me to stay here against my will." Then Elsa turned to her brother and huffed: "Are you going to help me, or do I have to crawl my way back to home with broken limbs?"

Kristoff sighed and rubbed his neck, feeling desperate. He was mad at Elsa for being so reckless, but he also knew Elsa. Elsa hated hospitals, and absolutely nothing could make her stay in one, if she didn't want to. He didn't doubt a second Elsa would actually crawl home, if she had to. "Fine, I'll take you home. But mark my words, this is stupid and unsafe."

"You can't be serious. Miss, please, you just woke up. Rest a little and lets talk about this later", the doctor was trying her best to make Elsa stay.

"No, I'm going now. Kristoff, help me up", Elsa ordered Kristoff, who dutifully helped his stubborn sister to sitting position. Damn it was surprisingly hart to get up, Elsa felt utmostly dizzy.

But when Elsa started helping her right leg to the side of the bed, the doctor had to stop her: "Oh no, no. You can't walk with that leg. I'm getting you a wheelchair."

"Wheelchair? Wouldn't crunches be enough?" Elsa didn't want to sit in a stupid wheelchair, helpless and needy.

"And with what arms will you pull your weight with crunches?" Elsa looked helplessly at her casted hand. When she tried to protest, that she could do just fine with one hand, the doctor was already gone.

It didn't take long for her to return with a wheelchair. Kristoff lifted Elsa's tiny form on it, and she winced from the pain that moving caused. When she was still and sitting, the doctor spoke with stern voice: "I cannot recommend this at all, and I think you are taking stupid risk, young lady. But because I cannot force you to stay, I'll have you sign this paper, where you take full responsibility of leaving early." Elsa signed it, her left hand unharmed. _Thank God for small favors. _"Okay, then I'll get you an e-receipt for opioids suitable for you. You remember that you are not allowed to eat regular painkillers due to your liver and kidney hypofunction, right?" Elsa nodded. "You can take this medication for intense pain, I will write the dose in prescription, do not go over it. Any questions?" Kristoff wanted to chat a little more, but Elsa couldn't wait to just get away from the hospital. She had spent way too much of her childhood in them.

* * *

Kristoff was driving his old, red Volkswagen Taro pick-up truck, his knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Elsa seemed like she had seen better days. Immediately when they left hospital, she had slumped in her seat, like all of her fight had drained out of her. Kristoff had even considered wheeling her back into the hospital, where she belonged. Elsa was still obviously quite high from the drugs, it was wonder she had been able to demand her way out of the hospital bed, or maybe her drug-induced haze contributed with her stubbornness. Elsa was usually quite meek in front of authorities. Her initial fear towards them never disappeared, no matter how much they had helped her, in the past.

Whatever it was, Kristoff didn't think Elsa could fight off a chihuahua puppy anymore, if she tried. Elsa was slumped deep in her seat, leaning her forehead heavily against the passenger seat window and gazing the passing scenery outside. She was breathing so evenly, that she looked like she was sleeping. Kristoff would have been sure she was, if it wasn't for her half-lidded eyes moving with passing buildings. Kristoff loved seeing her sister looking so peaceful, not like she carried weight of the world on her frail shoulders. Elsa looked more relaxed than she had in long time. Actually, Kristoff had only once seen her this relaxed, and it was the only time Elsa had drank. With that, his face darkened.

Kristoff wasn't too happy to be reminded of that day. It was the first Midsummer festival in which they had been eighteen. Kristoff's only other friend, Ryder, had invited him and Elsa into a party with his other friends. Apparently, one of his friends had huge crush on Elsa, like all the boys secretly did, and thought that was the way to get the known 'Ice Queen' come, too. Elsa had been hesitant, but Kristoff never got invited in the parties, and he really wanted to spend his first real Midsummer festival with other youngsters, but not without Elsa. After some sweet talk, Elsa had agreed.

It had all gone fine at first. They had made a huge midsummer pyre on one of the boy's summer cottage's yard and they were drinking beer and having fun. Well at least everyone else but Elsa. The drunken boys were trying to woo her, and try to get her to drink some, but she just wasn't interested in either. Neither of the siblings were really social, but sober Elsa had really stood out in the group like a sore thumb. Kristoff had tried to sit with Elsa as much as he could, so she wouldn't be too lonely, but it hadn't seem to work. Then the friend, who had crush on Elsa, had brought a drink for her. This time Kristoff had encouraged her to drink it. Maybe it would help her loosen up a bit and she would have more fun. _What harm could one can of cider do? _Well, one can might have been fine, but it hadn't ended there.

The alcohol had significantly loosened Elsa up. She hadn't drank more, but she was such a light weight. Not that she had been terribly drunk, but her usually cool demeanor against everyone had melted a little. Kristoff had even saw her laughing at some guy's joke. It was needless to say, that the boys had been smitten, and some of the girls had looked a little jealous of all the attention she had been gaining. Elsa had been comfortable enough to hesitantly accept an invite to prolong the night into a nightclub. Kristoff hadn't been sure he wanted to go, he had been in couple of bars before, and the scenery wasn't really his thing, but how could he have refused if his sister finally agreed to go somewhere.

In the club, Kristoff had quickly lost his sight on Elsa. Boy after boy had asked her for a dance and Kristoff went to play pool with Ryder. He had thought it would be all fine, the pool table was next to the entrance, so Elsa couldn't get out of the bar without him noticing, and so they had kept drinking and playing. But then one of the girls of the group had rushed towards them, pointed at the table behind the mass of people, and franticly explained that she didn't think everything was alright with Elsa. Ryder had tried to play it down, said his friends would take care of her, Kristoff shouldn't worry. But Kristoff did worry, he had stumbled his way to the table where the girl had pointed.

When he had seen Elsa, all the color had drained from his face. He had felt stone-cold sober in instant. Elsa was sitting between two guys, barely. Her head was leaning on the other guy's shoulder, that guy was gently patting her cheek, trying to wake her. The other guy had his left hand on her shoulder, keeping her hoisted, but his right hand had lifted Elsa's long skirt above her knees, and he was stroking her inner thigh, while kissing her neck sloppily. The table had been full of shot and cocktail glasses, and it was obvious Elsa had drank some of them, if not most. Kristoff had been seething with anger.

He had hoisted the guy, who had violated his sister, up and punched him in the face with full blow, warning him to ever touch his sister again. He hadn't stayed to see his handiwork, but instead picked up the passed out girl. Elsa hadn't even stirred. Kristoff had carried the droopy girl out of the club that had too loud music to let him think. He had started calling an ambulance, holding Elsa awkwardly with one hand. The girl who had told him about Elsa had came out and offered to make the call while he was holding Elsa. Also the bouncer had came, but there was nothing he could have done.

They had kept Elsa in the hospital for rest of the night, but she had been fine in the end. The doctors had been quite mad at Elsa for drinking like that with her hypofunctioning liver, but their mother had directed her anger towards Kristoff. Bulda had been too relieved that Elsa was fine to be mad at her, but Kristoff wasn't that lucky. She had yelled and Kristoff for letting people pressure her to drink, and that was the only time Kristoff had been scolded for not taking good enough care of his sister. Kristoff never dared to tell Elsa, that he had also encouraged her to drink. She hadn't seemed angry with what had happened at all, but Kristoff was sure she would hate him if she knew. Elsa didn't remember anything from that night.

"Why can't you seem to stay away from hospitals?" Kristoff asked. The memory of Elsa's alcohol poisoning had triggered all the memories of hear near-death experiences.

"Huh?" Elsa asked. The drugs made her normally fast brain go a lot slower. "But that's what I'm trying to do. You were the one insisting I stay in one." Elsa gave him loopy grin, which was so unlike Elsa, that Kristoff almost felt need to laugh.

But instead, he rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean. You ought to be more careful. I've said thousand times that you shouldn't listen music when you are biking alongside cars. Elsa, you could have died today. I was so worried, and mom was so worried. Jeez, it took me like an hour to persuade her to not to fly here with a first plain."

"Oh, now I wish I had died. Mom's gonna be hysteric", Elsa groaned. "And my leg is shit, do you thing one needs legs in afterlife?"

Kristoff was a little surprised to hear his sister curse and joke, but he wasn't amused, it was too soon. "Not funny, Elsa."

"Whatever", Elsa grumbled, and pressed her forehead back against the glass. They were quiet for a while.

"Should we get your medication now, for the pharmacy?" Kristoff decided to change the subject, when Elsa wasn't reacting the way he had wished for.

"I don't need it."

"Elsa. The pain isn't good for you." But Elsa didn't answer anymore. She let herself drift back to the sleep and they didn't speak for the rest of the drive.

* * *

Anna was sitting in front of her own door, on the hallway. She had successfully locked herself out of her apartment, when she had barely lived in it for hours. What should she do? She was in a new city, a new country even, and she didn't know anyone. Nearest person she knew, was her grandma, and she lived over an hour drive away. She couldn't call, because her phone was inside the apartment. And all of her money? Inside. She had knocked some of her neighbors' doors on the same level, but they were either gone, or ignoring her. Anna was starting to get desperate.

She was contemplating the idea of knocking every single door in the apartment complex until someone helped her, when she heard sounds down the stairway, where the front door was. There were at least two people, as they were talking to each other. She got her hopes up. _Was it her saving angel there_? When the pair came to her vision, one of them certainly looked like an angel. The girl spotted her immediately and cracked a loopy grin with half-lidded eyes. Her face was beautiful, despite being all bruised up_. Maybe she had fallen from heaven_. She was a delicate girl, getting carried by a man. Her hair, in a ponytail, was the purest color of platinum blond Anna had ever seen. She had her right arm in a sling and same side leg in a cast. It was middle of summer, and the girl was wearing high necked hoodie. At least she had shorts.

Anna was about to open her mouth when they finally reached her level, but then she saw the face of the man carrying the girl. _Oh no, it was just her luck. _He was the same man who had yelled Anna after he had tripped on one of her boxes on the hallway. He had asked her if she was raised in a barn and then yelled that someone could have gotten seriously hurt. She had thought him to be melodramatic, but seeing the girl he was carrying, she had to wonder if she had also tripped on some box. The girl was probably his girlfriend, and he had most likely already told her, how awful person Anna was. There was no way they were helping her out of this.

"Stop Kristoff", the girl ordered the man, Kristoff, when they were in front of her. "Who are you? Whatcha waiting for?" the girl then asked her. She sounded way more cheerful and polite than the rude man carrying her, who was now looking the girl with confused frown.

"She's our new neighbor. And she doesn't know how to not to leave boxes around a hallway for people to stumble to", Kristoff answered before Anna had a change. He sounded so cold, like Anna had personally offended him with her boxes.

That earned him an awkward slap on a shoulder from the girl with her hand that was hanging around his neck. "Kristoff, don't be rude!" And then she turned to Anna, with warm, lopsided grin. "So you're our new neighbor? Nice to meet you"

"I'm nice to meet", after the words left her mouth, she instantly wanted ground to swallow her. Anna hurriedly got up and fluttered of dust from her denim shorts. "I mean, it's nice to meet you, too. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that I'm somehow nice to meet—Wait, I don't mean that I'm not nice! I am nice, I try to be nice. Uh, I'm sorry, this is awkward. Not you! I'm awkward! Not that I mean I'm always awkward. Just when—no, I'm always awkward. It's—Let me start over, please." Anna was terribly embarrassed and her face was burning with shame. If her neighbors didn't hate her before, they hated her now. "So uh, I'm Anna, your new neighbor. It's very nice to meet you."

But the girl didn't seem fazed from her word vomit. She still smiled at her with that lopsided grin, which only seemed a little bit wider now. "Well, hey there, Anna. I'm Elsa. Why you were sitting there. That's your house?"

"Yeah, it is. I—umm—I forgot my purse there. My keys are there, and my phone, so…"

"Well, good luck with that. We gotta go now", Kristoff said, hoisted Elsa up a little, and started to make a move towards the stairway to the next level. But Elsa stopped him again.

"Kristoff, behave! I'm so sorry about my brother, he doesn't know how to treat a lady."_ Oh, so he was her brother then._ "Please, come to our apartment. You can call the landlord with my phone and wait there. I bet our couch is more comfortable than the floor here." Kristoff looked at his sister with shocked face. Maybe he just didn't know what human decency and hospitality were. _How could these two be siblings? Maybe Elsa had gotten all the social skills. _Anna followed them.

* * *

"Uh, Anna. I hope you're not afraid of dogs", Elsa quipped when reached the door for the sibling's apartment.

Anna, however, didn't have a change to answer anything, before Kristoff opened the door and huge, brown dog lunged at them. The dog quelled down his hype when he came to his owners, like he had sensed that jumping against them could cause an accident. The dog smelled Elsa first, who seemed to be troubled for not being able to reach out for the dog. Then he rubbed his head against Kristoff, whose hands were also occupied. Then the dog turned to her, seeming to forget all of his calm demeanor, and lunged at her with full force, knocking her down. Then he started licking at her face.

"Sven! Stop it, Sven! C'mere boy!" Elsa shrieked at the dog, but her voice sounded more amused than panicked. The dog listened her and trotted next to his owners. Then Elsa chuckled at her: "I'm sorry, Anna. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I actually love dogs! I always wished my parents would get me one, but they never did", Anna gave an unnecessary long answer, as always. Elsa just smiled at her. _She was so friendly!_

When they got inside the house, Anna observed the room. The walls were white and the parquet was light brown, like hers. The overall look of the area was quite light. There were white couch and armchair, the coffee table and dinner table were glass, kitchen cabinets, on her left, were also white. Anna liked the house, not exactly her style, but nice. The kitchen/living room area wasn't than much bigger than hers. But there seemed to be two bedrooms, unlike hers. That wasn't surprising, as she assumed that the siblings lived together. What was surprising, was how clean everything was. Two young adults, possibly students, lived there most likely together, and there were no dirty dishes or misplaced items on tables. She couldn't see a single speck of dirt. She wondered which one of the siblings was the neat freak. Anna's money was on Elsa.

After Anna had shut the door behind her, she turned to see Kristoff put Elsa down onto the couch. She had never seen anyone be laid down that gently, as if Elsa was a fragile porcelain doll. _Maybe she was, what did Anna know?_ When Elsa was comfortably slouching on the couch, Kristoff looked at her, amused expression on his face. Anna felt little confused, Kristoff had given Elsa weird looks multiple times during the time Anna had been with them. However, Kristoff didn't stay to explain anything, he just announced that he would get Elsa's wheelchair from the car, and left. Elsa just lazily waved him good bye. Anna had a feeling that she was quite bohemian, most likely painter or something.

Then Elsa threw her phone to Anna, so carelessly, that Anna almost dropped it. She suggested that Anna would make the call for the landlord now. Anna complied, but quickly remembered, that she had no idea of her landlord's number. Elsa told her that it was in her contacts, so she started scrolling down them. Well, it was surprisingly short list, eight names in total, actually: Dr. Storhøi, Dr. Johaug, Kristoff, mom, Olaf, Pabbie, Ida Ullmann, and Agnes Torp. Anna had never seen as short contact list in her life. _Maybe Elsa had new phone and had lost all of her contacts._ Anna picked Torp's number and called.

* * *

Kristoff was surprised by the sight that greeted him in the apartment. Elsa was laying lazily on the couch, like a normal person, not like Elsa. Elsa usually sat back so straight it hurt Kristoff's abdominal muscles too. She was also teasingly poking Anna's, who was sitting next to her, thighs with her toes. Anna had said something funny and Elsa snorted at her, actually snorted! Kristoff almost felt jealous, he was used to be the only one Elsa teased and giggled with. But how could he be jealous, when his sister looked so happy. Plus she was probably high as a kite.

"That is hilarious. But you should have seen Kristoff's face, when our foster brother, Olaf, peed on his bed. On purpose!" Elsa yelled the last sentence of her story, burst into laughter, and looked at Kristoff. Anna joined her.

Kristoff felt defensive. He slumped on the armchair and pouted: "It wasn't fair. I was always super nice to him, I still am."

"Aww. Don't pout Kristoff. He doesn't hate you, he just likes me much more!" and Elsa giggled some more. Kristoff kind of wanted to have some of Elsa's stuff, it was making Elsa giddy as a little girl.

"I don't even get why. You basically ignored him for a whole year when he first came. I tried to play with him and teach him stuff, and still all he could babble about, was how warm and nice person you are. Then the one time that I refuse to budge from the PlayStation and let you play on your turn, he pees on my bed as a revenge! How is that fair?" Kristoff exclaimed, sounding offended. It had been too long ago for him to actually be offended about it anymore, but he pretended for the sake of the story. It worked, and both of the girls started laughing more hysterically. _Anna was actually quite beautiful when she laughed. Elsa was too, of course, but Anna was in different way._

"You two seem to have hilarious childhood together. I wish I had siblings like you", Anna breathed out, after she calmed down a little.

Kristoff could see Elsa's smile falter and he was afraid that the drugs could make her reveal something she would regret later. Elsa really didn't seem to have a filter. So quickly Kristoff blurted out the first change of topic he could come up with: "So, when will you get your keys back?"

If Anna was puzzled by the sudden change, she didn't show it. She just smiled warmly: "She said that she would come to open it at some time, today."

"I wouldn't hold my breath. Kristoff has tested that 'some time, today', and it can mean at midnight. Where were you going anyway?" Elsa butted in.

"Oh, just to the University of Science and Technology, I came here to study for engineering. I was supposed to go there to see places and stuff. But my buss card is also in my purse, which I forgot to take, so yeah." Anna answered happily.

"Oh, I study architecture there. We're basically study buddies, now! I would like to show you places, but you know—", Elsa said and lifted her right leg to emphasize her point. "But Kristoff can take you there with a car, and then he'll bring you back. Right, Kristoff?"

"Really?" Anna sounded so happy.

"Wait? No, I can't leave you alone, Elsa. The doctor said—", Kristoff started, but Elsa didn't let him finish.

"Sure you can. You'd have to get my medicine from pharmacy anyway. I'm a big girl, I can stay home alone for couple of hours."

"You said you didn't want that medicine."

"I didn't say such a thing. I really need that medicine now. I'm in horrible pain." While Kristoff didn't doubt that being true, he knew for sure that Elsa wasn't going to use the medicine for her pain. But there was no arguing with her, when she was like that. And Anna's confused and unsure face was enough for him to let this drop. Elsa could survive for couple of hours alone, she was too stubborn to die.

Also, when he looked at Elsa, she look positively exhausted, like she could barely stay awake anymore. Maybe it was for the best to leave her to sleep the drugs away, alone. Kristoff just hoped this wasn't one of those decisions he ended up regretting, and sighed in defeat: "Fine, whatever. Do you want me to carry you to your bedroom?"

"No, I'm fine here. I'm just gonna watch some TV", Elsa answered, words almost slurring. _Sure you will watch TV._

"Fine, call me if you need anything. C'mon Anna, Sven, lets go."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** Hey there! Thank you all for your support. I hope you've been enjoying the story so far. This chapter is more about Anna, so if you were wondering about her and her family, you are in luck! Enjoy, and leave a comment! :)

* * *

The drive to the university was quite awkward. The silence hung heavily on the air. Anna had tried multiple times to lure Kristoff into a conversation, but he hadn't take the bait, yet. Maybe sandwiches and old paintings weren't really Kristoff's thing. Talking about those had worked with her ex-boyfriend Hans. But then again, Hans was as fake as a three dollar bill. _Should she try talking about dogs?_ Anna glanced Sven helplessly, she knew nothing about dogs, just that they were cute and smart. Maybe she should try talking about Elsa, instead. Kristoff seemed to care about his sister, and Anna would love to hear more about her new neighbors lives. She was sure Elsa and she would become great friends, and maybe even Kristoff would eventually warm up to her.

"Your sister is dope", Anna wanted to smack her forehead. _Gosh, that sounded stupid. 'Your sister is dope' who says that? _Anna didn't seem to be the only one, who thought she had sounded ridiculous. Kristoff immediately burst into laughter. Even Sven looked like he might start laughing.

"Oh my gosh, Sven. Did you hear that? She called Elsa 'dope'", Kristoff managed between the fits of laughter. Sven barked at that, it seriously was like the dog was actually laughing too. Then Kristoff started to calm down a little. He took a deep breath and said with a smirk: "My sister has been called many things, but dope isn't one of them. I love my sister, I do, but she's the most uptight person I know."

"She seemed pretty chill to me. Maybe you just haven't met that many people to compare her." Anna crossed her arms and huffed. She didn't like to be laughed at.

"Of course she seemed chill! Elsa was high as a kite", Kristoff exclaimed.

"She's a junkie?" Anna blurted out. Her hands immediately flew to her mouth, that wasn't right thing to say. And judging by Kristoff glum face, he didn't look amused either.

"Don't you ever call my sister a junkie again", he warned, and Anna just nodded eagerly. "And no, she's not a drug addict. If you didn't notice, Elsa had itsy-bitsy problem with half of her limbs, and she just woke from a surgery."

"If she just woke up from a surgery, shouldn't she be in, you know, in hospital, or something?" Anna asked, feeling quite skeptical.

"Well, try to tell that to her. Elsa hates hospitals", Kristoff sighed.

"Why?"

"She was really sickly child and spent a lot of her childhood in them. I don't really like to talk about it", Kristoff's tone was cold and dismissing, so Anna decided not to push the subject any further.

"Anyway, I don't care what you say. I'm an excellent judge of character, and I say that your sister is really nice and chill person. You're just trying to make her look less friendly to uplift your own status, mister", Anna teased, thought that didn't mean she didn't actually think so.

"Chilly would be closer to the term people usually use for her, but whatever you say", Kristoff's tone was amused, but he felt a little blue. He wished that Anna and Elsa could be friends, but he knew that the friendly-Elsa Anna had built in her mind, was buried too deep within Elsa's icy walls. Anna was too bubbly and warm to handle Elsa's coldness.

Anna just rolled her eyes and poked Kristoff slightly with her elbow and then grinned toothily. She didn't have time to say anything, however, because they arrived to the campus. Kristoff gave Anna his number, and told her to meet him there in an hour. Then they parted their ways.

* * *

Anna and Kristoff were walking around the campus with Sven, enjoying the summer breeze. Kristoff knew he should go back to check on Elsa. Especially since she hadn't answered his message, he had sent fifteen minutes ago. But Sven needed some exercise, and Elsa was probably sleeping anyway. His sudden need for a walk didn't have anything to do with how nicely his conversation with Anna was rolling. It was strange how comfortable Kristoff felt. He had never had real conversation with any other women than his sister and his mother.

"So, how it is to live with Elsa? Do you fight a lot? Don't all siblings fight?"

"It's nice. We have always got along just fine. We never really fight. Neither of us is really confrontational, I guess, so we'd just rather not to fight", Kristoff explained.

"Wow that must be so nice. If I had a sibling like that, I probably would have stayed in England with him or her. We could have even become roommates like you two, too!" Anna threw her arms into air and accidentally hit Kristoff on the jaw. "Oof! Sorry!"

"It's fine." Kristoff rubbed his jaw. "Wait. You're not from Norway? I wouldn't have ever guessed."

"Nope! I'm born and raised in England. But both of my parents are from Norway. They were childhood friends and then they fell in love and decided to move into England to study, and then they just stayed there. It's all very romantic." Anna said dreamily. "So I kinda did the same, but other way around. Well, without the childhood sweetheart. I just needed to escape my parents."

"Escape your parents?" Kristoff was horrified. _Was this sweet girl abused as a child? Could it have been something similar to Elsa? Maybe that was why Elsa had been so friendly earlier, maybe she could somehow sense the shared experience._

"Oh no! Nothing like that! I can see from your face what you are thinking, but I wasn't abused or anything as a child. My parents are lovely, and I love them dearly." Kristoff sighed in relief. It hurt him to think about little girls suffering, like Elsa had been. And it would pain him greatly to think this happy and bubbly girl had to endure anything like that. In a way, Anna reminded him of Elsa. Anna felt kind of like Elsa's path not taken. With a normal childhood, Kristoff thought Elsa could have become as carefree and cheerful, instead of being wary and anxious. "They're just the worst case of helicopter parents. They were always terrified that something bad would happen to me. I wasn't allowed to go out of our house at all, when I was a child. Not even to school. I had tutors helping me through my compulsory education, and my parents were always breathing down to my neck. I didn't have any friends through my childhood. I was so lonely, I started talking to the paintings on our walls. It's no wonder I fell in love with the first guy, close to my age, I met."

"Wait. You fell in love with the first guy you met?" Kristoff asked, shocked.

"Yes, pay attention. He was one of my tutors, and only twenty. Hans was so handsome", Anna said dreamily.

"Only twenty? How old were you?" Kristoff asked suspiciously. He seriously hoped that the romance happened when she had been seventeen and not fourteen, or something.

"Uh, sixteen?" Anna scrunched her nose cutely while thinking about the answer.

"Wow, that's way too young, don't you think?"

"That's what my parents said too!" Anna exclaimed. "Well whatever, he turned out to be huge jerk, who just played with my feelings. He left me after taking my virginity. I cried for weeks and when my parents figured out what had happened, my father looked like he was going to kill Hans. I never saw Hans again, after that. I think my father managed to send him back to Denmark, where he's from. But that heartbreak made me realize that I couldn't live like that anymore. I love my parents, but I need to live a little too. I knew that I'll have to go and see the world after I turn eighteen, and my parents can't force me to stay. So I decided to find my roots, and applied the university here."

"So, how did your parents take it?" Kristoff asked, conversantly. Even though he wasn't sure he was comfortable with the amount the girl was sharing.

"Uh, I didn't really tell them. Not before I already had plain tickets and my grandmother called my mother to make sure that my coming was all set up." Anna felt little awkward to reveal how she had handled her parents. _But there was no way they would have let her go, if they had knew earlier._

Kristoff was flabbergasted. _How could anyone do that to their parents?_ His and Elsa's move to Trondheim had been hard for Bulda as it was, and they had talked about it a year before graduating. "You didn't tell them yourself that you were going to leave for another country? Jeez, I would have killed Elsa, if she did that to me."

"Excuse you, Elsa's your sister. I don't think you have any say to her decisions", Anna said, frowning a little. That was quite weird thing to say about one's sister. _Well, what did Anna know? She had no sister, or friends with sisters_.

"Whatever", Kristoff grumbled_. There was no point of arguing about that. Anna didn't know Elsa, she didn't know that Elsa needed Kristoff to watch over her. She didn't know how Elsa needed someone to remind her to take her pills at the morning, and talk to her doctors about her treatments, and over all take care of her. _

"Well, yeah, anyway. Mother came to ask me, why her mother thought I was going there to study and I had to admit that I was indeed leaving in couple of days and I was going to study in Norway. At first they forbade me from going, but when I told them they couldn't stop me anymore, mother started crying. It was pretty horrible actually. I've rarely seen my mother cry, but there she was, on her knees, pleading for me not to go to Norway. I didn't even know they hated Norway that much. It's such a beautiful country. I felt terrible for leaving like that, but what was done, was done. I wasn't going to back down from my life anymore. So yeah, here I am", Anna ended her story with a sheepish tone, and pushed her bangs behind her ear. Then she gave a shy look to Kristoff, to see his reaction.

"Woah, that's quite a story, feisty pants. I think you were quite brave. I mean, that was utterly stupid, but brave", Kristoff breathed.

"Eh, I guess it was. But how about you and Elsa? Are you from here?" Anna decided to change a subject. She had talked enough about herself. _People were supposed to listen others too, right?_

"Oh no, we're from small town, quite near Tromsø. There's no fascinating story about overprotective parents and secrets. Elsa wanted to study for architecture and the school here is the best, so we decided to come here", Kristoff explained dispassionately, like the move had been easy and without any problems. That's how Kristoff wanted to remember it, he didn't like to go into harder details.

"So Elsa wanted to study here, but what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Yeah, you. Why did you come here? Are you studying too?"

"Oh no. School was never really my thing. Elsa's the smart one in our family. I'm working in construction sites here. There's more work here, and I didn't want Elsa to go alone."

"You two seem to be very close", Anna smiled warmly.

"Yeah, we are", Kristoff smiled back. Then he looked at the time on his phone. "Talking about my sister, we should really head back. I've left her alone for way too long. C'mon Sven, lets go", he said and pulled the leash gently to gain Sven's attention.

* * *

Kristoff, Sven and Anna were closing towards the level Anna's house was at. There they saw their landlord waiting impatiently for Anna. Mad that none of the three young adults hadn't answered the phone. She opened the door for Anna and stormed off, muttering something incoherent. Anna just shrugged and grinned at Kristoff, her cheek with tint of pink.

Kristoff felt like he should say something to prolong their time together. He felt so ease with the new neighbor. Feeling so rare for him with a stranger. It had been quite awkward, time to time, but not in totally uncomfortable way. For the first time after meeting Elsa, he felt like he actually wanted to get to know someone. It was strange how the tables had turned just in hours. At morning, Kristoff had yelled at the girl for leaving those boxes lying around, and now they were smiling to each other like old friends. He felt bad for judging Anna so wrongly earlier, and he knew he should apologize. It had been rough morning. The phone call from hospital had woken him up at ungodly hour and yet again he had feared for his sister's life. Kristoff knew it hadn't been fair to yell at the poor girl like that, though. Elsa's accident hadn't been her fault. But Kristoff wasn't good with apologizes.

"Uh, so—I was wondering, would you be interested—I mean, would you like to— if you would like to come walk Sven with me tomorrow morning. I mean, you don't have to! I'm not trying to make you our dog sitter or anything! I just—it's—we usually do these things together with Elsa, but I doubt she's gonna feel up to it tomorrow. I mean, you totally don't have to. I understand perfectly if you would rather—"

"I would love to come", Anna stopped Kristoff's rambling. She bared her white teeth with a beautiful smile, clasped and squeezed Kristoff's hand and then let it go. She squatted to give Sven good petting and then bid her farewell before disappearing into her own apartment.

Kristoff stayed there for a moment, unsure what to do next. He had basically asked a girl out, and she had accepted!

"What have I put myself into, Sven?" Kristoff asked the dog who just tilted his head a little. Then they kept walking towards their own apartment.

* * *

"Elsa?" Kristoff called after taking his shoes off at the entry and dropped the bag from the pharmacy. The area was quite dark, since the curtains were halfway, blocking most of the sunlight from outside. He could see the Elsa's feet poking to his vision from the couch. He walked towards the couch and peered from behind it to see the girl laying on it.

For a moment, Kristoff felt panic rising in him. Elsa was still as a corpse, not stirring even the littlest while Kristoff was observing her. Usually Elsa was such a light sleeper. But then he could see the slow rising of her chest and he heard a tiniest little snore coming from her slightly opened mouth.

Kristoff smiled, despite himself. Then he crossed the couch to be on its other side. There he took Elsa gently into his arms. The girl didn't show any signs of waking up, so Kristoff carried her into her room. He laid the sleeping girl on her bed and tucked her lightly under her covers. Then he tenderly kissed her forehead and told her to sleep well. He closed the door as quietly as he could, on his way out, even though there probably wasn't any reason to be quiet. Elsa was out cold.

And she stayed like that for the rest of the day. Kristoff, on the other hand, used his day playing videogames on PlayStation, and hanging with Sven. He both dreaded and waited for the morning walk with their bubbly, new neighbor, whom he couldn't seem to get out of his mind anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N** Ught, I'm having sort of writer's block. Last two chapters have been quite hard to write. It takes me whole week to get these chapters, while the easy ones only take a day. I hope you enjoy reading this more than I enjoyed writing it :D PS. Answered some of of your questions in the end of the chapter. Feel free to leave a new one in this chapter, I still love reading those, they really help with my motivation.

* * *

Getting herself on a wheelchair was a struggle for Elsa. She could hear Kristoff doing something in the kitchen, but didn't want to bother him. She wasn't helpless, she could help herself into a wheelchair. The throbbing pain on her broken limbs was almost brain numbing, but she had to push through it. Elsa hated how the opioids made her feel so out of control. She cringed for the hazy memories of her hanging around with their new neighbor. The memory was quite dreamlike, and she still held some hope that it didn't really happen.

After Elsa managed to get herself on the chair, she realized a new problem: she only had one hand to use. Elsa groaned, feeling annoyed. She clumsily pushed herself towards the door with a beeline, since it was impossible to go straight when she had to change the side she was pushing all the time. She threw the door open clumsily, but didn't get far after that.

"Elsa! What are you doing?" Kristoff yelled from the kitchen, and rushed to help his sister move around. "Why didn't you ask me to help you?"

"I can do it myself, I didn't want to bother you," Elsa muttered. She hated feeling so helpless, it reminded her of her childhood, and how depended of Kristoff she had been. Elsa felt like she never fully paid back to Kristoff for that. _She was just as useless as she used to be._

"You could never be nuisance for me, you know that," Kristoff said softly, and wheeled Elsa to the dinner table.

On dinner table, there was a glass of water and handful of various pills. It was kind of funny, that even after all these years, Kristoff felt the need to remind her to take her pills. Elsa was more capable with organizing and keeping routines, but still Kristoff laid her pills on the table for her every morning. She didn't dare to say anything against it, even though his babying sometimes annoyed her. Elsa wasn't a little girl who needed her mother to remind her to take her medication, anymore. But like often, Elsa was too nervous to argument about the thing with Kristoff, in fear he would realize how worthless of his help she truly was. Elsa couldn't ever have reached so far in life without Kristoff's help, and she knew she would be lost without him guiding her. Kristoff wasn't confrontational, and Elsa wanted to appease him.

So Elsa kept her mouth shut and counted her pills, like she always did. It's not like she was feared that Kristoff forgot some, he never did, but Elsa just had that nagging urge to count the pills nevertheless. Today, there was one pill, she didn't recognize. She took the strange, white pill in her fingers to examine it. "Kristoff, what is this pill?"

Kristoff leaned to see what pill Elsa meant. She hold it for Kristoff to see. He just shrugged and answered with nonchalant tone: "It's the medicine I got for you yesterday. For your pain, remember?"

Elsa scrunched her nose and put the pill down, far away from her other pills. "I don't want it."

"Elsa—", Kristoff sighed, feeling weary from Elsa's protesting.

"They make me feel more horrible, that this pain ever could," Elsa stated. She still shuddered from the memory of her last night's vivid nightmares. Elsa wasn't up to another round with them. She was sure the medicine had caused them, and it had been sheer luck that she hadn't screamed in her sleep and woken Kristoff up.

Then she turned her attention back to her pills, and started popping them in her mouth. When she finished the last one, there was a knock on the door. Elsa glanced a clock. 6.30 am. Who would bother them at this hour? She looked up to Kristoff, and instead of looking confused, he looked sheepish.

"Who is it?" Elsa asked slowly with cautious tone and narrowed eyes.

Kristoff awkwardly rubbed his neck. "It's just Anna, our new neighbor. I asked her to walk Sven with me this morning, since I thought you wouldn't be up to. I'll better let her in," He said and started to edge towards the door.

"Kristoff, don't you dare. Have you seen what I'm wearing? What were you thinking? You could have warned me! You better let her wait, until I've rolled myself back to my room," Elsa huffed and desperately tried to move herself back to her hiding place.

"Elsa, it's fine. You look fine. I'm sure Anna wouldn't mind. She already saw you yesterday with—," Kristoff started, but Elsa's murderous look made him stop. He just sighed and helped her back to her room, before opening the door for Anna.

"Hey! I hope I'm not too late," Anna said cheerily the moment Kristoff opened the door. "It took so long for you to open this door that I thought you already left."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry about that." Kristoff rubbed his neck, and made way for Anna to come in.

"So, where's Elsa?" Anna asked, while walking into their house. She didn't walk far and peered around the room, looking for the blonde girl.

"She's in her room," Kristoff answered. His attention was on his shoe laces.

"Oh, should I go to say hi to her? Which room is hers?" Anna asked, looking at her own foot wear. _Should she take them off, after all? _Concerning how clean it was in the house, Anna didn't think she would be allowed to walk there with her shoes on.

Kristoff's head shot up. "Oh no! That's not necessary! Elsa—she's not really a morning person. Really grumpy! It's better if we don't bother her at all," Kristoff rushed to explain, with little colored truth. Elsa actually was a morning person. But saying that Elsa just didn't want to see Anna, like at all, seemed unnecessary rude for Kristoff.

"Oh, okay," Anna felt little disappointed. She wasn't sure why. Maybe she had subconsciously wished to see the blonde.

Kristoff clipped the leash on Sven's collar and asked: "So, you're ready to go?" And with that they left. Leaving Elsa sitting on her wheelchair, head pressed longingly against her door.

* * *

The walk had gone nicely. It was surprisingly easy for them to get along. Kristoff wanted to hang out with the gorgeous redhead more. It was strange feeling, he wasn't accustomed to. But he needed to make up an excuse to see her again, before she disappeared behind her door.

"Hey, would you like to come to watch a movie with me and Elsa this evening?" _Elsa was going to kill him for this._

"I'd love to!" _Worth it, though. _

"Oh great! Just a warning though, Elsa usually gets to choose the movie, and that means Disney movies. I can try to get her to choose something else, but I can't promise anything." Kristoff rubbed his neck to ease up his nervousness.

"Oh no, that's totally fine! I love Disney movies!" Anna squealed.

"Oh, great then. It's a date. I mean not a date date, but uh—you know. You know?" Kristoff rambled.

"Yes!" Anna didn't seem to mind his ramblings. "So uh—I haven't really have movie nights before. Am I supposed to bring something? Popcorn, crisps, soda, beer—?"

"No alcohol!" Kristoff yelled suddenly. Then he blushed and stammered his explanation with lower voice: "I just mean, that we don't really have alcohol in our house, ever. It's just—Elsa doesn't drink, so I don't have any in the house. It's not rule or anything, she wouldn't mind, but I rather not have any alcohol near her."

Anna squinted her eyes for this. The realization hit her that Elsa must be an alcoholic. But she had learned from her misfortunate usage of word junkie yesterday, and decided to keep her mouth shut this time. It was rare occurrence that she succeeded keeping he foot out of her mouth.

However, Kristoff seemed to read her mind and see her train of thoughts, since he hurried to explain more: "Elsa doesn't have an alcohol problem, or anything. I mean she has problem with alcohol, kind of. Her body just doesn't tolerate it. One or two beers wouldn't probably be any danger for her, but I rather don't take any risks when it's about her health."

"I understand. You are a good brother," Anna smiled. Then she suddenly reached up and kissed Kristoff gently on the cheek, before disappearing into her own apartment. There she leaned against the closed door and squealed with joy, trying to keep herself quiet.

Kristoff on the other side was blushing hard. He was flabbergasted from the redhead's actions. She had called him a good brother, and Kristoff seriously hoped that Elsa would also see him as one, after this night.

* * *

"Pretty pleaseeee?" Elsa begged sweetly.

"Elsa, we're not watching another Disney movie," Kristoff stated.

"But they're my favorites," Elsa pleaded with her puppy-dog eyes. She didn't lie, Elsa loved Disney movies. She had ever since Kristoff had showed her one. Elsa hadn't been allowed to watch them as a little child, she wanted to make that up.

And how could Kristoff deny that from her sister: "Ught fine. But not Tangled again," Kristoff groaned.

"Okay, not Tangled," Elsa agreed and started searching a movie from her phone, but not without flashing Kristoff her brightest smile.

The smile sure made it worth it. Kristoff just hoped their quest would really be fine watching children's movie. He had warned her that Elsa would most likely choose one. He just hoped she hadn't been humoring him, when she had said she liked Disney movies.

Then there was musical serial of knocks on the door. Elsa shot her head up and gave Kristof questioning look. Their door was rarely knocked, and this was the second time of that day. Kristoff gave Elsa a sheepish grin, yet again, and rubbed his neck.

Elsa narrowed her eyes and frowned. She spoke in low, even tone with small edge on it: "No, you didn't, did you?"

"Eh, I might have invited Anna to watch the movie with us. It's going to be fine, fun even!" Kristoff assured her and started moving towards the front door.

"Kristoff. Kristoff no!" Elsa hissed after him, but it was too late. He opened the door, and let the bubbly girl in.

Anna greeted Kristoff cheerfully and dropped down to her knees to pet Sven. Then she removed her converse and got up. She walked towards the couch and greeted Elsa, who was sitting on the armchair, shyly: "Hey, Elsa." She even lifted her hand a little for small wave. But when Elsa didn't answer, she got a better look at her.

Elsa sat on the armchair, her injured leg lifted on a footstool. She had a phone in her good hand and shocked face. But what she was wearing, was near the cutest thing Anna had ever seen. It was blue Stich one-piece with ears and everything. Elsa had the hood covering her head, and her platinum hair laid in loose braid on her shoulder.

"Oh my gosh, Elsa! That one-piece is so cute!" Anna squealed, her both hand pressing her own cheeks. But instead of thanking her for the compliment, Elsa pulled the hoodie down so quickly it almost ripped. Her cheeks were the color of crimson and she looked mortified. Elsa ran her hand through her hair, looking embarrassed. Then she made quick glance to her left, where her wheelchair was. Then she looked desperately her injured limbs. Wheelchair again. And then she seemed to give up and slumped down to her seat.

Kristoff decided to interrupt that awkward moment. "Okay, here's the popcorn! What are we watching today?" He said and sat on the side of the couch that was next to his sister's armchair. Then he subtly motioned Anna to join him, and she sat down next to him.

"Bird box," Elsa blurted out. There was no way she was going to embarrass herself any further by admitting that she still watched Disney movies. But since she knew nothing about other movies, she chose the one she had heard other people talk about. Anna seemed like the kind of girl who liked popular things. "Or have you seen it already?" she then asked Anna, making slight eye contact, before averting her eyes away.

"Me? Uh, no. I haven't. But I'd like to," Anna stammered with her words. She seemed surprised.

"Great," Elsa answered with her normal, cold voice. Kristoff quirked his eyebrows a little to Elsa, most likely from the surprising movie choice, but didn't say anything. Elsa kind of wanted to smack that smug smile from his face. _How dare he bring some girl here, without even warning her, when he knew that she was dressed in that embarrassing one-piece._

* * *

Watching the movie with company, was extremely uncomfortable for Elsa. It had only been fifteen minutes, but Elsa felt so self-conscious, that she could barely concentrate on the movie at all. _Not that it really interested her anyway. _It was barely tolerable for her to sit there. She would've given everything just to be able to get up and leave. It was actually getting more unbearable than the hazy memories of her embarrassing herself with the same girl, or her vivid nightmares.

Anna seemed to find the movie entertaining though, and Kristoff seemed to find Anna entertaining. Kristoff had been staring Anna for a while now, and that made Elsa feel even more uncomfortable. While she was watching her brother's lack of tack disapprovingly, she saw something odious was about to happen.

"Put it on a coaster, please."

Anna halted her movement. Her glass was almost on the table when Elsa's voice stopped her. Even though her words weren't unkind, her voice was freezing cold and didn't left it unclear that she wasn't asking, but ordering. For some reason, Anna felt almost like crying. She put the coaster under her glass and slumped back to her seat, feeling like a child caught with a hand in a cookie jar. She felt confused. Why was Elsa so cold towards her? Had Kristoff really spoken truth about his sister? But she had seen that sweet girl, who had chastised Kristoff for being rude, and offered her own phone for Anna to call. She knew that girl was buried somewhere inside, she was just hiding. Anna didn't believe that drugs or alcohol changed people, they just removed the barriers people had made between their nature and society. Anna didn't know why Elsa was hiding her kindness, but she was determined to break that barrier again.

"Kristoff, could you please get me my medicine. My leg is killing me." _Well, that wasn't exactly what Anna had meant by breaking the barrier. She wanted to do it while Elsa was sober._

Kristoff, on the other hand, felt conflicted. He didn't doubt the pain Elsa was feeling, but he also knew that it wasn't the pain she wanted to medicate. Judging her rigid posture, Elsa was extremely uncomfortable, and she wanted the opioids for their relaxing effect. He wanted to rush to get Elsa the medicine now that she was finally willing to take it. Pain wasn't good for a person. But then again, he didn't want to encourage Elsa's behavior of suppressing her negative emotions with drugs.

Suddenly he noticed that he had been quiet so long, that even Anna was looking at him with curiosity. Not wanting to make a scene, he got up and got the pill Elsa was asking for. He filled a glass with water from the tab, and brought it to Elsa. He gave the pill first, since she had only on hand. While dropping it on Elsa's hand, he gave her stern look to tell her that he knew what she was doing, and didn't approve. Elsa looked at him and swallowed anxiously, before dropping her gaze and popping the pill in her mouth. Then he offered the glass, but Elsa didn't make eye contact again. Kristoff sat back down with Anna.

* * *

"I really liked the movie!" Anna exclaimed, when end credits rolled in.

She had been the only one enjoying the movie though, but Kristoff eagerly agreed with her, nevertheless. It wasn't that the movie had been bad, or maybe it had, Kristoff couldn't be sure. But Elsa had fallen asleep shortly after swallowing the pill and was still currently sleeping, and Kristoff hadn't been able to pay any attention to the movie when Anna was sitting so close to him. It didn't help any, that Anna was quite touchy when she got scared. And Anna seemed to be almost as skittish as Elsa, which meant she had hold onto his quite a lot during the movie.

"I think I should go to my own apartment now," Anna said, quieter this time. She nodded towards sleeping Elsa.

Kristoff wanted to object, but decided better of it. Elsa needed her rest. So he reluctantly saw Anna to the door and bid his farewell. Then he turned his attention to the sleeping girl and walked in front her.

"You are the worst wingman ever, Elsa," Kristoff muttered with slight smile on his face, and picked Elsa up.

She didn't stir, and Kristoff carried her to her own room, like he had yesterday. He didn't bother to change her clothes before tucking her in. She looked so peaceful sleeping like that. Kristoff couldn't have even a slightest hunch on what kind of nightmares were plaguing his sister's mind in her sleep.

* * *

**A/N**

Guest: I get that you're not really fan of Kristianna, and unfortunately you, I have to say that there's definately going to be some of it. But don't worry, since I'm not really a shipper either, it won't be my main focus in this story.

vic2118: I think I can answer that one. Romantic relationships aren't really my main focus here, so I don't think I'm spoiling anything when I'm telling that Elsa won't have a love intrest in this fic. At least not with the storyline I'm currently following.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N **This chapter was surprisingly easy. I actually used more time with troubling what parts to keep than getting stuff written. This is actually the only chapter that I have removed fully written scene from. You'll get to see what kind of nightmare's have been troubling Elsa, though it was never meant to be secret, it just didn't really matter at the time. Otherwise this chapter is mostly about Elsa's feelings and troubles. Please, enjoy and let me know what you think!

* * *

_The pain was insufferable. Hot tears were burning her bruising cheeks. She knew that if she could just reach that knife on her right, she could end her own suffering. Its blade was glistening in moonlight. Not because of the clean steel, but because of her own blood on it. _

_Elsa needed to reach it, but her hands were tied down. Fighting against the restrains hurt her, but not as much as staying still did. She needed to get that blade, she was running out of time. She concentrated all the energy she had left to her right arm, and surged it towards the knife with all her might. It broke the restrain. _

Instead of reaching the knife, pain jolted in every inch of Elsa's being. She screamed on top of her lungs. The sobs chocked her. The only thing she could concentrate, was the throbbing pain threating to drive her insane. She couldn't even hear the door open, or someone rushing to her side. In her world, nothing else but that pain existed.

"Elsa! Elsa! What happened? Did you hurt your arm? Do you need me to call an ambulance? Elsa!"

_Her arm!_ That's where the pain originated. She took a hold on her injured, limp arm, and again the pain jolted through her body. She tried her best to quell her sobbing and even her laboring breath. It was just pain from the rash movement of her injured arm, nothing else had been true. _Expect it had, and Elsa knew it. _Those dreams she saw, weren't just fractals of her imagination, they were her memories. Her memories were twisted in her nightmares to be never ending torture with no escape.

But she had escaped. Her reality was now in this very room. The only pain she felt, was the unfortunate injury she had suffered because of the biking accident. Sure it was intense pain, but nothing she couldn't survive. She was safe here._ But why had the dream felt so real then? Why didn't she feel safe?_

"Elsa, please! Tell me what to do? How can I help you? Do you need a doctor?" Kristoff's voice was desperate, but he was anchoring her into the reality, pulling her away from her nightmarish haze.

Elsa managed to shake her head. Then she broke into another fit of sobs. She was trying her best to manage her pain. _Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. _Her old mantra came back to her. It always did in moments like this, when she completely lost her control. She tried her very best to not to feel the pain. She tried to distance herself away from it, it wasn't her pain at all, it wasn't even her body. It was an old trick she had learned in her childhood. Sometimes things got too much for her to handle, so she didn't handle it. She just left her body to be hurt and abused, but it couldn't touch her mind, her mind wasn't there.

Unfortunately, Kristoff's voice was still anchoring her. It was like a chain that was preventing her mind to leave her body. "Elsa, what happened? Please, tell me what to do."

"I'm fine," Elsa managed to croak through clenched teeth. "It's just my shoulder. I moved it in my sleep," she told between gasps of air.

"It's your nightmares, isn't it? They're back," Elsa casted him a shamed look that told him everything he needed to know. "You've have had them a while now, haven't you Elsa? Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"It's not a big deal. They're just dreams," Elsa downplayed. The pain was finally quelling down and she could stop sobbing brokenly. Her breath was still ragged, but she was positive she could soon gain her control back.

"No they're not. We both know that," Kristoff scolded her lie. "And this time it was bad enough that you hurt yourself. I know that you don't usually move in your sleep."

"It was Tickler." It was small sentence, but it told Kristoff everything. He didn't know a lot of the details of Elsa's past, he had been too young back when they had gone through all the legal procedures with Elsa. But Kristoff knew Tickler. It was one of the few names, though it was no name at all, Elsa had revealed to him.

Tickler was the one, Elsa feared the most. Elsa never told him specifically, what Tickler had done to her. But concerning what he knew about Elsa's past, it had to be something unimaginable terror for Elsa to dread him the most. Tickler was actually so out of conversations that Elsa had even refused to tell what had happened to him after the trials. When Kristoff had been old enough to talk about those things with their parents, Bulda had told that all the ones Elsa had made testimonial against, had either gone to jail or they had died before. But even she didn't know what happened to Tickler specifically, since Elsa refused to give any light in which one he might be. She couldn't even be sure, that he had ever been tried.

"Shh, Elsa," Kristoff hushed and took his trembling sister in his arms. He kissed top of her head softly and tried to mind her injured arm. "You're safe. You're safe here, I promise."

"I know," Elsa whispered with broken voice. The declaration didn't stop her from shaking like a leaf. She buried her head deeper into Kristoff's chest. Elsa felt so safe, surrounded by Kristoff bigger body. Kristoff was the only man who had ever made her feel safe, and she loved him for that.

"C'mon, Elsa. Let's fix that sling of yours," Kristoff said, and helped Elsa to sit up properly. Then he helped her to get her arm into the sling like it should be. It stung Elsa's tender shoulder and her throbbing wrist, but the pain wasn't unbearable anymore.

"Kristoff, what time is it?" Elsa asked softly.

"It's almost five. I don't think either of us is getting any sleep anymore," Kristoff smiled at her with small, lopsided smile. Elsa pursed her lips, corners tucking slightly upside, and shook her head cutely with agreement.

"Okay then, I'll help you to the shower, and then I'll make some coffee." Elsa stuck her tongue out a little to express her disgust. "And hot chocolate for you. You're such a child, Elsa," Kristoff teased. Elsa pouted at him, she humored him with her grumpy child act.

"Okay, kiddo, what clothes you wanna wear today?" Kristoff asked and opened her wardrobe. With Elsa's guidance, Kristoff chose a peach colored turtleneck and a dark, waist-high, knee length skirt with flower pattern. Kristoff thought turtleneck was bit much for warm summer day, but he knew how much Elsa hated to show skin, and who was he to tell his sister how to dress. He also picked her clean underwear, but without looking in the drawer. He gave Elsa her clothes, and then lifted her up.

Kristoff carried Elsa past the living room area, all the way to the bathroom. There he put Elsa on the shower seat they had gotten her from the hospital. He enfolded her leg cast with plastic wrap to prevent it from getting wet. Then he filled up a bucket to make it easier for Elsa to clean herself. He dropped the sponge in the bucket for her. Normally Kristoff would help Elsa out of her sling, but after the morning incident, he was afraid her shoulder was too sore for that.

The most awkward thing was left: undressing. Kristoff helped Elsa out of her Stitch jumpsuit. Neither of the siblings said anything, nor did they make any eye contact with each other. Both of them would have rather been anywhere else, but the job had to be done. Elsa detested being undressed in front of others. Honestly, she could barely stand her own naked skin when she was all alone. But seeing Elsa only in her underwear, wasn't a treat for her brother either. Elsa was really attractive young woman, and she had great body with beautiful, milky skin, but Kristoff had never been attracted to her. Elsa was his sister, and only his sister, he would rather never see her anywhere near naked.

Kristoff put Elsa's clothes on the sink near by the shower. Then he left Elsa alone in the bathroom to undress herself from the rest of her clothes and to clean herself.

* * *

Kristoff put Elsa down on the chair in front of a dinner table. It was small glass table with only two chairs. But lately, Elsa had wondered whether Kristoff would try to fit a third one. Elsa adjusted her position quietly, after Kristoff let her go. She hated that Kristoff carried her around the house, it was humiliating. She would've preferred rolling around with the wheelchair, but Kristoff barely let her use it. Elsa knew to keep her mouth shut, though. She would need Kristoff to help her on the wheelchair and push her around anyway. So it was for the best to keep her ungrateful thoughts to herself, and let Kristoff help her the way he saw fit.

Her pills were already on the table, like always. She counted them, like always. And when she came to that white little opiate, she hold it in her fingers. She wanted to crush it in her fist. If she could walk, she would get up and pour that whole stupid bottle to the drain, and never see those awful pills ever again. She was sure it all was its fault.

She didn't remember the dream anymore. While showering, she had managed to lock it back to its own tiny room inside her mind, where she held all the memories from Tickler. She had other small rooms too, for all the moments that were too painful for her to handle, but Tickler's room was the biggest. It held all of her memories from him. That stupid opiate was like a key to the locks in her mind, and it made her remember at night. This night it had opened Tickler's door, and that was the end, she would never put that pill in her mouth again. She pushed it as far as she could.

"Are you sure? I thought that your shoulder and wrist would be really sore this morning," Kristoff asked with concerned tone.

"It's fine," Elsa stated firmly.

"Okay, if you say so." Kristoff put down a cup of hot chocolate, a plate of unappealing fried egg, and an orange he had cut in pieces. "Here, I made you breakfast."

"Thank you," Elsa murmured softly and started to eat. She didn't complain about the taste. She had learnt that if people did nice things for her, she said 'thank you', and didn't look inside the mouth of a gift horse.

Kristoff sat down and started devouring his own breakfast. He had never known how much Elsa was doing around the house, until she couldn't do anything anymore. Elsa always made all the meals for them, cleaned the house, did the dishes, and did their laundry. Elsa had offered to keep doing what she could, but Kristoff had insisted that he would manage everything. He was starting to regret that choice. It didn't help any that everything had to be polished for Elsa. She didn't henpeck or anything, but if somewhere was a speck of dirt, Elsa started looking utterly miserable and apprehensive. He couldn't stand to see Elsa so distressed.

"These meds doesn't do a thing," Elsa suddenly broke the silence. She had her anxiety med in her hands, Kristoff noted when he lifted his head up to see what she was talking about. He was a little surprised that she still had the pill, usually she would have eaten it my now.

"What do you mean? They're your anti-anxiety medication," Kristoff explained in case Elsa didn't remember what the pill was.

Elsa halted her movements for a second. Irritation briefly flashed through her, and she had urge to snap at Kristoff, to remind him that she knew her own medication just fine. But Elsa knew she had to be a good girl, and not bite the hand that was feeding her. So she bit her own tongue instead and answered with an even tone: "Yes, I know that. But I don't think it's helping any. I'm having these nightmares and I feel anxious all the time."

Kristoff was a little taken back with Elsa's confession, she rarely admitted that she wasn't feeling well. "Of course they are helping, Elsa. You're just having a rough patch now. Two years ago you would've been jumping on the walls because of the stress you're now enduring. But if you think they're not helping enough, talk to Dr. Johaug about it the next time you see her."

"Do I still need to see her? Haven't you told mom that I don't need therapy anymore, like we agreed to?" Elsa groaned. She really wanted Bulda to stop wasting her money on Elsa's useless therapy sessions.

"I did, and she said what she always says: 'I'll stop paying for these sessions when Elsa is confident enough to confront me about it herself'. You know you should tell her that you don't need the therapy anymore yourself. Or then you could just stop going, if you hate it so much."

"Elsa sighed and pushed her half-eaten, cold egg away. She had completely lost her appetite. "You know I can't stop going if she's paying, that's just rude and wasteful. I really appreciate her effort on helping me, I just hate talking about my personal things with some doctor."

"You could just tell that to mom," Kristoff offered, like it was the world's simplest solution.

"I can't—I don't—I just can't," Elsa tried to explain her mind, but she couldn't. Kristoff couldn't possibly understand what it was for her. She just wasn't capable on disagreeing with her mother if she was face to face with her. _Wasn't all children supposed to be submissive towards their parents? Why was Elsa's meekness treated as a disease, as a flaw in her code?_

* * *

Elsa and Kristoff were watching cartoons on the couch, Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner to be specific. Elsa loved cartoons, they made her feel like the child she never got to be. Kristoff agreed to watch them because it humored his sweet sister. Plus it was kind of entertaining to watch a coyote to try to blow a road runner with TNT. And on the best days, he got to hear Elsa giggle childishly when something funny happened. _She was such a child. _Unfortunately, today wasn't one of those days.

A melodic knock on the door interrupted them. Elsa knew who it was, and so did Kristoff, since he almost ran to open the door. Anna was on the door, as she had been every morning for the past couple of days, waiting for Kristoff and Sven for a morning walk. Elsa used to hate to be forced for those walks, as she hated walking outside. Walking was so slow, and made it possible for her to be hyper aware of her surroundings. Elsa much preferred running or biking. But lately, she couldn't help but feel envious towards Anna. She wasn't sure if she was actually jealous, or if being afraid was a different thing.

She was terrified, to be honest. Anna was taking her big brother from her. Anna didn't know, how much Elsa needed Kristoff to function, and she was taking him. Kristoff didn't care if Elsa spent time outside, anymore. Kristoff was slowly losing his interest towards Elsa and her well-being, only Anna fitted in his world. Soon, he would realize, what a waste of space Elsa really was, and Elsa wasn't sure how to please Kristoff anymore. She couldn't even pull her own weight around the house. Kristoff wasn't sexually interested in her, and that was the only thing she had ever kept men's interest in her, before. Not that she was sure she could ever go down that road again. Anna was like a better version of Elsa, undamaged. _Why would anyone ever choose the shadow over light?_

"Good morning Elsa!" Anna cheerfully waved at Elsa. Unknowing of Elsa's bad blood against her. Why did Anna still smile warmly like a spring sun to her icy fortress? Trying to melt down her icy walls. Bulda had once told Elsa, that she should smile more because her smile light up the whole room. Well, Anna was just like that, and she wasn't prudent with her smiles.

"Good morning," Elsa muttered. She didn't ran to her own room when Anna came, anymore. But that didn't mean she had stopped being outwardly hostile. She tried to be as nice as she could, because that was what Kristoff wanted, but Elsa wasn't a friendly person. She guessed her nature was to be friendly, because she felt so guilty all the time, but she just couldn't be approachable. The walls she had built around her to keep her safe, were too thick for her to break, even if she wanted to.

Elsa feared Anna would supplant her. That Anna was going to devour everything Elsa was, and take her place. Elsa couldn't understand, why Anna made her feel like that. It was as if there was a strange connection between them. She felt strong pull towards the girl. It honestly scared her. Elsa had to push Anna away from her before she stole Elsa's life or even worse, made Elsa need her. Elsa couldn't have any more people to be depended for. She already was such a burden to her family, Anna didn't need her weight on her frail shoulders. Elsa knew that, but why it was so hard not to smile back to Anna, when she was looking at her like that?

"We're going now. If you need anything, call me," Kristoff quipped her and kissed her head for a farewell. Annoyance flashed again in her. She was an adult woman, she would survive an hour alone, in her own home, and she didn't need a babysitter. Elsa bit her cheek to punish herself for those thoughts. _What was wrong with her, today?_

"Yeah, sure. Have a nice walk you two," she dismissed them, like the blood inside of her wasn't boiling with jealousy. Elsa wasn't exactly sure, which one of the two she actually was jealous of. Well, that didn't matter. It was wrong, nevertheless. _She was wrong._

* * *

"Are you courting her now?" Elsa broke the silence.

"Elsa, no one uses the term courting anymore. Where are you from, the Middle ages? It's dating, now," Kristoff sounded amused. Elsa could be strangely proper at times. She often used terms like 'may' and 'pardon', especially when she was upset. It made her sound weird when she was talking like that amongst family.

"Well, do you? Date her, I mean?" Elsa asked. She tried to sound more curious than jealous.

"I'm not sure. I think it's too soon for that. But I really like her, Elsa. I think we might have a change in a future," Kristoff confessed and glanced her. Only briefly, as he was concentrating on the rom-com they were watching. "Does it bother you?"

"I—wha—pardon me?" _There it was, 'pardon'._ "Of course it doesn't bother me. All I want, is for you to be happy," she would have been more convincing, if it wasn't for her high pitched and frantic tone. But she wished her words had been true, she wanted to be that kind of sister, that kind of person.

"I can see that something bothers you," Kristoff stated, matter-of-factly.

"It's all fine, everything is fine," Elsa muttered.

For some reason, she felt sob building up in her throat. Elsa didn't do crying, and she definitely wasn't going to cry over her brother's possible girlfriend. _Why was she so weak and worthless?_ Kristoff would never stay with her, if he knew how greedy she was being, how she was jealous of the girl he was seeing. Elsa was disgusting, repulsive even. She owed everything to the Bjorgman's, and still she had audacity to feel entitled for Kristoff's attention. She was just stupid, stupid little girl who had overstayed her welcome. How did she have nerve to slow Kristoff down in his live? _Why was she such a burden?_

"Could you help me to my room, please? I could really do with some rest," Elsa asked quietly, she wasn't able to meet Kristoff's eyes. She was too ashamed of herself and her thoughts.

"Elsa, is everything fine?" Kristoff sounded worried.

"Yeah, sure. It's just that I didn't really sleep well. I'm really tired. I would like to go to my room now, please."

"Yeah, of course. I'll help you right away," Kristoff said and got up. He carried Elsa to her room and sat her down to her bed. "Is everything good now? You need something?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you," Elsa murmured. She dismissed Kristoff by turning to her side, leaving her back to Kristoff.

When she heard the click of the closing door, she dived her picture from under her mattress. Then she took sir Jörgen Björgen in her arms and started tracing the picture. She had traced her mother's face so many times, that the picture had started to disintegrate from there. She couldn't help it. Whenever she was upset, instead of crying, she would just lay hours on her bed with her stuffed animal and the picture, trying to find some comfort from her mother.

Sir Jörgen Björgen and the picture were the only things she had gotten from her old house. She never went back there, but she had asked the detectives to bring her those. Sometimes Elsa just needed them to remind herself who she was. She would never be a Bjorgman, not truly, she would always be Elsa Weselton by heart. No matter how much she wished to change it. But still, she wasn't sure she had found out who Elsa Weselton really was.

"Oh mother, where do I go from here?" she whispered softly to the picture, despair evident in her voice.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N** So yeah, I definately made a mistake in the last chapter. I wrote that Kristoff helped Elsa out of her Sticth jumpsuit, but that chapter happened couple of days later than the chapter before, so it's unlikely she was sleeping with that again. I actually wrote pajamas at first, but then Elsa froze my brain or something, and I "fixed" it. I'm sorry if you got confused with the timeline there.

This chapter is Anna-chapter. It's a little shorter one, and quite dialogue-heavy, but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. As always, please leave a comment to tell what you think, and see you the next time!

* * *

Anna knocked the door and waited. She heard a low bark inside of the apartment, and then footsteps. Soon Kristoff opened the door with a warm smile. He looked a little surprised to see her. But before he had change to ask anything, Anna pushed inside the house, a laptop in her arms.

"Kristoff, you have to help me. This report for amendment is driving me crazy!" Anna whined.

Kristoff gave a strange look at her bare feet before looking at Anna's face with amused expression. "What are you talking about, feisty pants?" Kristoff chuckled.

"I have a pile of papers—Well not really papers, as they are on my computer. But anyway, pile of them. And I have no idea what I'm doing. You have to help me with these!" Anna demanded.

"I'm sorry Anna, I don't know anything about those things," Kristoff answered sheepishly.

"But you have moved, and you live here without your parents. You must have done these before," Anna was desperate, there was no one else who could help her.

"Elsa manages all the paperwork for us. I'm hopeless with that stuff." Anna was disappointed. Elsa hated her, there was no way she was going to help her. If Kristoff could read minds, he had dyslexia, because: "I'll ask Elsa to help you." _Oh no._

"No, no it's fine. We don't need to bother her with this. I'll figure it out," Anna tried awkwardly look like she was nonchalant about it.

"Nonsense, you said you needed help. Elsa will know how to help you. Wait here for a moment, I'll get her." Anna tried to protest, but Kristoff was already going towards Elsa's door. Anna was just awkwardly waiting at the entrance while Kristoff knocked Elsa's door and entered in it.

Soon, Kristoff was pushing his sister out of the room with her wheelchair. Elsa had lavender colored turtleneck dress, with long sleeves and flowy hem almost down to her ankles. It was nice dress and the fabric seemed to be quite light, but it was really hot day and Anna was sweating in her own, much skimpier, yellow summer dress.

Elsa didn't seem to be hot, but her expression was sour. _Great!_ The last thing Anna needed, was for Kristoff to force Elsa help the girl she despised. But then Elsa lifted her head and looked Anna. Her face seemed to lose its displeased look. _Wait, was that a smile? The corners of her mouth were definitely slightly upwards! Was Elsa giving her a face that made her look like she was even a little bit pleased to see Anna? Oh gosh, was Elsa stoned again?_

"Hi," Elsa said softly. Anna had never heard her sound like that. It wasn't the overly enthusiastic way she had talked the first time they had met, but it wasn't the cold but polite way she usually talked to Anna. It was soft and warm, like she was talking to a friend. _Wait, was she really talking to Anna? Did she think Anna as a friend now?_

"Hi? H-hi me?" Anna stuttered and pointed her chest to ask if Elsa was truly talking to her. Elsa just smiled a little wider. _Yeah, now it definitely was a smile. _Then she nodded to confirm Anna's assumption. Anna felt a need to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't sleeping. _Elsa was being nice to her! And not only with her usual polite way, but just for sake of being nice. Maybe nice wasn't right word, Elsa never was unnice. Friendly! That's it, Elsa was being friendly._ "Umm, hi!"

"I like that dress. You look really beautiful," Elsa complimented her. _Seriously, what was happening? Did Anna choke on her own hair at night, die, and woke up in different universe?_

"T-thank you. You look beautifuller." _Oh no, that didn't come out right, did it?_ "I didn't mean fuller! You don't look fuller! I meant more—more beautiful." _Great, Anna. If Elsa didn't hate her before, now she surely does._

But Elsa only chuckled, not looking mad at all: "Thank you." Then Kristoff pushed her all the way to the dinner table. She nodded towards the chair, inviting Anna to join her. "Shall we?" Anna rushed to sit next to Elsa, she didn't want to make her wait. It was quite awkward, since the table was so small and they didn't comfortably fit on the same side of it. She tried to not let that bother her, and put her computer on the table.

Kristoff bid her farewell, took Sven, and left for a walk. When he was gone, Anna looked at Elsa and said: "I don't know what Kristoff told you to do, but you don't have to help me." It didn't feel right to force Elsa to do anything, even though she could really do with some help.

"Nonsense, I'll help you. Let's start," Elsa's voice didn't leave room for an argument. Anna was a little disappointed that Elsa didn't say that she wanted to help her, but that was still better than nothing. Anna opened her laptop.

* * *

"I think this is all ready," Elsa said and leaned back in her wheelchair.

"Wow. Thank you so much. I don't think I could have done this alone," Anna said, genuinely.

"Yeah, I don't think you could have. I thought you were going to study as engineer. And looking at this mess, I have to say, that this doesn't look so good for you," Elsa said with fake seriousness.

Anna shoved Elsa slightly on her shoulder, careful not to hurt the delicate girl, and exclaimed: "Hey!" Elsa just grinned teasingly back.

_Elsa was teasing her! The Ice Queen was being playful and fun!_ Anna was seriously starting to believe that she had woken up in a wrong universe. It was so nice, just being like this with Elsa. Anna almost craved Elsa's friendly company more than Kristoff's. Something in that girl was pulling Anna towards her like a magnet. It wasn't romantic attraction, Anna knew that for sure. She had been attracted to couple of women before, well celebrities but still. While Elsa was undeniably beautiful, Anna didn't feel that way about her.

Maybe it was Anna's need to impress Elsa. She was definitely interested in Kristoff and she knew that Kristoff valued Elsa's opinion, so she wanted Elsa to like her. _That's completely normal. People want to impress their significant other's parents all the time. Why would it be any different with a sister?_ It had been hard to get in Elsa's good graces. The more Anna tried to get close to her, the more Elsa seemed to push her away. Trying to reach for Elsa was like petting a fish.

Today, she had gotten the first glimpse of sunshine. Anna wanted to hold onto it. "I wish it could always be like this."

Elsa smiled at her warmly at first, but then her face fell. She lowered her head and sighed deeply, looking sad. "I think you should go home now. I have work to do."

"Do you want me to push you into your room?" Anna asked. She felt a little confused for the sudden mood change.

"No, that's not necessary. See you later," she dismissed Anna without even looking at her.

"Oh, okay," Anna felt more than little upset and disappointed, but she wasn't going to insist. She just got up and walked to the door. She casted one more look towards Elsa, but she hadn't turn to see Anna leaving, so Anna opened the door and left with soft 'bye'.

* * *

Anna was laying on her twin sized bed, in her cramped bedroom. She was playing Pokémon Sapphire on her old Game Boy, when her phone started ringing. Her mom was trying to Skype her. Anna glanced around the room that was full of dirty clothes and just plain trash. She took her phone and ran to the kitchen/living room area. The counters were full of dirty dishes, but the area near to her couch was relatively clean.

She jumped on the couch and accepted the call. "Hey mom!" she greeted breathlessly.

"Hi honey, that took long. Were you doing something? I can call later," Iduna's slightly glitching face spoke to her. It was so nice to finally see her mother. They had only texted since she had come to Norway. Her parents were always so busy.

"Oh yeah, I was just playing Pokémon in my room, and didn't hear the ringing," Anna explained, just a small lie.

"So, how was your day, sweetie?" Iduna asked with her sweet and gentle voice. It was almost like she was at the dinner table with her parents, talking about her day at home.

"Nice, I went a walk with Kristoff and Sven at the morning," Anna started telling about her day.

"Kristoff is that neighbor of yours that you have talking quite a lot lately?" Iduna asked, her voice had a slightly accusing tone.

"Yes."

"Is he the same one that made you almost cry on your moving day, when he yelled at you because of those boxes?" _Why did her mother have to have such a great memory when it came down to anything even remotely unpleasant?_

"Yeah. But it wasn't really his fault, mom. He just had really bad morning. And I did leave my boxes in the corridor for him to stumble on," Anna defended.

"Do you like him?" _Give a girl a break mom, will you?_

"Yeah, kinda. It's too soon to really say, but we always have nice time together."

"Please, tell me this isn't another Hans-thing again. How old is he and what he does?"

"This is nothing like with Hans. Kristoff's really nice and reliable person. He's 21-years-old, and he works on construction site. He's a great guy, mother," Anna said.

"He works? So he doesn't study. Don't you think you should maybe look for someone in your school, when it starts? I'm not sure that some manual worker would suit you the best," Iduna patronized.

"Hans was academic. You want me to find someone like that, mom," Anna was getting a little irritated, and it showed.

"Okay, point taken. Let's change a subject. What else did you do today?"

Anna took deep breath to calm herself, before continuing: "I finished all that stupid paperwork. You know, for the move and stuff."

"All by yourself. Was that a smart thing to do? What if you filled them out wrong? You should have waited for your father to be able to help you," Iduna scolded.

"Father was taking forever, I needed to send them. Besides, I didn't do them alone, Elsa helped me. She's like super smart."

"Honey, who's Elsa?" Anna was pretty sure she had mentioned Elsa before. Maybe she hadn't said anything inconvenient about her, so her mother didn't remember.

"Oh yeah, she's Kristoff twin sister, I think," Kristoff hadn't called Elsa his twin, but she was pretty sure they were both 21-years-olds. "I actually thought she hates me until today."

"How could anyone hate you? You're the sweetest girl out there."

"You're my mom, you're obligated to say that," Anna grinned. "But I don't know. She was like super nice to me the first time we met. She's the one who invited me in her house and loaned me phone and told Kristoff to drive me to the campus and back, when I left my keys at my own apartment. But then Kristoff told me that she was actually highly medicated, because she had just been in surgery after a nasty biking accident. After that day she has been so cold towards me. I mean, she's really polite, and never outright mean, but it's just like she can't stand to have me around. Except today, when she was helping me, she was really sweet," Anna rambled.

"So they live together with Kristoff," Iduna asked and Anna nodded to confirm. "So they're most likely really close. Maybe she's just wary of you, because you show interest to her brother."

"I don't think so. Kristoff said that she's cold to everyone. Well everyone except her family. I feel like I had the first glimpse of how she's with Kristoff today. It was so nice. I just want her to like me."

"You just have to be yourself, honey. She will come around, no one can stay away from you. You're such a sweetheart," her mother smiled at her.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. But how are you and dad doing?" Anna asked. Though she already knew the answer.

"Busy. You know, work like always. I really got to go now. Take care, Anna, and stay safe. I would die if something were to happen to you. You remember, that you can come back to home whenever you want to. We love you so, so, so much," it looked like saying this hurt Iduna. It was easy to see how worried she was for Anna

"I love you too. Send my love to dad. Bye, mom," Anna said and ended the call. She closed her eyes and hugged her phone.

Anna didn't even notice the tears threating to run down her cheeks. She felt a little homesick and missed her parents so much. She had been a lonely child, but this was such a different type of loneliness. She had Kristoff to keep her company time to time, but the house was just so empty. There were no housemaid around cleaning her mess, nor her parents scolding her for making it.

It wasn't quiet in the flat, but the noises were made by strangers she never met. It was like they weren't even there. No one was around to tell her what to do all day long. Nobody cared how she took care of herself. It was strange for her. Kristoff worked at most of the days, and she had no other friends. Anna was even waiting for summer to end, so she would have something to fill up these empty days of loneliness.

Elsa was just upstairs. Laying on the couch with her broken limbs all day long. She was all alone too. If only she would accept Anna's company and they wouldn't have to be so lonely. Nobody wanted to be left alone, so why was Elsa being so distant? Anna just wanted some friends. It was so hard to be in new country all alone, after living her whole life inside one house and with someone always breathing down to her neck.


	13. Chapter 13

"Bjorgman," a doctor announced to tell it was Elsa's turn. A male doctor.

Elsa and Kristoff both froze. There was only the two of them and some middle-aged man in the waiting room. There weren't really other options who else he could mean than Elsa. Bjorgman wasn't that common surname. The doctor quickly scanned the empty room and walked towards them.

"You're Bjorgman, right?" he asked Elsa, making intense eye contact. Elsa's whole face drained from blood and her mouth was uselessly gaping with shock. She tried to stammer an answer, anything, but only managed to make strange, high pitched squeak.

Kristoff rushed to help his sister out, after his initial shock wore of: "We requested a female doctor."

The doctor looked displeased. He frowned his sparse, grey eyebrows, wrinkling his forehead. He actually looked a little scary for Kristoff too, he couldn't even imagine how Elsa was feeling. "We don't have enough doctors to please every single whim you people have. I'm just removing her cast, it's not like I'd be thrusting my fingers up to her vagina or anything," he said with annoyed tone.

Elsa shuddered, she was getting extremely uncomfortable. She couldn't handle even vaguely vulgar words and even less any sexual innuendos. The doctor was way too close to her and she felt like his presence was sucking all air out of her. His own air was weighting Elsa down, like she was a useless fragile sand castle that crumbled under the tiniest pressure. Elsa was shaking like a leaf, and she felt hot tears burning in her eyes. She held her head low, trying to stop his stare from wounding her. She didn't cry for sadness or pain anymore, but the unadulterated fear like this still made her eyes involuntarily spill out fat, salty tears. She hated her own weakness, now more than ever. She didn't want to show that man what an utter failure she was.

"That was extremely uncalled for, and highly unprofessional. I'll make a complaint of you. Elsa has right to choose her doctor, and she wants a female one. We know our rights," Kristoff was fuming._ How dared that man treat his sister like that? Why was there people like him in a work where they were supposed to help people?_

"Whatever," the doctor huffed. Then he stopped a female nurse passing by: "Hey, Rebekka! Remove this girl's cast from the right leg."

"But I have—," the nurse started.

"I don't care if you're busy! Do it now," he barked at her, and stomped off.

The plum nurse turned to them, and smiled kindly. She spoke to Elsa, who was still hanging her head low, with reassuring tone: "Don't mind him, he's just an old grumpy man." Then she lifted her head and looked at Kristoff. "Let's go to see that cast in the room, shall we?" She nodded towards the room the doctor had came from, and Kristoff pushed Elsa's wheelchair into there.

The nurse looked Elsa's records and x-rays from the computer and then started removing the cast from her leg. She was extra gently, as she could clearly see that Elsa was still on verge of tears. Kristoff was holding Elsa's hand, whispering reassuring words to her ear, and running comforting circles on the back of her hand with his thump. Elsa kept quiet.

"Okay, all done. Remember that your leg is far from healed, it just doesn't need the cast anymore. There's metal inside of your leg, keeping the bones together. But your leg can't manage walking yet. Usually I would say, that you could start walking with it by taking the weight off of it with crutches. But that isn't possible, since your wrist is also injured. But good news is, that we can take your sling of. Your shoulder fracture has healed beautifully. I bet you can't wait to have that awful thing of." With that, Elsa lifted her head up, and gave the nurse a shy smile. Elsa was like a puppy, she seemed to melt all the hearts with a tiny smile.

The nurse helped the sling off, and Elsa tried the ranges of her arm's movement. "Be careful, it's still healing," Rebekka warned. Elsa pursed her lips and put her hands quickly on her lap, like child caught doing something naughty.

"That's better," Rebekka said with a chuckle. "Come here the next week, and we'll see what to do with that cast on your hand then." Elsa's face lit up like a Christmas tree for the idea of being cast-free in a week.

"Can we get ice cream to celebrate my newfound freedom?" Elsa asked Kristoff with an uncharacteristic smirk.

"Of course, princess, we can do whatever you want to," Kristoff chuckled and kissed his sister's temple.

"You could ask Anna to come too," Elsa added shyly.

Kristoff was beyond pleased to hear that. It was the first time Elsa had initiated association with Anna. Before this, it had always been Kristoff bringing Anna to Elsa, or Anna trying to gain Elsa's attention. For the over two weeks they had known Anna, Elsa had actually seemingly want nothing to do with her. She has tolerated her presence, but nothing else. Though Anna did say that they had great time filling those applications.

"Let's go and get Anna and Sven then," Kristoff grinned like a fool.

* * *

"Okay, what flavor do you girls want then?" the young guy in the ice cream booth asked with a wide smile.

"Chocolate!" Elsa and Anna breathed out simultaneously. Then they turned to see each other and giggled softly, but awkwardly. A shade of pink covering their cheeks.

"You two are sisters, I can see that," the boy chuckled, darting his eyes from girl to girl to confirm their similarities.

"Oh, no! We're not sisters," Anna rushed to explain and Elsa softly shook her head to invalidate the boy's guess. "I wish we were though! But we're just friends." Again Elsa showed her agreement with Anna by nodding her head.

"Oh, you two look kind of similar, though." All three of the customers gave him quizzical look. "I mean, if you ignore the hair color and stuff. You have similar face structure and stuff," the boy muttered the ending, looking embarrassed.

"I guess you're right. If we colored Elsa's hair red, you two could easily be sisters," Kristoff helped the poor guy out. He didn't really think they looked like each other at all, but maybe they could with same colored hair.

"Or maybe I could colour my hair blonde! I love your hair Elsa, it would be such a shame to colour it," Anna gushed.

Elsa flushed red for the compliment and stammered out: "I love your hair too. You shouldn't color it either."

"I think you both have really beautifully colored hair, no coloring needed. Here's your ice cream," the boy smiled with an easy smile and offered their ice creams. Elsa's face turned even redder and Anna basked with the compliments. Kristoff paid for the ice creams, grinning at his girls.

When they were out of the boy's hearing range, Elsa giggled behind her hand: "That was so awkward. His rambling reminded me so much of the first meeting with Anna. You two would make a perfectly awkward pair. Maybe you should ditch my brother?"

"Hey! I'm not like that at all," Anna protested firmly. Elsa and Kristoff both turned to look at her with meaning gazes. "Okay, maybe I am, but don't pretend that you haven't ever embarrass yourself by rambling like that," she pointed at Elsa.

"I don't ramble," Elsa stated simply, with straight face.

"Elsa doesn't ramble," Kristoff echoed his sister.

"Gah-lee, Kristoff! You should be on my side!" Anna exclaimed dramatically.

"Sorry, babe," Kristoff chuckled and playfully hugged her with his left arm to his side. Anna blushed crimson red for the new pet name. Elsa glanced at the pair knowingly, locking eyes with Anna for a brief moment.

* * *

The group walked along the river of Nidelva. Elsa rarely enjoyed these kind of casual evening strolls around the city, but today she was in a great mood. The day wasn't terribly hot, which was great for Elsa, since she had to use clothes that hide most of her skin. It was for two reasons: Elsa's skin was really sensitive and it burned just by her thinking about going outside. The other reason was that she couldn't stand sight of her own naked skin and she liked it even less, when other people looked at her.

Elsa loved winter, when she could hide every inch of her skin. She had learned to tolerate heat quite well, but people would always look at her weirdly when she was wearing a turtleneck, or something similar, when it was burning hot day. She kind of missed her home in Tromsø, where it was rarely hot enough for people to look twice at her attire.

Today, luckily, wasn't one of those days anyway. The day was quite cool, with sun half-way hidden behind the clouds. Elsa enjoyed the chill summer breeze and closed her eyes. She just let Kristoff push her wheelchair, and for once, enjoyed the ride.

Anna was walking next to her, she didn't seem to enjoy the cool weather like Elsa. They had finished their ice creams some time ago, and the cold comestible probably hadn't helped any. Anna was shivering in her spaghetti strap, green dress. This was the part, where the boy would give his jacket to the girl in a movie, but Kristoff was only wearing short-sleeved shirt.

Elsa sighed deeply and removed her own loosely knitted, long and grey cardigan. Then she offered it to Anna: "Here, you look really cold."

"Oh, Elsa, I couldn't. It's really chilly out here, then you would be cold," Anna said, even though she was really tempted to take the cardigan.

"The cold doesn't really bother me. Just take it," Elsa said, with a tone so regal and commanding that it was hard to believe that the meek girl on a wheelchair could make it.

Anna took the garment and put it on her, still feeling some of Elsa's warmness radiating from it. She felt instantly better, mostly because how much Elsa's gesture warmed her heart. She thanked Elsa full-heartily and Elsa just smiled back at her.

Elsa didn't dare to turn to see her brother, because he knew how much the gesture really meant to Elsa. She didn't want to make it a big deal, but it was. It wasn't the cold that was a problem, but that Elsa had only sleeveless, button-up blouse under the cardigan. It was the first time she was in a public place with her arms showing since she was a child still living with her father. She felt so naked and insecure, but the breeze actually felt quite nice on her uncovered skin.

"Shouldn't I be the one giving jackets to Anna? Elsa, are you trying to steal my girlfriend?" Kristoff broke the short silence with a teasing tone.

"Yeah, you suck at this. You need your sister to take care of your girlfriend. You need to start brushing up your boyfriend-skills, Kris, or that ice cream booth boy really starts to have some changes," Elsa turned her head to see her brother and grinned.

Anna managed only lightly chuckle at the teasing. She was too stuck with the term 'girlfriend'. It was the first time either of them had used a label on their relationship. Anna guessed, that now it was official, she was Kristoff's girlfriend. And the best part was, that Elsa seemed to approve. Anna didn't know how her day could have gotten any better.

* * *

**A/N** A little shorter chapter again. I don't really have much to say about this one. I hope you liked this chapter, let me know your thoughts, they're always appreciated. See you the next time, and stay safe!


	14. Chapter 14

There was a slipper between the door and the doorframe. Anna was unsure if that meant she was welcome to just walk in. Inside, there was Kristoff's voice, talking hurriedly with someone, but no answer was heard. She hesitantly knocked the door. She tried to be as gently as possible, and not to disturb the strange slipper.

"Anna, come in! The door is open!" Kristoff called from the apartment. Anna hesitated, their morning routine had never differed much. This was strange for her, but eventually walked in nevertheless.

"Arght, this is all wrong," Kristoff muttered, holding Elsa's hair. He was standing behind the couch which Elsa was sitting on, playing with her hair. "—No mom, I didn't meant that. I'm just trying to tie Elsa's hair but I can't concentrate right. This shit—I'm sorry, mom—this crap is hard, I don't know how girls manage with hair like this all the time," Kristoff spoke to the phone resting between his shoulder and ear.

Then Kristoff turned to look at Anna standing awkwardly at the doorway. He gestured her to come to him, and Anna hesitantly complied. When she was standing next to Kristoff, behind Elsa, Kristoff gestured Elsa's hair and mouthed her to finish it. Anna pointed her chest unsurely, and shook her head. Kristoff just showed her doubts off with his hand and mouthed that it was fine. Then he started walking towards his own room, continuing his conversation with the person on his phone.

Anna stood awkwardly behind Elsa, and Elsa tuned to look at her quizzically. Anna gestured awkwardly Elsa's hair and asked with shaking voice: "May I?" Elsa just nodded softly, and turned her head so Anna had better access to her hair. "A bun?" Anna asked. It was easy to assume, since she had seen nothing but a bun on Elsa since the Stitch jumpsuit incident.

Elsa seemed to ponder her answer for a while, and then she said: "Could you make a French braid?"

"Yeah, sure. That's what you want?" Anna asked with wavering voice. _Why did this have to be so hard and awkward?_

"Yeah, I kind of feel like having a French braid. Kristoff can only make a regular braid, but I like the French one better," Elsa confirmed with a nod.

"Okay, I'll make one then," Anna said stiffly.

Then she took the comb that Kristoff had left on the back off the couch, and started brushing Elsa's hair. The silky tresses felt like warm sea waves going through her fingers. The silvery locks were glistening with the early morning sun rays filtering through the curtains. It all was so alluring that Anna wished to press her cheek against the platinum waves and fall asleep like a little child against her mother's shoulder.

Silence was easy with Elsa, much easier than speaking. It felt just right to be like this with Elsa. Brushing her hair and doing other girly things she could have done with Elsa, if she had been her sister when growing up. She actually felt a pang of jealousy towards Kristoff. Why did Kristoff get to have Elsa as his sister, and Anna didn't? Then she immediately regretted that thought. Kristoff was sharing his sister with Anna, letting Anna have something she always wished to have. How could she envy Kristoff, who was being so generous?

Was it weird, to want to share one's boyfriend's sister? Because Anna definitely wanted. She really liked Kristoff, and thought he might be the one, but she had this weird feeling with Elsa, that they were meant to be. Was it possible to be a soulmate with someone she wasn't romantically interested in? Because she had never felt as connected with anyone. Not like she was feeling just then and there, merely by brushing Elsa's hair. Of course she hadn't had that many people in her life, but the feeling was just so overwhelming.

Anna didn't even notice the tears trailing on her cheek. Not before the running mucus in her nose forced her to sniffle. "Are you alright?" Elsa immediately asked with a worried tone, and turned to see Anna's face.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine. It's just—," she didn't really know how to explain her feelings to the unaware girl, who was probably going to think she was crazy, if Anna told how she felt about her just then. "It just feels so right—to be with you—like—like we're meant to be together." Anna took a deep, shuddering breath. "I know it sounds crazy—I sound crazy. But don't you feel it too?"

There was a long quiet moment, and Anna was terrified of what could be going in Elsa's head. But then there was a soft whisper, barely audible: "I do." And then Anna knew for sure, that you didn't need romantic love to have a soulmate.

* * *

"You know, it's really important for me that you get so well along with Elsa," Kristoff said with voice so honest, Anna almost felt like crying. "She isn't the easiest person to get along with, I know, but you're the first person she seems to be okay hanging out with. You know, beside our family."

"She's really special. I admit, it was hard to be near her at first, when all she did was pushing me away. It's still hard, at times. But I think she is worth fighting for. I have this strange feeling with her that I need to be close to her. Not close like I'm with you, of course! But I want to get to know her better, I need to," Anna answered honestly. Then she pursed her lips and looked up to Kristoff, squeezing his hand a little harder.

"She has that air around her, doesn't she?" Kristoff asked rhetorically with a chuckle. "She has just always been so closed off from the world. People always assumed she just thought that she was better than everyone else, but Elsa isn't like that. She's just—she's just Elsa," Kristoff smiled with a hint of melancholy.

"Was she bullied in school?" Anna asked, because she got a feeling that other children wouldn't like a girl who thinks she's better than them. _Were __**you **__bullied? _She didn't dare to add that question. Kristoff would tell her himself, if he wanted to.

"Yeah, a little bit, not too much. I was always with her and our parents were always ready to raise a hell with school and the other parents if anything were to happen. The kids didn't really dare to do anything, they just left her alone." Kristoff took a small break before continuing: "When we got older, the bullying got more sexual. Elsa grew up to be very pretty and her unattainable status made her wanted by every guy in the school. She was called an 'Ice Queen' because she never agreed to go to dates or any other shit like that. Luckily I grew up to be bigger and stronger too, and I was able to keep her safe myself. The bullying never was too bad, but Elsa has always been sensitive. There was a time I was afraid it would break her."

"I think Elsa is stronger than you give her credit for," Anna said thoughtfully. She truly believed her words, Elsa didn't seem to be the porcelain doll Kristoff always described her to be. Anna didn't think that Elsa would actually break so easily. Unlike Kristoff often made it sound, Anna believed she needed way more than one gentle breeze to crumble.

"Elsa is—," Kristoff had to think to find the right word "—troubled. She might look all strong, but she isn't. It's just a front. I have to take care of her and make sure that the world won't crumble her under its pressure."

"Maybe you should let her carry some of the weight herself, let her show you that she can," Anna suggested. She had grown up with overprotective parents, who didn't ever let her try to face her problems herself. She got a feeling that Kristoff was doing the same to Elsa, no matter how well he meant. Maybe it was finally a time for Elsa to try her own wings, like Anna had.

"No, Elsa isn't ready for that."

"Elsa isn't, or you aren't?" Anna asked, but Kristoff gaze immediately told her that she had overstepped her boundaries. "Okay, I get it, Elsa needs you." Anna took a deep breath: "How's your family?"

Kristoff's face brightened immediately with the subject change. "I actually wanted to talk about that. My mom called and asked me and Elsa to go home for a week. I promised her that we would go after Elsa gets crutches and she doesn't need a wheelchair anymore. I think we could leave after a week or so. That way Elsa could have some time to adjust to her crutches"

"Oh, that's nice," Anna said, feeling more than a little sad. She was going to be all alone again. It was going to be a long week. It wasn't like she could just go to home for a week. _She really needed to start making some new friends._

"Yeah, and I thought it would be great if you would come too. I know we haven't been together that long, but it would mean a lot to me if you would meet my mom, Pabbie and Olaf," Kristoff added sheepishly and rubbed his neck.

"Really? You would take me to meet your family?" Anna asked, getting excited.

"Well, Elsa is most of my family, and you two are starting to hit out really well. It would be really nice for you to meet the rest. I mean, they can be quite strange, and loud, like really loud. But—," Kristoff started insecurely apologize beforehand, but Anna stopped him.

"I would love to meet them!"

"Oh, really?" Anna nodded enthusiastically. "Oh well, I guess I can call mom, and tell her that you're coming with us?"

"Yes!" Anna exclaimed. "But is Elsa fine with me tagging along? I wouldn't want to impose"

"Yeah sure," Kristoff's words were positive, but his tone wasn't. It was quite obvious that Kristoff hadn't asked Elsa's opinion beforehand.

Anna didn't want to interfere with the siblings' relationship and communication, she hardly had any right to, so she just commented a soft: "Okay then." Kristoff could deal with Elsa the way he saw best.

* * *

Elsa was sitting on the couch, where Kristoff had left her. Her wheelchair was in her room, since Kristoff had carried her from there, like most of the mornings. The morning walk Kristoff and Anna shared, had took unusually long, and Elsa was getting impatient. She had some schoolwork she was supposed to do, but her laptop was in her room, and there was no way she was getting there without her wheelchair.

Elsa wanted to curse Kristoff for leaving her on that damned couch, but she had to remember her place. She couldn't survive a day alone without half of her limbs, so she had to be good girl and suck it up. Kristoff was already doing too much for her, she couldn't start complaining now. If Kristoff forgot her on the couch, she would be quiet and watch TV for the whole day, if she needed to. She had to be thankful for the help she had.

Trying to inspire herself into thankfulness and acceptance of her situation, did not stop her from breathing out of relief when the front door finally opened. Kristoff, Sven and Anna came into her view and she had to bite her tongue to stop herself for immediately asking for her laptop. Elsa didn't want to seem greedy.

The pair seated down to the couch with her, making her shift a little farther uncomfortably. The couch wasn't big enough for three people, in her opinion. Elsa didn't like casually touching people. It didn't help any, that Kristoff immediately wrapped his right arm on Anna's shoulders. Public shows of affection always made her uneasy, no matter how much she had grown to accept and like Anna.

"Hey Elsa! I asked Anna to accompany us to the visit to Tromsø," Kristoff said and plastered a smile. A smile that clearly told her that he had already promised Anna, and it would be really awkward for all of them if she started arguing about it.

"Oh, that's nice," Elsa answered with a weak smile. She tried to swallow her disappointment and jealousy. She could feel the familiar tingle of fear bubbling in her veins. First Kristoff had stopped asking Elsa to come to the morning walks, then she had gotten that feeling that she wouldn't be welcome, even if she wanted to go. Then Kristoff had chosen to go in Anna's apartment to play some videogames instead of their normal sibling movie night. Of course Anna had invited her too, but she had been so upset that she knew she couldn't hide it if she wasn't alone. And now Kristoff was going to take that girl to her home.

Bulda was going to love Anna. And Olaf and Pabbie, too. They would all see what a wonderful girl Anna was, they would have no space for poor and broken Elsa anymore. Elsa was just dead weight on their shoulders. Anna was someone, who could make everyone forget their problems and worries just by being around. Elsa was no match for her. She was going to lose her family, she knew it. Finally they would realize, that Elsa didn't deserve any of them. She was just a greedy little girl, who took everything she was given.

Then Elsa was pulled out from her dark thoughts, and she realized that Anna had rambled for a while already. "—and I never was able to get a driving license. So I guess you and Elsa will do all the driving?"

"Elsa can't drive," Kristoff said matter-of-factly, and quirked his eyebrow.

Anna looked at Elsa and her whole face flushed red, eyes widening and mouth ajar: "Ooh, I'm so sorry! I'm an idiot sometimes!" Anna smacked her forehead with her palm. "Of course Elsa can't drive without her right leg and arm."

"Well, it's not like I could drive anyway. I don't have a driving license either," Elsa shrugged.

"Oh, you don't? But Kristoff has, why don't you?" Anna asked with confusion evident on her face.

"Elsa **can't** drive," Kristoff repeated, with an emphasis.

"She can't? Please don't tell me this is some stupid 'women can't drive' –thing. Because lemme tell ya—," Anna started, puffing her chest out a little.

"No, no! I don't mean that she can't-can't in sense of she isn't able to—though she isn't, because she never learnt to drive. But she probably would have been great driver, if she could drive—wait. No. That doesn't sound right. What I mean, is—," Kristoff rambled. Talking himself deeper and deeper in the trap, before Elsa put him out of his misery.

"I can't drive a car. Dad tried to teach me, before he passed away, but it never worked. I would start sweating cold sweat, my heart tried to race out of my chest, and my hands started shaking whenever I sat in front of the steering wheel. I was in a bad car accident as a child. I can sit in a car just fine, but I can't drive one," Elsa explained.

Most of her traumatic childhood memories were off the table, she would never willingly bring them up. This particular memory wasn't one of them. Of course she had been, and still was, sad about her biological father's death. No matter what kind of person he was, he was still her father, she was obligated to feel bad about his death. But no amount of sadness could make her regret what had happened that night. That night had finally freed her from that torture she had called life. So no, bringing that accident up didn't feel too hard for her.

"Was Kristoff in that car accident too?" Anna frowned.

"No, just me," Elsa answered quickly. She hoped her tone made it clear that she wasn't up to talk about details. While the car accident wasn't a sore point for her, she didn't want to say anything that could lead to her other childhood occurrences.

"So you've been in two bad accidents involving cars? Jeez, my parents wouldn't have never let me out of my room ever again, if something like that had happened to me," Anna said, only half-joking.

"I'm also considering locking Elsa up here permanently," Kristoff chuckled, also only half-joking. Elsa shoved him with her good arm and with an annoyed look. Kristoff pretended to be a tiniest bit afraid of her stern look. Unfortunately for Elsa, she looked more like an angry puppy.

"Well, I guess Kristoff will have to drive the whole way then. Elsa and I have to concentrate on eating chocolate and sleeping. Just a fair warning though, I snore a little," Anna grinned to Elsa.

Maybe, just maybe this trip wouldn't be such a disaster, after all.

* * *

**A/N **So yap, here is this. Nothing too big happening, I'm just building up the relationships and the story. I hope you enjoyed reading it. If you did, please make my day and leave your thoughts on the comment box.


	15. Chapter 15

The cool glass felt nice against Elsa's forehead. She was watching the scenery change before her eyes. It always made her feel a little blue, to see the world so big and beautiful, but not be able to go there. Elsa longed to see more, but she felt like she was stuck. She was chained in a small cage, like a bird yearning to try her wings. But Elsa was too afraid to reach for the sky. What if she lost all she already had by seeking something that didn't exists?

She wasn't sure she wanted things to change at all. _She was happy now, wasn't she?_ At least she wasn't sad, that she was quite sure of. _This had to be enough. _She had everything she needed in that small, poky car. This was her family now, her meaning and her life. She was even going to see the extension of her family, the ones she so dearly missed. _Why did it still feel like she was lost? What more could she wish for?_ She didn't have an answer for that, but the ache in her chest didn't leave her alone.

Anna's dull kick on the back of her seat forced her back to the reality. Elsa heard a mumbled "sorry" from Anna, and turned to see how the girl was faring. Poor Anna was cramped up behind the front seats, with half of Sven laying on top of her and half of him between her legs. It looked extremely uncomfortable to be packed in such a small space with a huge dog, but Anna was just casually playing her Game Boy, like it didn't bother her at all.

Mother was most likely going to throw a fit for them traveling like that. Kristoff's Taro only had seats for two people, so Elsa had tried to talk Kristoff and Anna into taking a train. Neither had really warmed up for the idea. Kristoff wanted to drive his own car and Anna was reassuring that she would definitely be fine behind the seats. They had drove like that before, but never across the country like now. Elsa had tried to argue that this was stupid, crazy dangerous, and extremely illegal. But there they were, cramped up in Kristoff's Taro, driving a highway towards their farmhouse in North.

* * *

"Fucking hell!" Kristoff suddenly cursed, startling both of the slumbering girls. "The car broke. I'll try to drive to the next gas station and see if I can fix it," Kristoff explained with a calmer tone.

They basically groveled to the gas station and Kristoff parked. Then he got out of the car, helped Anna out too, and went to get Elsa's crutches from the bed of his pickup truck. Kristoff lifted Elsa down to the ground, and gave her the crutches.

"There's Deli de Luca inside, go eat there and bring me some food too. I'll take Sven for a quick stretching of legs, and then I'll see what I can do with the car," Kristoff ordered and pushed some cash on Anna's hand. Then he got Sven out of the car and walked off.

Elsa started hoisting herself towards the building, Anna hot on her heels.

* * *

Inside the building, Elsa made quick scan to deem the place safe. It wasn't too full, but there were couple of quite sketchy people there. One clearly drunk man was playing on a slot machine. She made sure not to catch his eyes, drunks were always unpredictable.

"Shall we go to order now?" Anna asked to bring her back to reality, when it was obvious that Elsa was in her own little world.

Elsa lifted her head up to see the line and appetizing sandwiches behind the glass and the cashier taking orders. The line wasn't too long and the cashier was a friendly looking boy, not scary at all, but Elsa felt herself getting nervous nevertheless. _What if she couldn't get her order right? What if she stuttered? What if she was holding up the line and people started getting mad at her? What if her order was strange?_ The list of things that could go wrong was endless.

"How about you order and I go find us a table?" Elsa suddenly asked, breaking the tense silence.

Anna glanced around the relatively empty dining area and then she gave Elsa a quizzical look. Elsa was sure Anna was going to call her out, but then she said instead: "Sure, what do you want?"

Elsa sighed out of relief and gave her order to Anna, then she went to look for a table. With a quick scan, she found the most isolated table on the corner, and went to sit on it. She gave a quick glance to Anna, to see her choosing soda bottles for them. Then she trimmed her eyes firmly on the wood to not to look at anyone to gain any attention. Elsa felt vulnerable and alone, just sitting there, so she flipped her phone up and started scrolling through news, just to look busy. Elsa didn't have any social media accounts, or friends, so phone was mostly a useless decorative piece for her.

Before she noticed, Anna was there, putting the sandwiches on the table. "Hey, wait for me a sec, okay? I really need to use the restroom real quick," Anna told Elsa, without ever sitting down. She didn't give Elsa any time to answer, before leaving her sit on that table alone again, with their wrapped sandwiches and sodas.

Elsa was unsure, if it would be okay for her to start eating, so she just sat there awkwardly. The food and drinks were laying, untouched, on the table, and Elsa was nervously drumming her fingers against the wood, her phone long forgotten. She let her gaze travel around the gas station. That was a mistake, as she was starting to feel the familiar claustrophobic terror crawl into every cell in her.

When she was returning her gaze back to the table, ready to start read the news again, she made the fatal mistake. She locked the eyes with the drunken guy, who was just getting of the slot machine. It was just for a nanosecond, and Elsa immediately turned her eyes away, but it had been enough to peak the man's interest. Elsa could see the man closing towards her from the corner of her eye. She turned her head to another way, willing him to get the hint.

She was so stupid. This was exactly why Elsa could never gain the independence she so greatly craved for. Elsa couldn't survive even a minute, if she was left alone. She couldn't understand why she was so screwed up individual. What was the fault in her code that made it impossible for her to take care of herself? _Why was she so useless thing?_

"What's a beautiful damsel like yourself, sitting here all alone?" the man asked, his voice slurring only a slightly.

Elsa was frozen with fear. Her eyes were firmly looking forward, avoiding eye contact with the stranger. Her heart was pounding in her chest, beating like wings of a humming bird. She didn't know how to answer, how to make him go away. She wasn't sure she even could talk if she wanted to. One wrong word and it could possibly threw the drunken man into a fit of anger. Elsa couldn't even escape by running with her broken leg. She was stuck, chained like an abused dog.

"P-p-pardon me, sir," Elsa managed to stutter out, looking at the man fleetingly. She knew better than to keep quiet when addressed to. She had been punished for that more than once.

"You're a shy, aren't you sweetheart?" the stranger cooed. Elsa could see from the corner of her eye that his hand was slowly coming towards her face. A new wave of terror filled her. She broke into a cold sweat and tried to lean away from the hand. "You wouldn't mind me sitting down with you, would you sugar?"

But then the hand, just inches away from her cheek, halted.

"Yes, she would mind," a stern voice told the stranger.

Elsa looked up to see her savior. Anna was standing there, holding the man's wrist in a vicious grip, making it impossible for him to reach Elsa. Gone was the bubbly girl Elsa had learned to know. Anna's eyes were shooting daggers to the stranger, and her face was so serious that it was hard for Elsa to recognize her friend.

"Hey, let go! I was just talking with the lady. We had no problem, right blondie," the man chimed, trying to free his arm.

Elsa didn't even have time to answer before Anna said with a low, threating voice: "I suggest you leave my friend here alone right now, or we will have a problem. Am I clear?"

There was some intense staring between the drunk and Anna. The fear in Elsa's stomach was growing to a point she almost wanted to double over in pain. There was going to be a fight, and Elsa didn't know how to stop it. She couldn't even help Anna fight. Elsa was hardly a fighter when she was in her prime, let alone now when she couldn't even stand on her own legs.

However, instead of attacking, the man lifted his now freed hands to the air, and let out a sheepish drunken laugh. "My bad, miss. I'll leave you two at it." And then he turned around and walked back to the slot machine, without ever glancing back. _Had Elsa just been saved by a skinny girl shorter than her?_

Anna let out a deep breath, before fixing a smile back on her face and turned to see Elsa. Her smile quickly fell, when she saw her distressed friend in front of her. "Hey, what's wrong? Did he hurt you?" Anna asked, reaching her hand to wipe out the tears straining Elsa's cheeks. Elsa hadn't even notice that she had started to cry.

For her own surprise, Elsa didn't flinch away from Anna's touch. It felt strangely comforting to feel Anna's thumb brush against her damp cheeks. She shook her head a little, to let Anna know she wasn't hurt. She needed a couple of deep breaths to calm herself down, before she was able to say: "Could we go to eat outside?"

Without questioning Elsa, Anna plastered a smile and answered: "Sure!" She was already giving Elsa her crunches and taking their beverages and sandwiches.

* * *

Elsa and Anna sat quietly on the ground, backs leaning against the old Taro. Kristoff was still somewhere with Sven, so it was just the two of them, listening the noises from the traffic around them. They were just eating without conversation. Elsa finally started to lose the jittery feeling and was calming down.

"So, can you tell me what in that man made you so upset? You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to, but I wish to be there for you. I care for you, and I would love to know what's bothering you," Anna broke the silence with her sympathetic tone.

Elsa took a deep breath. She wanted to share her burden with Anna, to let her in, but she wasn't sure how. Her fears weren't something she was used to talk about. Kristoff had been her only friend for so long, and he always got uncomfortable when her past was brought up, and she didn't like to upset him. But Anna sounded like she genuinely wanted to know what was troubling Elsa so. Didn't her therapist always encourage her to share about her fears with others?

"It's hard to explain. He was just drunk, and being really forward. I'm not really good at handling situations like that," Elsa told, making hesitant eye contact with Anna. Her facial expression didn't change from sympathetic.

"You don't like drunks?" Anna guessed.

"It's not necessarily about me liking them. It's just—drunks are so unpredictable. I never know when they're going to throw a fit and attack, just because something isn't going in their way. Sober people are a little easier for me to read and they're less likely to get angry and violent," Elsa explained the best she could. It wasn't easy, because she barely understood her own fears herself.

"You are afraid of people hurting you, physically? Has someone hurt you?" Anna knew she was pushing her limits, but she really needed to know.

"My father—he um—he wasn't always the nicest man," Elsa answered vaguely.

Anna couldn't stop her eyes widening from surprise. Kristoff had always talked very highly about their father, so this was the last thing she had expected to hear. "I'm sorry, I'm a little confused. Doesn't Kristoff know that your father wasn't—um—nice to you?"

Then Elsa realized what Anna was implying and she rushed to explain the misunderstanding: "Oh no! That's not what I meant. Mr. Bjorgman was always really kind to me, he was a wonderful man. I meant my biological father." Even though Elsa had never been really close to Mr. Bjorgman, as she had been wary of him till the end, she though really highly of him. He had never been anything but kind to her, even though Elsa could barely look him in the eyes.

"Your biological father? I didn't know you were adopted," Anna said with a hesitant tone, she didn't know if it was a sore subject. She assumed it must be, as it was never mentioned before. Not even when she had stupidly asked if Elsa and Kristoff could read each other's minds. She had heard twins could do it, but now she understood the weird looks they had given her.

"Yeah, my father died in that car accident I told you about." Anna's mouth opened, ready to pour out her condolences, but Elsa stopped her: "It's alright. I loved him, like a daughter should love her father. But as hard as it is to admit, I'm better off without him. I met Kristoff and got a family that took better care of me. I love Bjorgmans, and I love being one of them. I hardly miss my father." She had never understood how true those words were. She really didn't miss her father. _What kind of person didn't miss her own father? _

"So um—your father, he—um—he hurt you when you were a child?" Anna asked, hesitantly, trying to clarify the situation for herself.

"Yeah, he hurt me," Elsa admitted. It wasn't a lie, even though her father had hardly hurt her physically himself. It was still her father who had rented her like Brafilm rented movies, to entertain for an evening. He had let other people hurt her. For what, for some quick cash? She had never really blamed her father for all of what had happened to her, but now thinking about how easy it would have been for him not to make her go through all that, was making her sick.

"I'm so sorry, Elsa," Anna said, her voice so sad.

"It's not your fault," Elsa smiled sadly at her. There was a moment of silence between them.

"Hey girls!" Kristoff shouted from a small distance, Sven with him.

"Oh, come here you big boy, c'mere!" Anna blabbered affectionately to the dog, smacking her palms against the meat on her thighs to gain his attention.

Kristoff let go of the dog and he ran to the girls, licked their faces and wagged his tail.

"Eww, gross," Elsa complained with a laugh, trying to keep the dog's tongue away from her face.

Anna didn't mind the licks on her cheek. She just giggled and asked: "What? You're afraid of some dog kisses? What kind of dog person are you?" Then she turned to rub Sven's cheeks with both of her hands and cooed to the dog: "Yeah, Elsa is so stupid, isn't she? Doesn't even want you to give her your sweet, sweet kisses. Bad Elsa."

"Hey, not fair," Elsa pouted. "I wanted to have some cute little sheltie or something, but then our neighbor's beast had some puppies, and Kristoff just had to have one."

"She wasn't a beast, she was a Newfoundland's dog, and she was gorgeous. Wasn't she, Sven?" Kristoff asked his dog. And then he answered for him, with a funny voice: "That's right, Kris."

"Did you just talk for your dog?" Anna asked and burst into laughter, the heavier conversation with Elsa long forgotten.

Kristoff halted his movements and flushed red. Elsa just smirked and said with teasing tone: "I've been waiting for this to happen. Our Kris here has a nice habit of talking for our dogs, but he has been trying so hard not to, because he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of you."

"Embarrass himself? Aww, Kristoff, I think you are so cute. Especially when you're talking for your dog like that," Anna gushed. Kristoff flushed even redder for the compliment.

Elsa decided to let her brother from the hook: "So, how about the car?"

"Oh yeah, the car," he said like he had forgotten the whole thing. "I can fix it, but it will take some time. I booked us a room from nearby motel, you two can stay there while I try to get the machine to work. I think we can keep going tomorrow, we're just having a little shorter drive today than we had been planning on."

"Sounds great! Do you want to eat your sandwich now, or later? Elsa and I are done with ours," Anna said happily.

"Later is fine, I'll take you to the motel now, okay?" Kristoff asked and both of the girls nodded. "I'll carry you, Elsa," he added, when Elsa was trying to get up.

"Oh no, I'm fine walking. I have my crutches and everything," Elsa tried, but Kristoff was having none of it.

He crabbed Elsa's crutches and handed them for Anna, who had just gotten up. "You can carry these."

"Yes, sir," Anna answered dutifully.

"And I'll carry you," Kristoff said to Elsa. Before she could protest, Kristoff was already hoisting her up. For Elsa's relief, Kristoff wasn't going to carry her in bridal style, which Elsa found extremely embarrassing. No, this time Kristoff helped Elsa on his back and carried her on piggy back.

After they had walked a while, Anna hit gently on Elsa's left leg to gain her attention. "Hey, you want some?" she asked and offered her a piece of chocolate.

"Thank you," Elsa said with an earnest smile, taking the piece offered to her.

"I'm not getting any, even though I'm the only one doing the hard work here?" Kristoff asked with fake offended tone, after Anna didn't seem to have any intention to share with him.

"I'm not sure about that. I'm quite certain that these crutches weight more than Elsa," Anna lifted the crutches in her left hand for Kristoff to view, and smirked.

"Well, not for long if you keep feeding my sister those sweets," Kristoff said with faux serious tone, and buckled his knees a little to prove the point.

"Hey!" both of the girls shouted and smacked his body with their free hands.

"Jeez, why so violent?" Kristoff asked while cowering his body, but grinned nevertheless.

Anna looked at him with an amused expression. "Quit being a jerk and carry your sister like a good brother," she ordered him, with a hint of playfulness in her voice. "And stop complaining, we all know that you don't eat chocolate."

"I would if I ever had time before Elsa makes it disappear," Kristoff teased and looked up to his sister to see her sticking her tongue out for him.

"Would you believe, that Kristoff actually had quite a sweet tooth as a child? Chocolate was actually something he offered to me the first time we met," Elsa told. Kristoff shot an alarmed look to her, but Elsa just smiled warmly to show that it was alright.

"Oh well, at least he knew the way to your heart," Anna grinned. She hoped that she herself was also on the right path.

"He sure did," Elsa answered with a conversation ending tone. Then she clamped her arms tighter around Kristoff's broad shoulders to give him something resembling a hug.

It was really rare for Elsa to initiate contact, and Kristoff felt more than little moved from the gesture. He had to swallow his emotions down, then he hoisted Elsa a little higher, and kept going, eyes firmly on road ahead of them.

* * *

The motel room was modest. Elsa felt immediately disgusted, the room looked unclean and unsanitary. She had an itch to start cleaning the room and herself, but she wasn't sure even she could make that awful yellow tone to disappear.

If the rooms contaminant state wasn't enough to make Elsa's skin crawl, the number of beds did. There was only one bed, double bed. Then there was a beat down couch. Elsa quickly did the math and understood that there was no good options for sleeping arrangements. If Anna took the couch, she'd had to sleep with Kristoff. The idea of a big male body next to her when she was unconscious made her shudder. She trusted Kristoff with all of her heart, but she could only imagine the panic she would feel, if she happened to wake up middle of night, confused about her surroundings and a big frame next to her.

If Kristoff was the one taking the couch, Elsa would have to share the bed with Anna. Of course she had learned to care and like for the bubbly girl, she had even shared a piece from her past with her, but she was nowhere near comfortable enough with her to sleep next to her. Sleeping was hard for her as it was, sharing her bed was too great risk for a panic attack.

The obvious answer would have been for her to sleep on the couch herself, if she didn't want to share the bed. But that option wasn't too alluring either. While she trusted Kristoff and Anna as individuals, she didn't trust them too much as a pair. Even the idea of them cuddling next to her sleeping form made her skin crawl from disgust, let alone if they were to do something more. Elsa didn't think she could handle it, if they were to have sex so near her. She felt a little ashamed to not to be able to trust them to respect her enough not to do that, but she couldn't help the nagging fear.

"I'm sorry, this was the only free room. Now we'll just have to decide who'll sleep—," Kristoff started, but Elsa didn't need to hear the rest of it. She had chosen the lesser evil out of the three options.

"I'll take the couch," she announced. It wasn't a question, she was going to sleep on that couch. She couldn't share a bed, now all she had to do, was to trust her brother and Anna to keep their modesty intact through the night.

"Are you sure? We could—," Kristoff started, looking a little puzzled. But again, Elsa interrupted him.

"I'm sure."

"Oh, well, okay then. I'll go to fix that car now," he said. Then he leaned to kiss Anna softly on the cheek, took Sven and left.

Elsa felt a spike of jealousy yet again. Kristoff used to give her those soft, brotherly kisses. She didn't like them too much, as she wasn't really a fan of human contact, but it still annoyed her. It wasn't that she missed his small gestures of affection that much, it was that the lack of them gave her this gnawing anxiety. _Didn't Kristoff care for her anymore? Was he already casting Elsa aside to make more room for Anna? What would happen to her when she was all alone? _

"So, are you up to a round of Spit?" Anna asked with a lingering tone, breaking Elsa out of her thoughts.

Soon Elsa forgot why she was supposed to be afraid of Anna. The heart in her chest warming like a rock left under summer sun, just for being so near to Anna. "Sure," she answered and smiled.

* * *

**A/N **Hey TitaniaErin! I hope this chapter is long enough for you ;) My latest chapters have been quite short, but this one got a little lenghty. I made an illustration for the car scene, which you can view if you're interested: post/617737336035393536/annabehindseats See you in the next chapter!


	16. Chapter 16

The room was dimly lit from the low burning sun. It was never completely dark in summer, Anna knew that much, and it wasn't bright enough to be morning. She turned her phone to see the time. 3:42 am. Anna turned to see Kristoff sleeping next to her, his back facing her. Then she turned to see the couch on which Elsa was sleeping on. There was a dark silhouette, just sitting there, unmoving.

Anna got quietly up and creeped next to the sitting figure. Elsa didn't say anything, so Anna just sat down next to her. Neither of them spoke. Elsa kept staring into emptiness and Anna had time to look at Elsa's attire. She was still wearing those white jeans and simple button-up blouse from the day. Her hair was still tied with a tight bun, which was horrible thing to have for traveling, if Anna's opinion was asked. Elsa looked polished, but tired, there was no doubt that she hadn't slept a minute in that motel room.

"Is the couch too lumpy for you to sleep on?" Anna asked gently, trying to reach for Elsa's eyes.

Finally Elsa turned her head to regard Anna's existence. She smiled so softly it was barely noticeable, and shook her head. Her beauty was almost ethereal, basking with early morning sun. Elsa didn't look like she was from this world at all, and Anna was afraid she would disappear if she closed her eyes for too long. She wanted to close Elsa in a hug, never letting her go, but she knew Elsa would only flinch away. Anna wasn't sure she could take that rejection, even if she knew it was coming.

"So, what's keeping you awake at this hour? Is it our snoring? I did warn you about it," Anna joked weakly, trying to get Elsa to lose that faraway look in her eyes.

"I'm just thinking," Elsa answered vaguely, without actually answering to anything.

"What are you thinking about?" Anna prompted.

Elsa seemed to think for the longest time for her answer. Just when Anna thought she had lost her again, Elsa looked her straight into her eyes and said: "It's disgusting in here. I can't lay down without feeling thousands of different kind of creatures crawling on my skin. I know there's nothing, at least nothing worse than a bed bug." Elsa grinned a little bit, but lost the humor soon. "But when I get the thought of things crawling on my skin, it doesn't go away until I get up and see my skin without them. So I'm just sitting here, trying to think other things." Elsa had turned to face the empty wall once again, distant look in her eyes.

Elsa didn't want to tell the reason for that feeling. She didn't want to tell Anna, that she had spent more than enough time in hotels and motels in her childhood, and those times never included any sleep. Mostly she had been brought to other people's homes, if not, the hotels her father pushed her into were usually nice. But sometimes, they had been gross and cheap like the one they were currently located to. She had always had the feeling of dirty things crawling on her when she laid in unfamiliar places. She didn't want to tell Anna, that she was afraid to close her eyes and wake up with a strange man she has never met before, or even worse, one that she has met before.

Anna didn't know what to say. She was dying to know what went through Elsa's head, but she didn't know, what to ask to make her talk more. In Elsa's books, she had already told plenty. Anna didn't want to anger her by pushing too hard. So she change the subject to get Elsa back: "Isn't that bun getting uncomfortable for you? It looks so tight."

"Huh?" Elsa asked. Then she understood the words and touched her bun with her left hand. "I don't know, I didn't even remember it," she said with distrait voice.

"Would you like me to braid it for you? I bet it would be way more comfortable," Anna asked hesitantly, afraid of rejection. It always hurt so much, when Elsa pushed her away.

"I don't know. Would you tie it back to a bun at morning? My wrist still hurts when I'm doing my hair," Elsa confessed, twisting gently her healing wrist.

"If that's what you want to. But why wouldn't you have it in a braid for tomorrow?" Anna asked, frowning a little.

"I don't want people to see me my hair down. Bun makes me feel in control," Elsa answered, wondering how much she was willing to reveal of herself to that girl.

"In control of what?"

_Yeah, in control of what? _Elsa didn't really know. What was she controlling with her hair up? She had just always kept it up when in public. Elsa wasn't really good with changes, she was good with routines. She didn't even remember when she started to tie her hair up, she just started at one point, and never stopped. Now it all seemed very silly. She felt ridiculous for saying that to Anna, and Anna was an adult who proudly wore twin braids and pigtails on a regular day. Anna was still the bravest girl Elsa knew, even with her silly braids, they didn't diminish her power or control in anyway. Elsa could easily wear a French braid one day.

"You know what, you are right. I would love for you to braid my hair," Elsa said finally.

"Oh really?" Anna squealed a little too loudly. Elsa hushed her immediately and pointed to sleeping Kristoff. "Oh, right, sorry. I'll braid your hair real quiet, I promise," Anna grinned and started working on Elsa's hair.

When she was done, they sat in a silence. The silence was comfortable, but Anna herself felt as tense as an over-tuned violin. She felt strong need to lay her head against Elsa's shoulder, and she was going to do it, with the risk of Elsa shaking her off. Heart bounding in her ears, she gently laid her head against Elsa's shoulder. Anna squeezed her eyes closed, and without noticing, held her breath.

Elsa under her went rigid. Seconds passed without anything else happening. But then Elsa surprised Anna, her shoulders relaxed completely. And then a soft cheek pressed against the crown of Anna's head. Her eyes shot open and she released a shuddering breath. Elsa next to her seemed content, and with newfound confidence, Anna snuggled a little closer to Elsa. She even dared to take a hold of Elsa's left hand with her right hand. Instead of pulling her hand back, Elsa started drawing soft circles with her thumb on the back of Anna's hand.

Anna felt like she was exactly where she should have been. How was it possible that it felt even better to cuddle with Elsa, than it did with Kristoff? With Kristoff, there was always that certain awkwardness of a new relationship present when they were together. But in a moment like this, she felt like she had knew Elsa her whole life.

"Aren't you tired?" Anna yawned.

"I have whole day to sleep tomorrow. Now I just want to be here with you," Elsa answered softly and gave a gentle squeeze to Anna's hand.

They sat like that the whole night. Ironically, in a way Elsa ended up sharing her bed with Anna, after all.

* * *

"Finally! We're here," Kristoff announced while driving a bumpy dirt road to the yard of a nice, red and yellow farmhouse.

"Oh no," Elsa breathed out with a horrified face when she saw what was waiting for them.

"Wow! You have a big family!" Anna exclaimed, getting hyped up.

The front yard of the farmhouse had at least fifteen children playing together. They all got really excited, when they saw Kristoff parking his car and getting out of it. He barely had time to help the girls out of the car and fetch Elsa's crutches, when a plump woman ran out of the front door, an army of other adults trailing behind her, and yelled: "Kristoff and Elsa are home!"

Then she removed the distance between them and crushed Kristoff into a tight bear hug. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too, mom," Kristoff laughed, struggling to breathe a little.

Then Bulda let Kristoff go, and stalked towards Elsa: "And you, my little girl, I swear you get more beautiful every day." She took Elsa into a gentle and a little awkward hug, since Elsa still had to hold her crutches. "How do I even hug you without breaking you? How many times I have to tell you, you ought to be more careful when biking alongside with those cars? Why won't you just let Kristoff drive you around?" Bulda chastised.

"I like biking, mom," Elsa pouted cutely.

Then Bulda noticed her hair and took her braid in her hands to admire. "Ooh! You have your hair down! Have you finally stopped wearing those tight buns and started dressing like a normal young woman?" Then she gave a look to Elsa's lavender turtleneck dress. It would have been a little warm for the hot day in South, but was quite appropriate in the rapidly cooling late summer evening in North. She could actually have even warmer clothes. "Well, you look youthful enough," Bulda said simply.

Before Elsa could answer in any way, Bulda's gaze found Anna. "And which one of my weirdly antisocial children brought this cute red head to our yard?" she almost yelled with a delighted expression.

Anna flushed red and laughed awkwardly: "I'd like to say both, as Elsa's my friend too. But uh, Kristoff asked me to come." Then she shot a pointed look to Kristoff. "I thought you were supposed to call your mother about this?"

Kristoff rubbed his neck and looked elsewhere. "Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Kristoff brought home a girl?" Bulda asked rhetorically, testing out the words in her mouth. Then she turned to see the bigger group a little farther away and yelled: "Kristoff brought a girl!"

The yard-full of people started circling Anna and scrutinize her. Anna couldn't make sense of half of the things said, but they seemed pleased with her. Elsa looked embarrassed, but was standing still, like unsure of what to do. Kristoff was trying to make his family back off, but they ignored him. Anna just stood middle of this, and was trying to pay attention to everyone, without succeeding.

"Elsa! Elsa! You're home!" someone yelled from the farmhouse. The high pitched screaming finally made the huge crowd stop examining Anna.

They scattered enough for Anna to see a little boy run towards them. He was the strangest looking child Anna had ever seen. He was running as fast as he could towards them, but it looked so clumsy and slow, with those short little legs. His head looked too big for his body, and his legs and arms too short. His skin was even paler than Elsa's and his hair was dark brown, contrasting the skin even more.

The boy had almost reached Elsa, when Bulda caught him: "There, there Olaf. I know you're excited, but remember what we talked about."

"That I'm not supposed to jump in Elsa's arms, because her leg hurts," Olaf said so sadly that it broke Anna's heart to hear.

"C'mon Kristoff. Lift Olaf up so I can properly greet my baby brother," Elsa ordered Kristoff with commanding tone, but playful glint in her eyes.

Kristoff grumbled a little bit, but complied his sister's wishes anyway. Olaf's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he started jumping up and down excitedly, before Kristoff picked him up. Kristoff brought Olaf to Elsa, and took a hold on her crutches to free her arms. Olaf quickly wrapped his short little hands around Elsa's neck, and hug her so tightly, it must've hurt Elsa's delicate neck. Elsa didn't seem to mind, she just wrapped her arms around Olaf's body, and squeezed lightly.

"I've missed you so much, little guy," Elsa breathed into Olaf's neck, just loud enough for Anna to hear it too. It was weird for Anna to see Elsa being so openly affectionate.

"I missed you too, Elsie," Olaf giggled. But then he spotted Anna behind Elsa's shoulder and gasped excitedly. "Ooh! Who is this?" he yelled near to Elsa's ear, which made her let go of him and step farther, rubbing her ear. Then Olaf turned to his brother, slammed his hands to his chest and kicked his feet wildly. "Let me down now Kristoff!" he demanded.

Kristoff let that little guy on the ground, and he ran to Anna. He reached to grab the hem of her plaid shirt within both of his fist: "Who are you?"

"I'm Anna, Kristoff's girlfriend," Anna chuckled lightly. She was a little unsure, what she was supposed to do with the overly excited child.

"You look just like my sister Elsa! Are you my sister too?" the boy asked, awe in his eyes.

"Oh no, we're just good friends," Anna said. Her voice didn't waver, but she actually felt a little spooked. Olaf was the second one to ask if they were sisters, and he wasn't just some random boy selling ice cream, he was Elsa's foster brother. _Did they really look similar?_

"That's a shame. You're so beautiful," Olaf breathed out, longingly.

Maybe Olaf just thought Anna looked like Elsa, because he thought Anna was beautiful. Maybe every beautiful girl reminded Olaf of his lovely sister. And well, being compared to Elsa, wasn't exactly an insult, more like a compliment, so Anna decided to not to dwell on it too much. Would it even be so bad to be referred as Elsa's sister? They might not be sisters by blood, but she did hope for Elsa to see her as something close to a sister one day.

* * *

It was weird for Anna, to be an adult in this kind of chattering. Her parents had sometimes taken her to evenings and galas with them, but she had always been shooed to go and play with other children. With her nanny's supervision, of course. She had always liked to be able to go and play with others, but she felt so grown up now, sitting with other adults.

It was also really nice to get to know Elsa and Kristoff's aunts and uncles, though they seemed to be more interested in her than sharing about themselves. It wasn't really a problem for Anna, she liked to talk and thrived from being the center of attention.

Kristoff had ran off to entertain the children with Sven, it was so nice to see how well Kristoff got along with them. He was great with kids, better than with adults. He would make a great father one day, the thought made Anna blush. Only one child had remained, the little foster boy Olaf. Bulda had tried to ask him to leave adults talk, but he had refused to leave Elsa's lap once he had managed to climb on it. Soon the hyped up boy had fallen asleep, and Elsa was currently stroking his head lovingly. Anna kind of wished she was the one Elsa was petting.

The dynamics in the room were strange. Elsa was quietly sitting on her own armchair, while others were seated on the couches. But it didn't feel like she was an outsider in the conversation. She didn't really say anything, but Bulda spoke for her and she confirmed with nods of her head. She took part in the conversation with facial expressions and nodding and shaking her head. No one seemed to be bothered by this.

"My parents actually raised me to be a Norwegian, by any means necessary. You know, anything except actually taking me to Norway," Anna explained to the question of her Norwegian inheritance.

"But if you have family here, wouldn't they take you to see them. Family is so important!" one of the aunts gasped.

"Some of my relatives came to visit us in UK, but we never came to Norway. My parents didn't really take me anywhere. I left the house for first time when I was seven and broke my arm after sliding down a bannister," Anna told and every one gasped, even Elsa looked somewhat horrified. She felt like an amazing storyteller.

"Why would they keep such a sweet child as yourself locked up?"

"My father always said, that you can never trust anyone and the world is cruel place for little girls like me. When I was thirteen or something, he told me a story about a business man he once met. He was just a regular guy, a family man. He had wife and a newborn baby when my father had met him. He seemed like any normal guy, loving husband and a proud father of his little baby girl. Pictures in a wallet and all of that normal stuff. Years later, he turns out to be some leader in a huge pedophile ring that human trafficked children. It was rumored that he even sold her own daughter regularly, though it was never confirmed publicly, of course. It terrified my father, that he had actually met a man who could sell his own daughter like that, and he hadn't sensed anything strange. He was so afraid that he would make a similar mistake when judging someone else's character, and let that kind of person near to me," Anna recalled the story her father had told her. She wasn't sure if it was true, or just something her parents used to keep her in, but if was terrifying nevertheless.

That story hit a little too close to Elsa. While others were chattering about the subject, she gently shook Olaf awake. "I need to use the bathroom Olaf, you need to get up," she murmured softly.

When Olaf started to stir from his sleep, Elsa helped her down to his short legs. "There you go, fella, go to play with other kids." And Olaf waddled off.

That had gained adults attention, and she couldn't meet their eyes anymore. Especially Bulda's, who was starting to look increasingly worried. She was the only one who knew how close that story had exactly hit her. "May I be excused? I really need to use the ladies room," Elsa mumbled, even though she ought not to mumble, that made her seem rude and stupid, she knew that.

"Of course, dear," Bulda said with gentle tone. Elsa had already started to get up before the answer.

She hoisted herself towards the upstairs, putting extra weight on her right wrist. She needed some pain to focus on. Elsa didn't like pain, but she liked crying in front of others even less. Maybe she was a little wrong in head, but focusing on manageable pain always helped her to stop the involuntary tears trailing down to her cheeks.

* * *

"I knew I would find you up here," Kristoff said when he peered into the small space.

Elsa looked at him, but didn't say anything. She was laying on that old mattress that used to be her bed so long time ago, and read some silly novel that was left on the attic, probably from Elsa's teenager years.

Kristoff sat on the bed, next to Elsa, old springs squeaking under his weight. "I can't help but wonder, how did you climb up that ladder? You shouldn't be putting weight on that injured leg of yours, you know that. I'm worried that you'll hurt yourself even worse, Elsa. You shouldn't push your body over its limits, you are still healing," Kristoff chastised Elsa with gentle, but serious tone.

Elsa just pursed her lips, but still didn't say anything. Kristoff still understood her. It wasn't too hard for a man, who was certain he could understand dogs, even though they never said anything aloud.

"Anna told me what happened," he changed the topic to the thing he actually wanted to talk about.

"She thinks—knows, that I'm a freak, now?" Elsa asked with a defeated tone.

"You're not a freak, and she doesn't think you are one," Kristoff answered strictly. "And she doesn't even know about your past, not really." Elsa looked up surprised, but a hint of hesitated hope evident on her face. "She told me about the story she narrated, and how you excused yourself to bathroom, but never came back. I understood immediately why you left, so I explained to her that you were fine, but hearing about fathers like that always make you sad, you needed a moment alone. She understood and apologized for upsetting you. You told her that you didn't have the best biological father, right? So I don't think this revealed her anything she didn't already know."

"Thank you, Kristoff, for telling her that. You're a good brother," Elsa said, honestly. She couldn't be more grateful for Kristoff's way of handling that situation. She had been so afraid she had completely blew everything up with her incapability of handling her own emotions.

"I try," he grinned softly. "So, do you want to talk about it?"

Elsa pursed her lips and looked at her hands. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it. Kristoff rarely actually wanted to have deep conversations, he wasn't really good with them. Elsa didn't blame him, she wasn't good at many things. But then again, she kind of wished for someone to tell her that she was overthinking and what she thought, couldn't be true.

"Do you think the man Anna's father was talking about could be my father?" Elsa asked quietly.

"Honestly, I have to say I do think he might be. I mean, a business man turned out to be into child trafficking, there's probably limited amount of them, at least I hope so. We don't really know, where the story takes place, but most likely within thirty years. So yeah, I think there's a high change he could be your father. Besides, didn't you always say, that you thought your father really loved your mother?"

"Yeah, I think he did. Not that I could be sure of that, though. But it feels weird, to think that he had ever talked proudly of me, or had my picture inside his wallet. I only ever remember him talking proudly of me, when he was negotiating about a price with customers, and he had my picture just for the new ones. He never had one in his wallet to look at fondly when he was away," Elsa told with melancholic apathy.

Kristoff didn't have any words for that. How did one say anything to that? What could he say?_ 'Aww man, it sucks that your father liked to sell you to random dudes for some quick cash'? _It was hard to talk with Elsa about the subjects, because there was nothing he could do or say to right the wrong she had faced in her childhood. He could only awkwardly pat her hand to show her his support the best way he could.

"I just can't get this thought out of my head—this thing where—I, mean—I don't know," Elsa struggled with her words.

"What you can't get out of your head?" Kristoff prompted.

"What if—could it—do you think that Anna's father might been one of the men who—you know," Elsa forced out.

"I—what—No! No way! Anna wouldn't know, wouldn't she? His father would be in jail right now, wouldn't he?" Kristoff stammered, shocked.

"I don't know. What if he never went to trials? It's so hard for me to remember them all, I don't know if all of them were there," Elsa admitted. She tried her hardest to remember all the men she helped to put behind the bars, but she couldn't remember or recognize any of them in her mind anymore.

"No, he wouldn't, he couldn't. He had met that man when you were only a little newborn, and Anna said she has been in England her whole life, and her parents seemed to hate Norway." Elsa opened her mouth to speak, but Kristoff beat her at it: "And probably Sweden too. He was repulsed of that business man's actions. Besides, Anna is so sweet and kind, how could her father be such a monster?"

Elsa looked so hurt it almost broke Kristoff's heart. He just didn't understand why, before Elsa spoke: "You think I'm like my father?"

Kristoff's eyes widened in shock when he understood what he had implied. "Oh gosh no! Of course no! You're nothing like him! You're sweet and kind and wonderful and you could never hurt anyone on purpose. I'm so sorry for saying anything like that, I'm so sorry."

"I know, it's alright. I understand," Elsa murmured. "But you really don't think Anna's father might've—?"

"Absolutely no, I'm sure of it," Kristoff said with hundred percent of certainty in his voice. _There was no way Anna's father couldn't do anything like that. Kristoff hadn't met him, but Anna loved and trusted in him, he couldn't be a bad man. But then again, Anna had loved and trusted Hans. But that was a completely different thing, wasn't it?_

"Thank you, Kristoff. I feel a little better now," Elsa said with a slight relief.

Kristoff pushed all the unpleasant thoughts away and asked: "Would you like to read Donald Duck with me? Like we used to when we were kids?"

A wide, childish smile broke on Elsa's face. "Yes please!"

Kristoff took a random comic book from the box and started to make space for himself next to Elsa. "Scooch in," he ordered, and took the girl in his arms so that Elsa's head was laying on his shoulder. It was a little tight on the bed for two of them, but it brought out fond childhood memories for him.

"Are you sure Anna will be okay alone, down there with our family?" Elsa asked, feeling a little unsure about leaving their friend there.

"She's a big girl, she will survive a while without us. Plus she's Anna, she won't feel lonely with people surrounding her," Kristoff grinned, easing Elsa's worries.

Then he started to read the comic, with funny voices. Elsa felt so good and content in his arms. She felt nostalgic and over all, it was just so good to have her brother all for herself again, even if it was just a short moment. It was so important for her to know, that he still cared for her, loved her, even if he had Anna now.


	17. Chapter 17

"Good morning girls, did you sleep well?" Bulda asked immediately when Elsa and Anna entered the dining room.

"Yes, thank you for asking," Anna smiled and casted a look for Elsa. Elsa just nodded, agreeing.

Everyone else was already on the dinner table. Elsa and Anna had both wanted to shower before breakfast, so they were a little late. Anna had helped Elsa with her hair for so long, that she hadn't had time to blow her own. Now her wet hair was trickling down to the back of her shirt, but Anna didn't mind. It was so nice that Elsa allowed her to do her hair.

Elsa sat down next to Kristoff, opposite to Olaf. After sitting down, she seemed conflicted, like she was unsure if it was okay for her to sit next to Kristoff when Anna was there. Her posture was frigid and she looked as if she had made a terrible mistake. Before Elsa could get up and apologize, or do something else Elsa-like, Anna sat down next to her, opposite to Bulda, and smiled.

"I swear, Elsa, you're trying to steal my girlfriend. First I find her sleeping against your shoulder on the motel room, then she basically begs to sleep with you in your room, instead of mine—," Kristoff started listing, but Anna interrupted him.

"Hey! I didn't beg. I asked nicely," she pouted.

"You begged," Kristoff stated. "And now this, I don't even get to eat my breakfast with my girlfriend," Kristoff moaned dramatically.

"I can move," Elsa offered quickly and started seeking for her crutches.

Anna put her hand on the crutches to disable Elsa from taking them. "Don't you dare," she said to Elsa. Then she fixed her eyes on Kristoff and smirked: "Quit being such a sore loser."

"Anna just wants to sleep with Elsa 'cuz you smell like a wet dog," Olaf grinned, his mouth full of porridge.

Bulda chastised the child for talking with his mouth full, but looked fairly amused. Kristoff glared his little brother and Pabbie looked indifferent. Anna, on the other hand, almost spit her cranberry juice out, and even Elsa was trying to hide her smirk by looking down.

"Hey, I don't smell like a wet dog!" Kristoff protested.

"I love you, Kris, but you kinda do," Anna said, laughing. For that, Elsa gave her an uncharacteristic grin with a hint of mischief in it. Anna couldn't help but mirror it. Kristoff pouted like child.

After Anna, Elsa started lapping porridge on her plate. While her hands were occupied, Kristoff pushed handful of pills in front of her, trying to be as discreet as possible, all the while holding up a conversation. Anna understood that the act wasn't meant for her eyes, so she ignored it, as well as she could. She couldn't help but see Elsa carefully examine every single pill, before starting to pop them in her mouth. Elsa looked uncomfortable, as if she was doing something highly embarrassing, in public.

"So Elsa, how's your therapy going? Is the medication working?" Bulda asked suddenly, after she noticed Elsa swallowing the last pill. Elsa almost choked on water she was flushing the pills with. _And Anna thought she had no tact._

"F-f-f-fine," Elsa stuttered, looking mortified. Kristoff looked horrified, also, his mouth hanging a little.

Bulda didn't seem to get a hint. So before she could say anything else, Anna rushed to help Elsa out of the uncomfortable situation the best way she could, by drawing the attention to herself. "Therapists, am I right!" Anna sighed dramatically, looking at Elsa, trying to detect if she was okay with Anna's tactic.

She was frowning, but looked a little curious, so Anna went on, exaggerating her story as much as she could with her tone and movements of hands: "One time, I told my parents that if they wouldn't let me go to one concert I really wanted to go, it would damage my mental health so much that I would need therapy for the rest of my life. And they would have to pay for it, naturally, as they had caused it."

Anna kept a small pause. Long enough to let the story sink in, short enough to not to let anyone ask questions. She glanced Elsa, she looked grateful enough for the distraction Anna was causing. "So then my parents just shooed me to my room, told me that I wasn't allowed to go. I was so angry that I slammed my door and threw every single book in the bookshelf against my door, to let my parents know my rage. The next day, there was a strange lady with my father, greeting me. Apparently, my parents got me a therapist, _like I had asked for. _I was forced to have a meeting with her every single week for a year!" Anna yelled and threw her arms in the air dramatically.

"That wasn't even the worst part. It was that the whole therapist thing was completely bullcrap. My parents were paying for her to sit there and nod emphatically to anything I had to say, she wasn't there to help me at all. I mean, is that even legal? Aren't therapists like required to try and help their patients? I had to beg my parents to not to force me to have those sessions anymore. And they were so smug about it too. Are parents meant to annoy their children? Because I swear, my parents knew how to twist my words to bite me on the arse later."

The ending of the story was calculated, it was to move the conversation from its tracks. And it was working, soon they were talking about parenting and other different topics, anything else but Elsa's therapy sessions she was clearly unwilling to share about. Maybe someday, Elsa would like to share about her traumatic childhood, which Anna assumed was the cause for her therapy, but that day wasn't today.

Rest of the dinner went nicely. No other incidents happened, not until Olaf had already ran off and Pabbie had adjourned for his studies. Anna was helping Elsa up, and Kristoff was also standing up when Bulda stopped them with her voice: "Nope, you're not going anywhere. I think we have something to talk about."

Her voice was uncharacteristically strict, and all the three of the young adults stopped their tracks immediately. Elsa almost fell over because of her state of freeze and bad grip on a crutch. Luckily Anna was there to catch her in time. All of their hearts were pounding in anticipation, like children waiting to be scolded.

Then Bulda pointed Elsa, whose face immediately drained from all color, until Bulda spoke again: "Not you dear, you may go. I'm sure it wasn't your idea." Elsa hesitantly started to retire. "You two, we're going to have some serious talk about car safety, right now. Did you think I forgot?" Bulda told to the remaining two.

Kristoff and Anna looked at each other and gulped. They were in some serious trouble.

* * *

After some hardcore scolding she had received, Anna walked into the living room. Elsa was sitting on the couch, caressing Olaf's hair absent mindedly. Olaf was sitting on the floor, Sven next to him. Olaf's arm was casually on the huge dog's back, making the short limb look even tinier. They were watching cartoons. It was strange, in an amusing way, to see the normally serious Elsa laughing at something that was meant for kids. It was actually really nice to see Elsa laugh, she rarely did that, now that Anna was thinking about it.

"Hey you," Anna said softly, catching the pair's attention. They both turned to look at her.

"Was mom hard on you?" Elsa asked, sympathetically.

"Yeah. Reminded me of my own parents actually. I didn't know your mom could be so strict. Maybe they should meet when my parents come here in fall break. Anyway, we're going back home with a train," Anna told nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders.

Before Elsa could say anything, Kristoff came in the room with Pabbie and announced: "And now we are watching childhood videos, so buckle up and enjoy the ride."

"Oh no. Please no," Elsa pleaded.

"Oh yes," Kristoff huffed. "This is our punishment, mom's getting creative," Kristoff grouched and helped Pabbie down on the armchair.

"What am I punished for?" Elsa cried out with a high pitched voice. "Have mercy," she moaned pitifully, trying to fold herself to be as small as possible.

"C'mon you two, stop being such drama queens. This is not a punishment, they are really cute videos. So shut your mouths and lets watch these," Bulda entered the room and hushed her children's complains.

The she proceeded to put the cassette in. Anna sat next to Elsa and Kristoff sat next to her. Bulda scooped up Olaf and brought him to sit with her, on the other couch. When the video started Kristoff groaned loudly and Elsa hid her face behind her hands.

The first video was from a beautiful summer day. They were on the beach of a small lake. Kristoff, who was fourteen at the time, was standing ankles deep in water. There were two kids swimming, but it was hard for Anna to really see what they looked like. The camera was focused on Elsa's face, who was sitting on the towel with a small boy.

Elsa was sickly skinny and her naturally pale skin looked waxy and unhealthy. She looked a little strange with her almost white eyebrows and eyelashes. Nowadays, Elsa colored them to be darker, it was different to see them with their natural color. Elsa was fully clothed with a dress that covered her from neck to halfway of her shins, despite it being seemingly hot day. The boy next to her was unfamiliar to Anna, but he was dressed in shorts and t-shirt. They had a book between them, that they had most likely been reading before they were interrupted.

"Elsa and Isaac, don't you want to go to swim with others at all?" a deep male voice asked.

Isaac just shook his head. Elsa answered with her blue eyes wide open, looking like a skittish little rabbit: "No, sir."

The man started saying something, but suddenly someone was screaming farther away, maybe Kristoff. Something was flying towards Elsa's head. For a second Anna was able to see Elsa's head turn to see the object and her face twist in horror. The man with the camera managed to see and catch the flying object, before it made contact with Elsa's head, but then the camera dropped.

"Let this be the last time I ever see you do anything like this!" the man hollered, but the vision was black. He was rushing away from the camera, yelling at someone, but then the video cut and Anna was a little confused.

"Those were the twins we fostered while back. They threw a rock at Elsa. Though, I think they were actually trying to hit Isaac. Luckily the twins were reunited with their own family soon after. They were real trouble, those two. Isaac on the other hand, found a nice adoptive parents little over a year later," Kristoff explained to Anna.

"We took another boy and his infant brother soon after Isaac left and then we got Olaf. When my husband died, God bless his soul, we found a new foster home for the boys. I couldn't offer them the care they needed anymore. But we decided to keep Olaf, special children like him are harder to relocate and he's such a sweetheart, this place would be so empty without him," Bulda said and hugged the child tightly. Olaf just giggled happily.

Then the next video started. At first Anna could barely see anything, the camera was shaking and there was something blocking the vision. But then it straightened up and Anna saw that they were in an ice ring. Kristoff was in front of the camera, looking quite sour. Anna glanced the upper right corner to see the year the video was taken, Kristoff was fifteen in that, though he looked a little younger. There was still quite a lot of baby fat on his cheeks and his body hadn't shaped out yet.

"Do you have to video this? I don't want anyone to see me with these," video-Kristoff grumbled, and lifted his legs to show what he didn't want others to see on him. They were skates for figure skating. That had probably been a hard blow for young Kristoff's masculinity. Anna had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning.

"The dance you've been training is so good, we have to record it. Off you go," a voice said, that Anna assumed was Bulda's. Then arms appeared to push Kristoff farther on the ice.

Muttering disgruntledly something incoherent Kristoff skated off. The camera followed him and soon she could see another person on the ice, waiting for Kristoff. It was Elsa. There barely was any of that graceful attractiveness that Elsa seemed to so easily possess these days. Younger Elsa looked awkward, she was most likely in her full height, but her figure hadn't caught up with her growth yet. She looked like Slender Man with her long and skinny limbs attached to her scrawny body. She was wearing a light skating jacket that hugged her body enough to show that there wasn't really anything yet.

Elsa's posture was rigid and she looked like she was trying to make herself disappear into herself. Elsa wasn't really the picture of confidence today either, but the child Elsa looked so insecure about herself that Anna just wanted to go and give her a hug. But then the music started and the kids started to dance on the ice. Kristoff still looked awkward, though not clumsy. But Elsa, Elsa looked like an angel, flying on that ice.

"Isn't our Elsa the most gracious thing on the ice?" Bulda asked Anna, her voice laced with awe.

"She truly is," Anna breathed out, unable to tear her eyes apart from the screen. "How aren't you in Olympics, Elsa? Or are you?"

"Oh the poor thing has the worst case of stage fright. She only ever had one small competition, and she ended up so sick on stomach that she had to withdraw in the last minute," Bulda explained for Elsa. "She just skates for herself. This is from the phase when she really wanted to try figure skating with a pair, but she didn't want to skate with anyone she didn't know. Kristoff, always the great brother, offered to be her pair."

"I think he regretted his chivalry," Anna grinned and glanced at Kristoff. In the video, young-Kristoff was just lifting his sister for a spin. Kristoff was a little shorter than Elsa, but much bulkier than his scrawny sister, so it didn't look too hard.

"He definitely complained a lot, especially about videoing it. But never once did he say that he wanted to stop skating with Elsa," Bulda said, looking warmly at her son.

"It made Elsa so happy," Kristoff said, as if he was defending himself. "Besides, the phase wasn't too long. Elsa realized really fast that she was better alone and could do less limited choreographies."

The video ended with Elsa and Kristoff holding hands, standing next to each other and bowing to the camera. It was all so very cute that Anna couldn't help the long "aww" escaping her lips. And so they kept watching all kinds of videos all the way to the graduation of the siblings.

* * *

Anna and Elsa were in Elsa's room, getting ready for the bed. Anna was rubbing Elsa's sore shoulder gently. Elsa hadn't complained about the pain that the crutches were causing for her injured arm, but Anna could easily see how Elsa avoided doing anything with her right hand. She had hung it limply on her side, shoulder tensed, and Anna couldn't help but offer to massage it a little bit. Elsa had refused, of course, but Anna was good at convincing. Judging from the pleased little sighs Elsa couldn't keep in, Anna assumed she enjoyed the rub.

Their nice moment was ruined by Anna's phone ringing. "Damn it, my mom's Skyping me," Anna said, twisting her body as if looking for something, unsure how to proceed.

"That's okay, I'll leave to give you some privacy," Elsa smiled and got up.

"No, no, no. It's your room, you don't have to leave," Anna assured.

"It's alright, Anna. I'll just go to speak with Pabbie for a while. See you later," Elsa said calmly and left.

After the door was closed, Anna pressed the answer button. "Hey mom."

"Are going to make it a habit to let me call for you forever, before answering?" Iduna asked sternly with her mother-tone.

"No mother. I was with Elsa, she wanted me to have some privacy, so I waited till she was gone, before answering," Anna explained, suddenly feeling a little tired.

"Oh, that's nice of her. You're with Kristoff's family now, right honey?" Anna nodded, so she asked the second question: "Have you liked it there?"

"Yes, mom. It's wonderful in here. The house is lovely. Kristoff's mom is so nice to me," Anna decided to exclude the part where they were scolded for driving to North with a car for two. There was no reason to worry her parents too and get another scolding. She had a feeling that her parents wouldn't end it with a cute family video watching time. So Anna just kept gushing: "Pabbie is so smart, I think he's smarter than you and dad even. He's an old doctor and he seems to know everything. And Olaf is so cute! He's eight-years-old, but he's so tiny. He's actually a dwarf—wait. Is it okay for me to say dwarf? Is it offensive?"

"I don't know, honey," Iduna said with the voice that she used when she tried to stop Anna's rambling, but Anna was too far gone.

"Anyway, he's so cute. And they have like a ton of cute cousins too! The family is so big, I love it! And Elsa is letting me sleep in her room. She kind of hates sharing a room with other people, but she agreed to share with me. I might've bribed her with some chocolates, but mom, we have so nice time together. Elsa is amazing! She lets me do her hair, which is like—mom, her hair is like wow. And then we eat chocolate together, and she listens when I ramble about things. I can't wait till you meet her in fall! She's like a sister—," Anna explained excitedly, until Iduna interrupted her.

"She's not your sister," Iduna said with a cold tone, so uncharacteristic for her that Anna was immediately threw off the loop.

"I know, mom, I meant—," Anna tried again, but Iduna didn't let her explain.

"She's not your sister, and she will never be. I want you to stop this nonsense about sisters right now. End of discussion."

"I—um—okay," Anna stammered, unsure of what to say.

"I really need to go, honey. Let's talk about this later, I have work to do. I'll send your love to your father, okay. I love you, bye," her mother hurried with the excuses and goodbyes.

"Okay, bye," Anna said to the silent line.

She sat quietly alone for a while, until Elsa knocked the door. Soon she peeked in, after Anna didn't answer anything.

"Are you done?" she asked.

Anna only nodded. Elsa slid in the room, barely making any noise. "Was it a bad conversation?" Anna nodded her head. "Do—do you want to talk about it?" Anna shook her head. "W-w-would you like me to—um—read for you?" Elsa asked, feeling unsure about herself. She wasn't good at comforting others. _Kristoff read to her when she was upset, and it made her feel better, maybe it would work on Anna too._

Anna seemed to think so too, as she enthusiastically nodded her head for the suggestion. So Elsa took the Brothers Lionheart from the bookshelf. It had been her favorite book as a child, she had read it over and over again. She had spent so many hours of thinking her mother waiting for her in Nangijala, and that someday she would send her a beautiful white dove as a message. She never did. Her mother never came, not as a dove or as an angel. She was dead and gone.

Elsa shook the sad memories away and popped herself gracefully down to the bed. Then she made way for Anna and patted the bed. Anna seemed unsure, she even asked if Elsa really wanted her on her bed. Elsa just nodded and smiled. Then they cuddled in a way that felt even more intimate as the one in the motel room.

"I've never heard of this book. What is it about?" Anna asked.

"It's about a sickly boy whose brother dies saving him from a burning house. He misses his brother dearly, but when he finally succumbs to his illness, he meets his brother again in afterlife. It's a place called Nangijala," Elsa explained carefully the main plot.

"Elsa, what do **_you_** think happens after death?"

"You wouldn't like my answer," Elsa dodged the question.

"I want to hear it anyway," Anna pressed.

"I believe that there's nothing. Life is a meaningless bundle of sufferings and joys between nonexistence. There was nothing before life and nothing after, just this one life," Elsa tried to enlighten her dark thoughts as much as she possibly could with words.

"Wow, that's dark," Anna pointed out.

"I said you wouldn't like my answer."

"Oh I liked it. Even if I don't agree, now I know more about you," Anna smiled at her.

It felt so good Anna said that to Elsa. For a moment, Elsa wondered was that light feeling in her chest happiness. She just couldn't help but return the smile. Then she started reading.

* * *

**A/N** My birthday is in two days, and I'm wondering, am I too old to write Frozen fanfics? But the fluff between Elsa and Anna is just so cute, I can't help it. I love me some good angst, but it's the cute moments between angst that really makes me want to write. Just don't let my friends know that I'm not really over fangirling Frozen, and we'll all good. If they ask, I'm doing taxes and other adult stuff. There's really some stuff I'm itching to get to write, but I can't rush, it's killing me. Anyway, see you in the next chapter, which is hopefully up within a week. Bye!


	18. Chapter 18

"I can't believe we're leaving tomorrow already. The week went so fast," Anna wondered aloud.

She was laying on the grass, listening the sounds of nature and Elsa's steady breathing. Elsa's left cheek was almost pressed against Anna's left cheek, as they enjoyed the beautiful day of the late summer. Fall was coming fast, and the leaves were already starting to yellow. Both of the girls wished that the moment would never end, that they could just stay in their own little world, in middle of the countryside, free from the worries of the weekdays.

"Elsa, Anna, the food is ready!" Kristoff yelled from the grill, where he was helping Bulda with the dinner.

Bulda had immediately shooed Elsa out of the kitchen when she had tried to take part in cooking. And when Anna had offered her help, Kristoff had just asked her to accompany his sister instead. At first they had felt bad about letting Kristoff, Bulda, and even Olaf, who was removing the calyxes from strawberries on the patio, do all the work. But after laying on that grass for a while, all their problems just vanished away, there was nothing but the two of them.

Reluctantly Anna got up from the ground, and dusted the knees of her overalls from loose pieces of grass. Then she helped Elsa on her feet, and gave her the crutches she needed to walk. Elsa's knees buckled and she would have fallen back to the ground, had Anna not been there to keep her up.

"Are you alright?" Anna asked worriedly.

"Yes, of course. I just felt a little light headed from getting up so fast," Elsa assured and balanced herself with her crutches.

Anna just nodded and they started walking towards the outdoor dining area. Anna didn't say anything more, but she kept stealing glances to make sure that Elsa was looking okay. Elsa seemed to be just fine, no wobbling or looking dizzy, so Anna felt in ease again. It probably really was just passing light headiness from getting up too fast. Not completely unfamiliar feeling for Anna herself. Maybe Kristoff had just rubbed his overprotectiveness of Elsa onto her.

"Sit down girls, everything is ready!" Kristoff announced proudly. He was wearing a black apron, his green flannel shirt had its sleeves rolled up to the elbow, and he was holding a plate full of steaming hot burgers. Frankly, Anna had never been as attracted to him as she was right then and there.

"Alright," Bulda exclaimed and slapped her meaty hands together, after everyone had sat down to the table. "This is like our Last Supper, would you like to pray, Anna?" she asked and looked straight to the girl.

Anna felt intimated and uncomfortable. "Umm," was all she was able to utter. She tried to look Kristoff and Elsa for help.

"Mother—," Kristoff started, but Bulda didn't let him finish.

"Oh, silly me. I forgot completely to ask you if you even are religious," Bulda chuckled. The statement itself wasn't shaped as question, but Anna understood that it was one. Yet again she felt insecure and unsure about herself. She tried to find clues from her companions' faces to help her know what to answer. Bulda saw that: "Oh, no need to be afraid my dear. There's no wrong answers, we don't discriminate here. My husband was a man of God, I myself try to follow my Lord's way as often as I just remember to." Then she turned to Elsa and added: "Our Elsa here, on the other hand, is—what did you call yourself again, honey?" Bulda frowned as she was trying to think out the word.

"I'm an atheist, mom," Elsa mumbled, her head low.

"Yes, an atheist. Elsa's so bashful about religious subjects, don't mind her, there's nothing to be ashamed of what you believe in or what you don't," Bulda assured her.

Feeling a little more confident, but not less awkward, Anna answered the original question: "I'm not really sure about my religion. I mean, I believe that there's something greater, looking out for us, but I don't necessarily believe in bible. I do belong to a church, though, as does my mother, but I didn't have that religious upbringing. We didn't really go to services outside of Christmas or pray before dinner."

"Oh, that's okay. I think most of the youngsters here nowadays are like that, you'll fit in just right. Don't you have similar faith, Kristoff?" Bulda asked with a smile. Anna felt in ease to be met with such a positive response. You never knew when someone would blew of if you didn't believe in the exact same thing. Religion had never really been a topic in their dinner table, back at home. Actually, nothing that could have caused disagreement, had been allowed to be talked about.

"Yes mom. Something like that," Kristoff said, but looked at Anna with a warm smile. Anna mirrored it.

The little awkward but good spirited conversation ended abruptly when Elsa reached her left hand towards the back of her neck for scratching a terrible itch she had. Her sleeves were rolled halfway to her elbow and the motion made them drop all the way. The sight made Bulda cry out: "Jesus Christ, where did that came from?"

All the heads turned to see what the wuss was about. Even Elsa seemed examine her arm with confusion. What she saw, was a huge purple bruise covering her whole elbow and more. _How hadn't she noticed it earlier? _"Must've came from that hit on the drawer, yesterday," Elsa wondered aloud.

"A hit against a drawer shouldn't cause that big of a bruise, Elsa," Pabbie said with a serious tone. "When will you have the kidney and liver control tests?"

Elsa frowned in concentration. She opened her mouth to answer, but Kristoff beat her in it: "In two days. Should we call to her doctor and reschedule it sooner? Should we have the tests taken here, today?" His tone was almost borderline hysterical.

"No, no, I don't think there's such a rush. Two days will be soon enough," Pabbie said, thoughtful. "What symptoms you have, and how long?" he then asked Elsa, his voice was strict. Anna had a feeling that this wasn't the first time Elsa had delayed telling her family about her health problems.

"Just itching, and I've felt a little more tired and weak than usually. It has only been for couple of days and I just thought it might be the changing scenery and dry skin," Elsa tried to shrug it off, but her voice had a nervous waver in it. Whether it was from being the center of attention, or from the possibility of being ill, Anna didn't know.

"Couple of days! Why haven't you said anything?" Kristoff all but screamed.

"Kristoff, calm down. Elsa will be alright," Pabbie assured. Then he turned to Elsa. "You just go to those tests, dear. I think your medication needs to be doubled up, it doesn't slow the process down enough anymore. You know you ought to tell someone if you have any symptoms, no matter how insignificant they feel to you. Your ego should never come in the way of your health," Pabbie lectured her.

Elsa hung her head low and mumbled: "I know, Pabbie. I'll say something sooner the next time."

"Let's hope there won't next time," he said, tight-lipped. Unfortunately, as a doctor, he knew that there most likely would be.

"Okay! So tell me girls, are you excited to start the school in a week," Bulda changed the grim topic. Everyone felt a little relieved. Though, talking about school wasn't exactly Elsa's favorite thing to do. She liked school, well at least the school work, she just had some troubles with attending the school. It wasn't unknown that Elsa only ever went to the classes that had mandatory attendance. Though, this year she had promised to herself to try to do better.

* * *

Elsa couldn't sleep. The itching had grew to be almost intolerable. Also, her legs had that uncomfortable feeling that forced her to fidget them. Moving helped, but if she stopped, the feeling came back. Over all, Elsa felt restless and anxious. Laying felt insufferable, she felt need to get up and walk, to do anything but stay still. She knew that the severity of her uncomfortableness was caused by the knowledge that she was ill again.

Elsa knew that it was her kidney, this wasn't the first time. Her liver didn't function exactly properly, but it hadn't gotten worse after her sepsis had first caused the failure. Her kidney, on the other hand, was getting progressively worse. The medication slowed it down and the doctors had even be hopeful that it could stop the progress altogether, but Elsa didn't share that faith.

Somedays she even wished her kidney would just stop working. Nothing was worse than living with a ticking time bomb, never being sure if she would be fine tomorrow. If the kidney stopped working, she would either get a new one, or die. She didn't know anymore which option she would prefer.

Elsa wasn't afraid of death, but dying itself terrified her. It wasn't her fault that survival was the strongest instinct that a human had. And a human she was, no matter how dehumanizing some of her experience in life had been, how she was treated as property to be sold in favor of her owner. Elsa still had her human nature, she had learned to adapt and survive. It didn't matter that she didn't know was all the pain and suffering worth it in the end, her instincts were stronger than her mind.

So often people told her to stop bowing to others and stand for herself, to start living for herself. It was easy for them to say. How could she unlearn the very thing that had kept her alive for so long, had made her survival possible? Some of the men she had met would have bashed her head against the wall to paint it red before she had time to blink, if she had stood for herself. Often she wondered, if she had just learned to submit earlier in her life, if she hadn't cried as a baby, if she hadn't complained as a toddler, would her father liked her more. And sometimes, Elsa couldn't help but think, did her own actions even matter. Had she already committed a crime too heinous to be forgiven, before she couldn't even remember? Was her mother's death her fault?

During the week, the thought had looped in her brain like a broken record. She couldn't shake the knowledge off that her father had possibly liked her at some point of her life. If it was true, she must have done something to make him dislike her. If her father had indeed loved her mother, would it be too farfetched to assume that maybe Elsa had something to do with her early demise? Had she spent her whole life wishing for someone she herself had murdered, to come back to save her from her misery? That was just twisted, she was a monster.

"Pst, Elsa. I know you're awake," Anna whispered in the dim room. Elsa turned to look at her. Instead of laying on her mattress, Anna was standing next to the window. _How did she get up without Elsa noticing? _"The sky is awake, so I am awake," Anna said with awe in her voice.

Elsa sat up and frowned. "Really? It's not really even a fall yet," she wondered aloud. Northern lights usually came a little later in fall.

Elsa patted to the window and peered out. There indeed were some thin green lines on the sky. Nothing special for a girl who had grew up in North, barely visible. But Anna seemed awestruck. _Who was she to ruin her happiness? _

"Is something troubling you?" Anna then asked and searched Elsa's eyes.

"It's just this itching, it won't go away," Elsa admitted the half-truth.

"Could I show you the way my mother always helped me to sleep?" Anna asked, feeling a little nervous. Her request was a little strange, she was well aware, but for some reason she really wanted to share that with Elsa. "It could help you to fall asleep too. It's so late and we have really early morning tomorrow."

Elsa, too, felt conflicted. She had never really had a special mother-daughter sleeping-thing. If her mother had done something to help her sleep, she had been too young to remember. Then she had been too old and skittish to form that kind of special bond with Bulda. But she was curious to know how Anna had experienced mother's love that her own childhood had lacked, so she nodded.

Anna grinned ear to ear, and Elsa immediately knew she had made the right choice. "Okay, we have to lay on the bed. C'mon, skootch in."

Elsa and Anna snuggled together. It wasn't the first time, but this kind of intimacy was so new for Elsa, she felt a little overwhelmed. However, soon all the anxiousness started to melt away, as Anna started to sing. Her voice was soft and quiet, but Elsa heard her just fine. The lyrics of the lullaby were about some river with memories.

Anna then started stroking the bridge of Elsa's nose with her pinky. Elsa had never experienced that level of calmness before, at least not that she could remember to. It felt like all the nervousness rapidly escaped her cells and left her feeling content and in peace. It was strange how a song she had never heard before, could feel like it was made for her to listen. And how the act she had never experienced before, the stroking of the bridge of her nose, made her feel like a little child, safe in her mother's arms.

The sleep claimed her much faster than she would have cared to admit. Soon the peaceful, dreamless slumber found its way and made Elsa its willing participant. Not that Anna lasted long after. She fell asleep with the next line of the song still hanging in her mouth. They slept like logs till the morning, in each other's arms.

* * *

**A/N **A little shorter chapter again. This has more insight into Elsa and Anna's minds. Some of the stuff I reveal, will be important further in the story, some are here just for you to know more about the way they think. Not spoiling which is which, though. I hope you ejoyed the chapter,see you in the next one!


	19. Chapter 19

The last two weeks had been horrible for Elsa. She had felt sick and exhausted from the moment she woke up to the moment she fell asleep. Her sleep had been plagued with nightmares of her being a prisoner in a hospital. She could barely rest with the terror she felt in her dreams, being tied in a bed and poked with needles. _Gosh, how much Elsa hated hospitals._

Of course her misery might have been also related to the fact that her kidneys didn't properly work, and she had been anemic. Besides, her leg's pain had been pure suffering for her. She had almost considered just cutting it off, altogether. But the fear of phantom pains had kept her in bay with the kitchen's meat knife. It didn't really help her agony, that it had took a solid week for them to find the accurate medication to balance her kidneys back up. Now she was doing just fine. Though she had had a proper scare. _Was her life really worth living for? If it wasn't, why was the prospect of dying scaring her so greatly?_

Anna was taking her to the school, it was her second day after having some sick leave the first week of school. Usually Kristoff would help her around the campus, but Kristoff had a work shift at the time of her classes today. Normally, she wouldn't go there at all, if Kristoff wasn't there to help her through it, so depended she was. It had nothing to do with her moving with crutches, and everything to do with her being terrified in such a crowded places. Today, however, Anna had promised to help Elsa around and escort her to her classrooms.

Elsa would have felt embarrassed, but it helped that Anna thought it had more to do with her moving limitations, and less about her being a socially failed human being. She probably should tell Anna about her intense fear of people, and her traumatic childhood, to avoid awkward situations, like the ones they had had back at home, but she wasn't ready for that. Luckily, she had at least told Anna something about her past, because if her mother had revealed that Elsa was adopted before Elsa had a change, she would have already dug her own grave and buried herself alive in her own embarrassment.

"Oh hello, professor," Anna said suddenly with an awkward tone. Elsa's head shot up and she saw that they were already in front of the classroom. The door was open and her professor Gerda was sitting there. "Is it okay we come in already? I know we're really early, but Elsa here has some problems with moving around," Anna said conversationally and gestured Elsa's leg.

"Yes, yes of course. Come in," Gerda ushered. "What happened to you, my dear?" She asked with bewilderment.

"Uh, a car hit my bike," Elsa blurted out while she sat down. She wasn't good at talking with professors, or to anyone in that matter. She really liked Gerda though, she was always so good to Elsa, which was the reason she was able to say anything at all. Usually when she was asked something by professor, she froze and wasn't able to force any words out. It was miracle she had been able to survive in that school for so long, probably had something to do with her amazing success with testes and essays.

"For heaven's sake," Gerda gasped. "But wait, I don't think I've ever seen you before," Gerda then said to Anna, before turning her eyes back to Elsa. "Where is that darling brother of yours, doesn't he usually escort you to the classes?"

Anna frowned her brows in confusion, she probably wondered why would Kristoff escort her, but didn't say anything about it. She just plastered a smile on her face and waved a little. "Hi, I'm Anna! This is my first year here. I'm studying engineering though, not architecture like Elsa. I moved from England and Elsa is my neighbor and a darling friend. I promised to help her around, since Kristoff had to go to work."

"That's very sweet of you," Gerda smiled.

Anna just answered with a wide smile. Then she turned to Elsa and softly kissed her on the cheek. "I have to go to my own lecture now, it's like the other side of the campus. I'll see you after the class, okay?"

"Okay, bye," Elsa waved softly. Her cheeks were tinting pink because of a slight blush from the display of affection.

After Anna was gone, Gerda commented: "That's a sprightly girl."

"She is," Elsa agreed.

"I didn't except to see you here today. You know this lecture isn't mandatory, right?" Gerda frowned with slight confusion.

"Yeah, I—um—I decided to try to—you know—try to attend a little more this year," Elsa mumbled, feeling insecure about herself.

"Oh but that's a great thing to hear!" Gerda exclaimed. "I'd love to see you more around here, you're such a bright student, Elsa. The best student I have, if I may say."

"T-t-t-thank you," Elsa managed to stutter out. Her whole face was glowing crimson red, and she felt like her ears were on fire.

* * *

Anna was waiting for Elsa to finish her lecture. Anna's one had ended a little early, so Elsa didn't have to wait for her to run to her. She was really content of the situation, until she felt familiar bang in her lower abdomen. It made so much sense, considering the last two days. But they were almost a week early_, damn it!_

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Anna cursed and rummaged through her backpack. Her hand came out empty. "Fucking hell!" she hissed.

"Hey, are you okay," Elsa's gentle voice pulled her from her misery.

"Oh Elsa! My saving angel! Please tell me you have a tampon or anything with you," Anna pleaded theatrically.

But Elsa's reaction wasn't what she had expected. Elsa just pursed her lips and her whole body went frigid. "No, I really have to go now," her tone was so cold that she might as well have dropped a bucket of ice water on Anna. _She was just like—just like she had been at first._

Anna was so flabbergasted, that she didn't even get to react when Elsa started hoisting herself away hurriedly. "But you still have one class," Anna all but whispered after Elsa was only a distant figure faraway.

Anna didn't understand what had she done to upset Elsa so greatly. Of course Elsa was kind of prude about certain subjects, and she might've been a little embarrassed around the subject of periods, but Anna thought that her reaction had been overdone anyway. It wasn't like Anna had wanted to talk about the monthly bleedings, she just wanted a tampon. _Wasn't it like a girl code number one to always loan a tampon for a fellow girl?_

Sometimes Anna thought that they should have grew up in each other's households. Anna loved the openness in Bjorgman's family, where no discussion was out of the table. Elsa, however, reminded her so much of her own parents. She was a shutoff and refused to talk about uncomfortable subjects, and thought that bringing them up in a dinner table was improper, just like Anna's parents. Anna kind of wished she had born in the Bjorgman's family, instead. The love and warmness in the air in that house was so thick she could touch it. While she had never doubted her parent's love for her, they weren't that good of showing it, especially after she wasn't a child anymore. But then Anna realized, that if she was a Bjorgman, Kristoff would be her brother. The thought was so disturbing that she decided to drop the subject altogether.

She knew she probably should have followed Elsa and talk about things, but Elsa had been so cold. It always hurt when Elsa rejected her, though it didn't seem to happen too often anymore. Anna was still licking her wounds from the first time she had tried to hug Elsa, and the girl had all but slapped her straight on the face and refused to see her almost for a whole week. Besides, she was on her period, crying in the school hallway didn't seem too appealing to her. Let Elsa try and get home, Anna would go to her classes, and they would talk about it after they had both calmed down. _The plan sounded reasonable and good, but why was there now an openly flooding waterfall running down her cheeks?_

* * *

Anna came home after spending the evening in a café with her new friends. It was so nice to have other people around her, besides Kristoff and Elsa, she thrived on social interactions. It was all she had ever wanted while being locked up in that glorified prison she had called home. But it was hard to enjoy things when the non-argument with Elsa was weighting her down. She wanted to apologize and make things up, but she wasn't sure how because she didn't know what she had done wrong.

She was pondering whether she should go to Kristoff and Elsa's apartment and try to talk things out or just open her own door and try tomorrow, when Kristoff strode down the stairs with Sven and a bag of thrash. She immediately turned around to see him better and Kristoff halted after recognizing her too.

"Hey Anna, fancy meeting you here," Kristoff grinned.

"Uh, hey." Anna didn't waste time going where she wanted with that conversation: "Umm, is Elsa home?"

Kristoff narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yeah, she is. Tell me, did something happen in the school?"

"Why? Did she say something?" Anna probed rapidly.

"No, she didn't. But she wanted me to get her early, she refused to talk in the car, and she has been sulking in her room since then. So yeah, I'm pretty sure something happened. You know something about it?" Kristoff prompted.

"We'll, I really don't. I was just waiting for her in front of her classroom, minding my own business. Then I felt that familiar pinch, you know—you know?" Kristoff looked confused and Anna's cheeks flushed a little. It was so different to talk about such things with her friends, and completely different to talk about them with her kind-off-new boyfriend. "I mean, I um—I really needed you know—some tampons or something, Uh, yeah, anyway."

Kristoff's face flushed, but Anna tried her best to ignore it. "So when Elsa came, I naturally asked if she had some. And she just completely freaked out and left without saying anything more than 'no'. I don't get her problem! I mean, she's a girl, I'm a girl, it's completely normal to talk about such things. Every girl has periods, no need to be so prude about it!" Anna exclaimed, getting frustrated with Elsa's behavior.

"Yeah, everyone else but Elsa," Kristoff snapped a little harsher than he had intended to.

"Wait what?" Anna tilted her head in confusion.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. You didn't know, I shouldn't even talk about Elsa's things like that," Kristoff apologized.

"Elsa doesn't have periods?" Anna knew she should leave it for Elsa to tell, but she couldn't help herself.

Kristoff sighed and rubbed his neck: "I really shouldn't tell you, but maybe it would be easier for you to understand her behavior if you knew. You remember I told you that Elsa was really sickly child, right?"

"Yeah, you mentioned it the first time we talked, you know, without you yelling at me. I didn't really think it too much, not before I saw those home videos where Elsa looked so ill," Anna recalled.

"Well, because of her sickness, she has problems most don't at her age. You know about her intolerance of alcohol and her troubles with her kidneys, but the biggest one might be that her body doesn't really function like a normal young woman's body should. She doesn't get her periods and she can't really have her own children, like ever. Of course Elsa has never talked about her worries with me that much, but I know that her lack of normal women's bodily functions bothers her. You talking about periods so casually, reminds her of her own abnormality. It's still a little sore subject for Elsa, even though she has had plenty of time accepting it," Kristoff explained.

"I'm so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to make her feel like she's not normal woman or that there's something wrong with her. I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Anna maundered, horrified of the prospect what she might have made Elsa feel like.

"It's alright. Elsa knows you didn't mean anything by it. Knowing my sister, she's not really mad at you, she's just feeling sad and she's dwelling in her own sorrows. After she's done, she'll come out of her room and apologize you for being so rude back at the campus," Kristoff shrugged Anna's apologizes off.

"She doesn't have to apologize me anything! No, it me who should beg her forgiveness," Anna said with a determined tone.

Kristoff chuckled: "Well at least you two are similar in a way that you both are more than ready to sacrifice yourselves for the burden of guilt. You know what, I'll talk with my sister, and you don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? Shouldn't I do something, since I caused this?" Anna asked, frowning.

"It's alright, Elsa just needs some time. You two will be fine," Kristoff assured.

"You'll tell her I'm sorry, right?" Anna almost pleaded.

"Of course," Kristoff smiled and kissed her girlfriend gently on the lips for farewell. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Elsa?" Kristoff knocked his sister's door gently.

When no answer came, he opened the door anyway. The room was dark, the curtains were in front of the windows and no lights were on. Elsa was laying on her bed, her back towards Kristoff. She was completely still, but Kristoff could tell from her tense posture, that she wasn't sleeping. He could have betted all his money that if he could see Elsa's front, she would be holding her stuffed penguin in her arms and that faded picture of her family in her hands. She always did that when she was upset, she never cried. Only times Kristoff saw Elsa crying, was when she was overwhelmingly anxious or scared. And even then, Elsa usually managed to hide elsewhere to sob.

Kristoff strolled towards the bed and sat onto it. The bed shifted under his weight and Elsa had some trouble keeping her balance. "I saw Anna, she told me what happened today," Kristoff started.

Elsa didn't move or answer, so he went on: "She wanted to tell you that she was really sorry about it."

That did the trick, Elsa turned to face him. Her eyes were pale blue, unfocused and pained. Kristoff would never get used to Elsa's eyes without her darkening contact lenses. Elsa had once told him that she had gotten laser surgery for her poor eyesight as a child, but she still needed the darkening lenses for the light, as her eyes were so sensitive. She always wore them, without them she almost looked blind with how pale her eyes truly were, it was a little unsettling. In her arms, she indeed had her stuffed animal and the picture.

"She doesn't need to be, it wasn't her fault," Elsa said firmly.

"I know," Kristoff answered surely. "But it wasn't your fault either."

Elsa pursed her lips. She had been so content with the idea of blaming herself, that she didn't know what to say to that. "It's just so hard sometimes. Knowing how different I am."

"It's not always bad thing to be different. Elsa, we all love you just the way you are," Kristoff felt so sad knowing how his sister didn't ever feel like she fit in quite right.

Elsa smiled sadly: "I know, it's just hard that I've lost a part of my future before I was even able to understand it really." Then she joked weakly: "But it's alright. I mean, I probably never want to have my own children, after all. Because you know, for that the touching other people would have to happen, and I'm not really up to that stuff."

"You know that you will always be welcomed in my family, always," Kristoff said and rested his hand softly on Elsa's blanket covered leg, just above her knee. Elsa smiled, feeling a little touched. "My children will always be your children too." Seeing Elsa's face, Kristoff knew he should have left it with the first sentence.

After that, there was a moment of awkward silence, and Elsa coughed awkwardly. The double meaning of that sentence didn't go unnoticed, and because Elsa wasn't too socially capable human being, she didn't know how to just let it go. _How after all these years, it had to be so damn awkward between the two?_ Somehow they always managed to ruin a perfect moment.

"Uh yeah—I—I think I'll go to sleep now. Um—bye," Kristoff said, rubbed his neck, and awkwardly got up from the bed.

"Yeah, okay, good night." Elsa wished she had let it there, but then she stupidly added: "Bye." She smacked her head after Kristoff closed the door.

_Tomorrow, she would apologize for her behavior to Anna anyway._

* * *

**A/N **I know I'm earlyyy, but I'm going to be so busy for a year after June, that I'm just trying to write this as much as I can before it. I love you guys in the comment section, you really help me with this story. And it's really nice to hear that you read my previous story too, TitaniaErin. I also like to hear about your speculations where the story is going, though I can't really answer to those, without revealing anything. See you probably in the weekend, dunno. And as always, I hoped you liked the chapter, bye!


	20. Chapter 20

A familiar ringing of Skype woke Anna up. Her room was a mess and she herself probably looked like straight out of horror movie, but she was too tired to care and started looking for her phone anyway. Plus she had hardly heard anything of her mother since the last call had ended so abruptly. Anna wanted to make amends, though she was a little hurt from the way her mother had just pushed her away, only because she had dared to mention her attachment to Elsa.

But to her great surprise, it wasn't her mother who was calling, it was her father. Her father who hadn't called her even once after she had left the UK. Anna had a feeling that he was still holding a grudge against her for making her mother cry so. She could sense a passive aggressive hint in his text messages.

She pressed the answer button and even after reading the name, she was surprised to see her father's face on her phone. "Hey, papa."

"Hey. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine! I'm really excited to show you guys the places next week!" Anna grinned happily.

"Yes, I was calling about that," Agnarr's said hesitantly, Anna was immediately suspicious.

"What about it?" Anna asked with low, warning tone.

"Your mother and I, we cannot make it there next week, but—"

"But you promised! Is this because of what I said to mother last time she called?"

"Of course it isn't about that," Agnarr's voice wavered slightly and Anna knew immediately that he was lying. "But Anna, why did you have to say such things to your mother? You know how sensitive she is with the subject."

"I didn't mean it the way she took it! I just wanted to tell her how much I have enjoyed bonding with other people close to my age, the way you never let me to!" Anna was getting aggravated.

"Let's not fight about this," her father said sternly. _Of course not, the world would most likely collapse if anything was ever solved by arguing about it. _"We cannot come, but we really hope you would come here to spend your holiday."

"But I was hoping for you to meet Kristoff," Anna whined.

Her father let out a long sight: "Well, ask him to join you. We would love to host you boyfriend alongside of you."

That was a huge step, and she wanted to shout 'yes'. But she knew there was that one huge problem: "Kristoff wouldn't leave Elsa alone for a whole week."

She was hoping for her father to extend the invitation for Elsa too. The three of them could have so much fun in England. But her father, of course, refused to grant her that: "Well, then we can meet your boyfriend in Christmas. I assume you intend to keep dating till then?"

"Yule, papa," Anna corrected, she didn't bother to acknowledge the jab, it wouldn't lead into anything.

"Pardon me?" Agnarr asked with a buzzled expression. _He kind of reminded her of Elsa when he said that._

"We are celebrating Yule here, Elsa's an atheist," Anna explained matter-of-factly.

"Yule then," Agnarr agreed, though the term didn't matter to him. Heck, it probably didn't matter to Elsa either, but Anna felt like it was important. "Would you like for me to buy your tickets right now?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Anna felt sad that her parents wouldn't come after all, but maybe it would be nice to visit home. She just missed her family, but she wasn't sure if her family was only in UK, anymore.

* * *

"What is this amazing smell?" Anna asked the moment she stepped in and the smell hit her nose.

"Elsa's making food," Kristoff told, and moved so Anna could see Elsa in the kitchen, barely, as the wall was mostly blocking her view.

"Wait, are you telling me that you actually eat other food than green salad and macaroni with tomato sauce?"

"Oh shut up! I'm not really a chef, I'm a builder," Kristoff huffed.

"I'm also not a chef, but an architecture student," Elsa quipped teasingly from the kitchen. Kristoff just shot her an annoyed glance and she grinned and went back to her business.

"What are you making?" Anna asked while strolling into the kitchen.

Anna was trying to peak in the oven when Elsa answered: "Mushroom and spinach lasagna—Hey don't open the oven door!" Anna quickly threw her hands up.

"So Anna, what brings you here so early? It's only 12pm, aren't you usually sleeping at this time?" Kristoff asked teasingly. After they had started really date, Anna had revealed that she couldn't stand waking up for their morning walks. Kristoff walked his dog alone these days, as he didn't want to wear Elsa out too much with her bad leg.

"Har har. But actually, I was rudely woken by my father calling," Anna said.

"Your father called? He wanted to talk about their trip to here?" Kristoff guessed.

"Actually, we decided that it would be better if I went to England instead," Anna bended the truth a little. She felt oddly embarrassed by the fact her parents weren't coming after all. And she really didn't want to explain the reason why.

"I thought you were really excited for them to come here?" Kristoff pressed on.

"Uh, yeah. But it's not a big deal. It's really nice to go home for a while," a lump was forming in Anna's throat and she willed for Kristoff to get the hint.

He didn't seem to get it, but opened his mouth to continue pressing. Elsa, on the other hand, seemed to catch what was going on, and stopped her brother: "Hey, Kris! The food is going to take like an hour, you could take Sven for a walk. He seems like he needs to relieve himself."

As with a cue, Sven walked to the door and whined. Kristoff turned to see his dog, eyebrows high with surprise: "I guess you're right." Then he turned to see Anna. "Are you coming with me?"

"Uh—," Anna gave Elsa a nervous look, trying to figure out a good excuse.

"I could really use some help with the dessert," Elsa offered.

Anna almost sighed with relief, but then Kristoff rushed: "Why didn't you say you needed help? Of course I would have helped you, Elsa."

"No, no! There's no need! I'll help Elsa, you take Sven for a long walk and the dinner—or is it lunch—will be ready when you come back, right Elsa?" Anna looked at Elsa, who just nodded to confirm that.

Kristoff just shrugged and went to put her shoes on. Anna took a cutting board from the drawer and started dice chocolate, next to Elsa. When they heard the door close, Elsa asked without darting her eyes from the eggs she was beating: "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really, I'd rather not think about it." Anna looks at Elsa to detect her reaction. Elsa just nods, but doesn't show any emotion that would tell how she felt about Anna's refusal to talk about it. "But how did you know?"

"Anna, you're like an open book with your emotions." _Elsa wasn't. _"Don't get me wrong, I adore my brother, but Kristoff isn't the best detecting other people's feelings. He can sometimes be—like Kristoff."

"Maybe that's because he grew up with you. You're impossible to read!" Anna exclaimed after staring at Elsa's passive face a moment. Anna barely ever knew how Elsa was feeling about things.

"Maybe that's it," Elsa shrugged, tiny grin on her face.

* * *

Elsa had been on a bed for a while. She was tired, but her restless body wouldn't let her sleep. Also, her aching leg could have something to do with her insomnia. Kristoff and Anna had stayed watching the movie after she had retired, but now it had been silent for a while.

She wasn't sure if they had fallen asleep on the couch, until she heard them getting up and walking to Kristoff's room with a strange pacing. Elsa was confused while listening the strange footsteps. The pair was talking with hushed tones and Elsa couldn't make out the words.

She tried to ignore them, it wasn't good to eavesdrop when others thought she was asleep. She turned to her side and tried to concentrate in her own breathing noise, but then she heard a creak. Her eyes shot open when the creaking noises continued. They were kind of like as if someone was jumping on the bed, someone way smaller than Kristoff, or even Anna.

But then Elsa heard a grunt from Kristoff and a low moan from Anna, and she understood. _Elsa felt sick. How could they? How could they do that just a wall away from her? _The bile was threatening to rise up in her throat. Elsa felt disgusted and violated, and also ashamed for feeling those things.

Elsa got off the bed, on her shaky legs. She glanced her crutches near the bed, but decided they would make too much noise. She quietly padded to the door, and slowly opened it. She creeped into the living room area and when she passed the couch, she tapped softly on her thigh to gain Sven's attention, who was sleeping on that couch.

Sven jumped down and followed Elsa to the front door. Elsa reached for a coat, but decided that trying to get a shoes on would be too much hustle. She found Sven's collar and leash and put them on. Then she opened the door as silently as she possibly could. She tried her best not to bother the pair, whose quiet huffing she could still hear.

Elsa made it all the way outside of the building, when her stomach decided to empty itself from her supper. She would have felt bad for the bush and the people who would see the vomit, but she herself felt too terrible to think about things like that. _Let some drunk partyer take the blame._

Elsa wiped her mouth and started walking into the dark fall night. Her leg was aching just from walking the stairs down, and Sven was trying to get her to turn around, but Elsa was determined. It was actually the first time she was alone at the street at night since she had been on the run after the car accident. She rarely went out at nights, and when she did, she always had someone with her.

The night was cool and the asphalt was radiating coldness into Elsa's bare feet, but it felt kind of nice. The cold had never really bothered her. She felt oddly calm while the tiny rocks pierced the bottoms of her soft feet. It actually reminded her of the time she had spent on the run. While the memory wasn't exactly good one, it wasn't necessary a bad one either. She didn't know where she would have been, if she hadn't escaped back then. Most likely dead or even worse, in the hands of Author. He hadn't been the worst one, far from it, but that didn't mean he wouldn't have hurt her if he had caught her.

Her father had always kind of kept her safe from the worst sides of the child trafficking, she knew it. Though, there weren't good sides, just bad and worse. She had been valuable to her father. Not in a way that a child should be to her father, but he had always thought that Elsa would make more money with all her limbs and stuff intact. Her father had even refused to sell her to Tickler anymore, after he had done something especially gruesome to Elsa, which she couldn't remember what. She had once seen one boy lose his eye, then he disappeared. Elsa never learned what happened to him. But it wasn't hard to guess how they had got rid of him.

Elsa had never been sold forward, like she knew most of the children had been. And she had lived fairly normal life outside the business. Some of the children she had seen, lived in horrible conditions, just waiting to be rented or sold. Elsa had lived in big houses with her own room. Sometimes she had even attended school, though they had moved a lot when the ground had started to burn their feet. She guessed she should be grateful about the normality she had granted, as some of the poor children hadn't had even that much. _But was there really a mind in comparing the sufferings of people? Wasn't there always someone who had it worse?_

Without noticing, Elsa had walked to the river of Nidelva. Her injured leg was barely holding her weight anymore, and the pain was flaring up. She sat down to the edge of the river, hanging her legs on the air. Sven was sitting next to her, warmly pressed against her left side, her hand absently twirling his fur. She was listening the noises of sleeping city and watching the gentle waves of the river.

She breathed in the cool autumn air, and felt an odd sensation in her whole body. Even with her aching leg and earlier dark thoughts, she felt peaceful. She rarely ever felt this way, especially when she was alone. When there was nothing to disturb her train of thoughts, they had habit to go overboard and flare up her anxiety. But now her thoughts seemed to stop, nothing really bothered her. Even the memories of her childhood didn't make her want to jump in the river and drown, they felt so distant and unimportant.

_Elsa felt almost—happy?_ She was in middle of the city in nighttime, but she still wasn't afraid. She didn't get startled when a drunken couple passed her, not too far away. She didn't even turn around. She heard them, but they didn't feel like a threat to her. It was strange feeling for her to feel so calm and unafraid. Elsa closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the sensation with every cell in her body. For the first time in forever, she felt like she was actually living. And the best part of it was, that it was all by herself. She indeed was capable of feeling happiness without someone else pouring their time and energy into her. _Who would have guessed?_

* * *

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to let Sven in," Kristoff answered and opened the door.

But to his great surprise, Sven wasn't anywhere to be seen. The house was small, there weren't great many places where the dog could've gone. The bathroom door was closed, so the only place Sven could have gone to, was Elsa's room. _Had Elsa woken up and let Sven in her room? Had his sister heard them?_ The thought made Kristoff blush.

He quietly creeped to Elsa's door and cracked it just enough to peak in. The room was dark, but he didn't need light to see that no one was on Elsa's bed. He quickly put the lights on, forgetting that he was only in his boxers himself. With light, he could see that the bed was indeed empty, and so was the whole room. The crutches were laying against the wall._ Elsa was probably hiding in the bathroom, she couldn't go far without the crutches._

Kristoff strode towards the bathroom as fast as he could without running. He knocked the door impatiently and asked with a slightly wavering tone: "Elsa?"

"Elsa?"

"Elsa, this is not funny, answer me!"

"Elsa, I'm sorry if we hurt your feelings, say something. Let's talk about this."

"Elsa, please, I'm coming in if you don't answer now."

He waited for a moment, but nothing happened. The panic was starting to crawl in his body. The door wasn't locked, so he slammed it open, hoping to hear Sven's bark and Elsa's yelp. It was all quiet after the door was done with its slamming noise. The room was dark and obviously unoccupied, but Kristoff put the lights on anyway to see its emptiness clearly. Now he was really starting to panic. _Where else could his sister be?_

"What's going on?" Anna asked behind him, dressed in a robe.

"Elsa's gone."

"Wait what?"

"She's gone! I don't know where, but she left her crutches. She's gone. This is all my fault," Kristoff wailed.

"Okay, let's calm down. She couldn't be that far without her crutches, she has only walked meters on her own," Anna tried to be reasonable, but the wavering nervousness was evident in her voice.

"It's Elsa! She managed to get up and demand her way to home after waking from surgery, I have no idea what she's capable of! She can be anywhere!" Kristoff shouted. His mind was too clouded with worry to consider his neighbors.

"We'll find her, I promise. Let's go and find her. She's probably just outside the building," Anna said and put a reassuring hand on Kristoff's shoulder.

Kristoff shook it off and stalked to his room to change his clothes. Anna did the same. _They needed to find Elsa before someone did something to her—or she did something to herself_. The thought forced a shiver through Anna's spine.

* * *

The sun was slowly rising from the horizon. It was so beautiful, coloring the world with orange blanket. Elsa wondered why she never took time to just watch the sunrise in peace. What else she had missed in her life by being so afraid all the time? Why had no one told her how beautiful the world could be? Elsa wanted to see more, she wanted to see it all.

Elsa wanted to go and see savanna with its wide and treeless fields and beautiful wild cats. She wanted to adventure in a magical jungle, where it was hot and humid and monkeys were hanging on the trees. She wanted to go to Antarctica, feel the cold biting her cheeks and see a penguin. She even wanted to go to middle-Europe, she wanted to see the old cities, hear the buzzling city around her and not feel afraid. Elsa wanted to experience everything. And the most importantly, Elsa wanted to live, not just survive.

"Elsa!" A desperate cry behind Elsa broke her thoughts. "Kristoff! Kristoff! I found Elsa! She's here!"

Elsa turned around to see what was happening. She saw Anna running full speed towards her, Kristoff hot on her heels. Their faces were full of worry mixed with relief. Elsa didn't understand what had gotten them so worked up. Sven was barking and pulling, so Elsa let go off his leash to allow him greet his owner. However, Kristoff ignored Sven and kept running towards her. _Well, that was first._

Anna got there first. She immediately sunk to her knees and took Elsa in a tight embrace. Elsa was too stunned to even hug back. "We were so worried of you! How could you disappear like that, without saying anything?" Anna sobbed into Elsa's shoulder.

Before Elsa could answer anything, Kristoff reached them and joined them on the ground. He hugged them like his life depended on it. "Elsa, never do anything like this again! I've been sick with worry. We've been looking for you everywhere. I get that what we did was wrong, but you don't get to take it out on us like this."

Did they really think that Elsa left in spite of them? Her brother could be so thick sometimes. Elsa didn't think herself as a vengeful person. She didn't lay on bed at nights, thinking ways to revenge on the people who had hurt her or wishing them ill. And she, if someone, had people who had hurt her. She didn't really think of them that much, she actually spent her nights awake, trying to forget them. To think that she would leave her home in middle of the night just to teach her brother and friend a lesson, was an absurd thought. She left because she couldn't stay.

The pair broke the hug to look at her face. Elsa frowned, she felt the familiar feeling of nervousness to sweep in. "I uh—I—I just needed some time to think—about stuff," she managed to stutter out.

"Then you go to a courtyard and think!" Anna exclaimed. "You don't leave in middle of the night, without your crutches and in your pajamas, for a walk without saying anything!"

"Anything could have happened! You didn't even take your phone! What if you had fallen and couldn't have gotten up, who would've helped you then?" Kristoff questioned with anguished tone. Then he happened to glance down to see Elsa's bare feet. "What the fuck, Elsa? Did you honestly leave the house without your shoes? You're unbelievable! You could get cold or something!"

"I'm not cold," Elsa piped up a helpless defense.

"We're going home now, we **will** talk about this more when you are safely and warmly tucked inside of the blankets, at home," Kristoff stated.

Anna and Kristoff helped Elsa up. She couldn't help but wince from the pain in her sore leg. Bravely she tried to take a step with it, but before her bruised sole could make contact with the ground, Kristoff stopped her from putting any weight on it by holding her from her armpits. "Wait, wait, wait. Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh—home?" Elsa frowned.

"You're not walking a step with that leg," Kristoff said sternly and pointed her injured right leg. "I'm going to carry you home now, then we are going to call your doctor as the first thing at the morning, and you are going to the hospital, without a single complaint, and let them see if there's any damage on that leg from walking with it. I'm I clear?"

"Yes, sir," Elsa said meekly. She almost liked Kristoff being so harsh with her. It was scary, but she was familiar with it, she knew how to react, how to answer. She didn't know how to take her own space, or say what she wanted, she knew how to be submissive and please others. But Elsa didn't think she was naturally meek, it was just a learned habit for survival. She felt this tiny spark inside of her chest that wanted to burst out and force the world on its knees.

"Yes, who?"

"Yes, Kristoff," Elsa corrected.

"Great! Now, hop on, we're going home," Kristoff said with kinder tone and helped Elsa on his piggyback.

The four walked home quietly. Kristoff and Anna were trying to calm their nerves from the stress of worrying and trying to find Elsa. Elsa was already missing the extraordinary peace she had felt on the edge of the river. And Sven, he was just happy to have his whole family with him

* * *

**A/N **I personally like this chapter a lot, I hope you do too. I wanted to write about Elsa's own personality too, Elsa is depressed, but depression isn't all she is. There's still a playful girl inside of her, who longs for an adventure and wants to find her own place in the world. Elsa is a free spirit (hah) who is just caged in this tiny cage of self-doubt and anxiety, and I love to write about her. Plus I was really happy to write about Agnarr finally, though his role wasn't too big, yet. Leave a comment and we'll see in the next chapter!


	21. Chapter 21

Anna had been erasing and rewriting her text message for a while now. Ever since the incident, Anna and Elsa's relationship had been harder than ever. She had apologized and Elsa had accepted, and on the paper nothing was wrong. However, things were far from the way they used to be. Elsa barely talked to her, she hadn't attended the school for the week they had had left, and her smiles for Anna were only polite, never genuine. Anna felt torn, she had no idea how to fix it when she didn't know what was broken.

Things had been so awkward before she had left to England, even with Kristoff. At first, it had been pure embarrassment for the two of them, but now Anna thought it had more to do with how difficult Elsa was being. They had really offended her a big time, but Anna wasn't exactly sure what it was that had upset Elsa so. Of course the situation had been awkward, and Elsa was known to be rigid with the subject, but this felt like an overkill, even for Elsa. She acted like a puppy who had lost her trust for humanity after being kicked. Anna and Kristoff could hardly sit a meter away from each other, without Elsa getting all weird.

Anna had tried to keep contact with the siblings, but Kristoff hated Skyping and texting, and Elsa was conveniently always busy when Anna tried to call. She sent Elsa long text messages about her days in England, not that there was much to tell, but she tried her best. Elsa always answered after the longest time, and her messages were only one to two words. She never told about her days, not even when asked to. She was polite, as always, but never the warm and friendly Elsa who Anna had grew to love.

Yesterday, she had sent Elsa a long message about her day, and how she was missing them and was happy to come home. Elsa had answered it at the morning, before Anna had woken up. Her message only said: "Happy to hear that you've enjoyed your trip." It was the longest text Anna had received, but that didn't give her any warmth in her chest, the message was just as cold as the others. There was nothing personal in that message, not even an emoji. Elsa could have sent that message to a complete stranger and it would have been a proper thing to do. _Was Anna a stranger to Elsa now?_

A knocking on her door make her drop her phone and forget all about the unfinished text. "Come in!"

"Hey, have you packed already?" Agnarr asked when he peeked into the room. Iduna was just behind him, when he entered.

"Yeah, all packed," Anna confirmed awkwardly.

Then her parents looked at each other, and Anna started to get nervous. _What was going on? _Iduna sat next to her on the bed, and then her father sat on the other side of her. Anna almost felt claustrophobic, something was definitely off. _Had she been caught doing something wrong? Had she even done something wrong?_ Anna couldn't remember anything, but her brain was rushing through the memories, desperately trying to find a fault in them.

"Anna, we've been a little worried of you," Iduna said, landing a sympathetic hand on Anna's shoulder. Anna felt an impulse to flinch, but she hold still.

"You've been awfully quiet your whole stay, preferring to spent time in your own room. We wanted to give you space, but that didn't really help. Why won't you tell us what is bothering you?" Agnarr finished where Iduna had left off.

Anna frowned. Her parents never wanted to talk about feelings or problems or anything. And now they were upset because she didn't talk about what was bothering her? "I didn't think you would be interested," Anna answered honestly.

"But sweetheart, of course we are interested! We are interested in everything in your life, you're our daughter," Iduna said to her. Anna shrugged her hand off her shoulder and got up.

"That's not the picture I got when you hanged up on me after I mentioned how important Elsa is to me," Anna snapped. She felt almost guilty when she saw her mother flinch. Only almost, it felt so good to finally stop beating around the bush and address the thing they had all avoided to talk about for the whole week she had spent in England.

"That's different," Iduna defended herself. She also got up, and tried to reach for Anna, but Anna stepped back to refuse the touch.

"How? How is that any different?" Anna prompted, she was getting aggravated.

"Let's not talk about that now," Agnarr intervened. "I doubt that's the reason you have been sulking in your room a whole week. Tell us what is upsetting you now. Is it about school?"

"How can I tell you about my troubles, when you don't ever want to hear about my life? The only thing you seem to want to talk about my new life, is my school. I can't tell you about my problems until you are willing to hear about them." Anna didn't get her parents. Why were they suddenly so interested, when they had been the whole week like their normal selves, avoiding all uncomfortable subjects altogether. "Whenever I try to talk about the new people in my life, you want to change the subject. How do you except me to tell how things are going, without talking about the most important people in my life?"

"Of course you are allowed to talk about the people in your life. We love to hear how you have made new friends," Iduna told her softly.

"Oh okay, so it's just Elsa I'm not allowed to mention." Anna narrowed her eyes. Her mother's nervous twitch told Anna that she had hit the target. "Well, it just happens to be that Kristoff and Elsa are the ones that matters the most, and that means my problems are also mostly connect with them. But I can't mention them, without you shutting me out. So I don't really know what I am expected to do."

"So it's about them then?" Agnarr guessed. "Did that boy hurt you like Hans, because I swear I'll—"

"No! Kristoff is nothing like Hans! Nobody did anything to me. I was the one who did something. I guess you're happy to hear that I think I ruined my changes with Elsa."

It pained her to say those words, but they must be true. Elsa didn't seem to trust Anna anymore, and a relationship without trust was barely worth anything. She felt awful, knowing that she might have also ruined Kristoff and Elsa's relationship. Though she also felt angry towards Kristoff. He was always treating his sister like a delicate porcelain doll, why hadn't he considered Elsa's feelings that night. He was supposed to know his sister the best, so why were they in this horrible situation then?

"What did you do, Anna?" her father asked with a calm voice.

"I had a wonderful night with Kristoff, okay! It was one of the best nights of my life, thousands times better than with Hans." Anna confessed. Her parents looked horrified, but she was too far gone to care. "But Elsa heard us, she got so upset that she left the house with her broken leg, without shoes, and in her pajamas. It took us two hours to find her! And now she barely talks to me! I hope you're happy now!" Anna all but screamed to her parents, especially to her mother.

She was letting out the build-up frustration from that night, and from not talking about it with Kristoff, or Elsa, or her parents. She had felt so many emotions that night that really needed an outlet, but instead she had come here and had felt even harder pressure to keep it all in. Anna had been so worried that night, terrified even. She had ran around the city, afraid to find her dear friend raped and stabbed in some sketchy alley. Or find Elsa floating on the river of Nidelva, bloated and purple, where she had jumped in desperation to end her own life. Who could blame Anna for thinking that Elsa might be suicidal, after she disappeared in middle of the night? Elsa always has that certain glint in her eyes that reveals the deep sadness behind her cold mask. It had took the longest time for Anna to detect it, but after she did, she could never unseen it.

"Anna, sweetheart. It might feel like a bad thing now, but that girl seems like a trouble, maybe this is for the best—," Iduna started with her gentle voice.

"Best for you maybe! You don't even know her! She's the most amazing person and you refuse to even let me to talk about her, because god forbid if any other girl than**_ her_** would ever be close to me!" Anna was now actually screaming, letting out all the frustration she had built-up her whole, short life. She wanted to scream worth of all those years in silence.

"Anna—," her father warned.

Anna paid no heed: "You know what! Fuck you!" Agnarr warned her about the language, she didn't care. "I never even met**_ her_**, you two refuse to speak about **_her_**, yet you still expect me to have some special, unreplaceable sister-bond with **_her_**! I've only ever loved the idea of **_her_**, I loved the idea of having a sister. For the first time in forever, I finally could have one, but you hate Elsa just because she isn't**_ her_**. Elsa is everything I ever wanted, she's the sister I wanted, and I'm not ashamed anymore to tell you that I love Elsa more than I ever loved **_her_**!" Anna knew that admitting she loved Elsa more, was a low blow, but it didn't mean it wasn't the truth.

"How could you say anything like that? She was your sister," her mother asked with a horrified voice.

"How can you expect me to love someone who I know nothing of? You have forced me to mourn for a person I never knew, for my whole life! I'm done with this bullshit! I'm sorry that it wasn't me who died, instead of her, like you obviously wish for. I can't change that, but I refuse to let you force me to mold my whole life for some dead girl I never met!" Anna regretted the wording in her last sentence when her mother's palm connected with her face.

Anna clutched her cheek, she was beyond shocked. She had never been hit. She had been scolded and yelled at, but physical violence had never been laid upon her. Her mother looked shocked of her actions too, as did her father. But before they could apologize, or make any excuses, Anna took her luggage and hissed: "I'm taking a taxi to the airport."

Then she pushed through her parents, not minding their efforts to stop her, and left the house as quickly as she could in her righteous anger. Tears were already trailing down her cheeks, and the regret was gnawing her soul, but she couldn't go in and talk about things right now, she was just too upset for that. Anna needed some space to think and revalue things. _Why did she seem to break everything good in her life? Maybe her parents had been right to keep her locked up, she couldn't hold her life together on her own even half a year._

* * *

**A/N **

Kind of short chapter, but I've said everything I wanted to. This was actually supposed to be more of a filler chapter, but then this idea hit me, and I couldn't pass the drama. I hope you like it, as it does reveal some stuff you might have been wondering about.

**Guest and BadEnglishSpeaker:** You are not wrong, Anna and Kristoff could have and should have done it elsewhere. But people in love are often inconsiderate towards other people and how comfortable they are with the affection they show to each other. I don't write my characters to be likeable all the time, because people make stupid choices that hurts others. I don't know if you have seen Frozen 2, but I was actually inspirated by the scene in which Anna initiates smooching session with Kristoff after Elsa and Olaf had fallen asleep basically next to them. I mean, that is just rude. If it helps any, at least Anna feels guilty about it.

**Rice Field:** My Elsa is an albino, because I think that would explain her pale complexion the best, if she doesn't have her magical ice powers. Eye problems are pretty much a baggage deal with albinism, so she was just born with them. Don't worry though, they are not a part of the main plot, and won't cause any bigger grief later in the story. I think she has fair amount of other problems on her shoulders without adding that to it. I just wanted to be consistent with that albinism thing I had committed to.

**FullOfFaith:** I was thinking about Into the Unkonwn while writing that, but I can definitely see the Let it Go vibes too!


	22. Chapter 22

Anna was laying on her bed, doing nothing, like she had been laying for the whole week, after coming back to Norway. She wasn't talking to her parents, or her friends, not even Elsa or Kristoff. She wasn't even attending the school. She was just wallowing in the own self-pity, not finding any will to get up. She had single-handedly ruined her whole life. Everyone hated her. She had always wished to talk about things with her parents, but the moment she had got the opportunity to do so, she had bailed with a tail between her legs.

She wished she could talk about that with someone, she was in terrible need of an advice. Anna could call to some of her newer friends, but they would just tell her that she did the right thing and Anna should wait for her parents to come crawling to her, begging for forgiveness, and even then she should refuse them. Anna didn't want that, she didn't wish to right the wrong she had felt when she was a child, she just wanted her parents back. She could also go to Kristoff, but Kristoff wasn't good with things like this. He would feel awkward and try to appease Anna's point of views without actually saying anything.

Elsa would know how to help her. She could tell Elsa how the things were at home before she left for Norway, and how she had messed them up in her holiday. Elsa knew how to listen, and she gave the best advices. Elsa didn't care for petty revenges, no, she would give an advice that would be better in a long shot. For a girl who could barely chose what she wanted to eat for dinner later the day, Elsa was strangely good at predicting outcomes of different choices other people had to choose from. Elsa could help, but they weren't really talking like they used to.

Then Anna shot up from her bed. Maybe they weren't talking at the moment, but Anna could fix that. She could do that much, she was sure of it. She just needed Elsa to tell her what really was wrong, and then she could make amends. Anna had been giving up way too easily, she wouldn't make the same mistake again. Elsa and what they had, was worth fighting for. She would just have to show Elsa that she thought so.

Anna hurriedly changed her pajamas for some silly band t-shirt and college pants. How she looked, didn't matter. She rushed out of the apartment, not bothering to put any shoes, or even socks on. Anna skipped every other step on the stairs, and was soon knocking the Bjorgman's door. The door opened way faster than she had expected, startling her a little.

"Anna? Where have you been?" Kristoff asked, surprised. He had Sven's leash in his hand and clothes for a walk on.

"In my apartment," Anna answered fast, trying to peek inside the apartment. "Is Elsa home?"

This seemed to make Kristoff immediately uncomfortable, and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Uh yeah, but she's still—you know, like Elsa." Then he paused for a second, thinking about his next words. "I could walk Sven later, if you want to talk?"

"No need to, you can go. I want to talk to Elsa," Anna answered, feeling only slightly guilty for ditching her boyfriend like that.

"Oh, okay. But I don't think she'll come out of her room."

"She will," Anna said, sure of herself.

"Whatever you say, have fun," Kristoff shrugged and left with the dog.

Anna walked to Elsa's door and knocked: "Elsa, I know you're in there. Can you open the door?"

"Uh, I'm little busy now. How about later?" came Elsa's voice, muffled by the door.

"I know your later is never, so I'm just going to wait here, next to your door, until you decide to finally talk with me," Anna told with a resolution.

"No, really, you should go," Elsa's quiet voice suggested.

"Nope, not going anywhere." To prove her point, Anna slide down to the floor, and sat down. She was prepared for a long trench warfare. This wasn't anything new to her, it brought out almost nostalgic childhood memories.

* * *

Anna hadn't lasted long, until she had fell asleep due to pure boredom. Soon Elsa's door was cracking open, waking the slumbering redhead. "Whaaa—," she managed to mumble out.

"You wanted to talk. Frankly, I'm more displeased by you camping outside my door than you in my room. I cannot concentrate at anything if you're just sitting there," Elsa explained, peeking out of the room.

"Well that took forever!" Anna exclaimed, getting up from the floor.

"Anna, you've sit there only fifteen minutes," Elsa said, hiding her turning corners of mouth behind her hand.

"Oh, well, it felt longer," Anna stammered with a blushing face.

"I'm sure it did," Elsa said the way that reminded Anna of the girl she was before the incident. She made way for Anna to step inside her room.

Anna went in gingerly. Elsa had never allowed her into her safe space before. And there Elsa was, in her own room with Anna, hair braided and that cute Stitch jumpsuit on, the one Anna had seen only once before. Anna let her gaze travel around the room. It was bigger than Kristoff's, not much, but a little. The room was really light, Elsa seemed to prefer white and pale blue, Anna guessed it suited her. To her horror, she noted that Elsa's bed was against the wall. It was the very wall that divided her and Kristoff's rooms, no wonder Elsa had heard them. She felt the blush rise back to her ears again.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Elsa asked. She was aiming for nonchalant tone, but Anna could hear the wavering hesitation. Elsa knew what this was about.

"I want to clear the air between us. We pretend like nothing is wrong, while something clearly is. I'm sick and tired always beating around the bush. I know that you are still upset with what we did with Kristoff." Elsa cringed, so Anna knew she was right. "But I want to understand why, I **need** to understand why. I'm not here to judge you, or defend myself, I'm here for you to tell me how you feel, so we can really talk about it." Anna felt a little proud of her words. They were the ones she had always wished her parents would have said to her.

Elsa hugged herself, like trying to protect her body from some kind of torture. "Anna, I'm not upset, it's all fine."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Elsa. Nothing is fine and we both know it," Anna said with a little harsher tone than she had intended. She softened her gaze and voice, and continued: "I care for you, I really do. In a short time, you have become one of the most important people in my life. I want to share all my secrets with you, and I wish you would do the same for me. Elsa, I know I have offended you, and it pains me not to know how to fix it."

"You can't fix it, Anna, you can't fix me," Elsa said with a desperate tone, finally breaking up. Anna had never seen such a raw emotion in Elsa's face. Elsa was always more or less of a mask, so hard to read. She had seen Elsa anxious and nervous, something close to sadness, happiness, but never in such an utter desperation and pain.

"Fix you? We don't need to fix you, you are not broken. It's this situation that is all wrong. Maybe your reaction for what happened, was a little extreme, but that doesn't mean you need any fixing. You should just learn to talk about your feelings more freely, stop bottling them all up," Anna reasoned.

"You don't understand! You wouldn't understand, I cannot explain this to you!" Elsa cried out. The sudden volume change startled Anna, she had never heard Elsa rise her voice.

"Try me, please. I'll try my best to understand, I promise," Anna pleaded.

"No, I can't! You would be disgusted with me if you knew," Elsa said, turning her back to Anna as if it was shaming her to look at her anymore.

"Elsa, please. I wouldn't ever be disgusted with you, I couldn't even if I wanted to. You are the most wonderful person I have ever met, we just click the way I can't even comprehend. There's no way I could ever look at you and feel anything else but admiration," Anna talked while slowly creeping towards Elsa's turned back.

"You don't understand the things they made me do," Elsa's words broke a little, she was so close to sobbing. Elsa leaned her both hands against the drawer and for a second, Anna was afraid that it was because of her injured leg couldn't hold her weight anymore, but it seemed to have more to do with Elsa's whole body trembling with emotions. "The things I keep doing."

"Who are we talking about? Who made you do things?" Anna prompted.

"My father, them. Don't you get it?" Elsa was speaking with riddles, as if the things she was saying were the most obvious things in the world, but they made no sense to Anna. Elsa had talked about her father hurting her, but she didn't understand what Elsa was currently speaking of.

"No, Elsa, I don't understand. You told me he hurt you, but not that he made you do something. Who are_**they**_, Elsa?" Anna asked, her voice laced with concern for her distressed friend.

Elsa tensed her shoulders visibly, breathing deeply to gain some kind of courage. "I didn't lie when I said that he hurt me, I just wasn't completely truthful." Elsa finally turned to search for Anna's face. It was only a glance, but enough for Anna to detect the pure pain and defeat on Elsa's face, feelings she had never seen marring those beautiful features. "He didn't really hurt me via his fists or anything like that. Sure he sometimes lashed out to me, if I had done something really bad in his eyes, but he wasn't overall very violent man. He was short and skinny by built, he could barely hurt me physically if he wanted to."

"But if he didn't beat you, what did he do?" Anna asked hesitantly. She was unsure of the ways a child could be hurt, other than physical violence. Anna's parents had hurt her by withholding information and forcing her into isolation, but she had a feeling that Elsa was talking about things too big for Anna to fully comprehend.

"Anna, my father was Anders Weselton," Elsa confessed, like it was supposed to answer any question Anna might have.

Anna was utterly confused, the name said nothing to her. "I still don't understand, that name says nothing to me." She frowned in her confusion.

Elsa halted. Her trembling stopped for a moment, every muscle in her body tensed. Then she turned fully to see Anna: "What?" Elsa couldn't understand. _She had feared her whole life to even think about her father, in case someone managed to read her mind, and they would all know who she really was. One wrong step and everyone would know. But there Anna was, genuinely confused why Elsa would mention a name that meant nothing to her._

"Am I supposed to know that name? He isn't the king of Norway or anything? Because I swear, I have studied the history of Norway and—," Anna rambled, seemingly getting worked up by the fact she didn't know who Elsa was talking about.

"No, he wasn't a king or anything." Elsa trailed of for a moment. "Anna, he belonged to the biggest pedophile ring in Nordic countries."

For a moment they stared at each other. Elsa pursing her lips, trying to detect Anna's thoughts while she was putting the pieces together in her mind. Then it dawned to her, and she finally understood what Elsa was meaning with that revelation. Her jaw felt like dropping and her eyes widened in shock. Elsa turned around, as if it was unbearable to look at Anna a second longer. She dropped her head in shame and brought her hands to cover her face. "And ever since I got away from them, I've been living off other people's kindness. I'm like a leech, sucking them dry and imposing in their lives. I'm nothing, don't you understand? I'm nothing without the people around me giving and giving and giving."

"Oh, Elsa," was all Anna managed to breath out. Then she hurriedly closed the distance between her and Elsa, wrapping her arms tightly around Elsa's torso. When Elsa only slightly flinched with the contact, but didn't try to pull out, she continued. Anna pressed her cheek against Elsa's left shoulder blade and molded her body into Elsa's. She hold Elsa like she was trying to absorb all the pain Elsa had ever felt. "You are not nothing, you are you and we all love you for that!"

Elsa's body was finally wrecking with sobs. Anna held her tighter, if that was even possible. Anna had never seen Elsa even tear up before. Kristoff had said that Elsa barely cried, and if she did, she did her best to do it without anyone seeing. Anna felt privileged to see Elsa's emotions so unadulterated. _Was it wrong for her to feel joy for Elsa sharing this moment with her, if Elsa was also in so much pain? How could Elsa think such a things about herself?_

It took a moment for Elsa to compose herself, but when she did, she straightened her back to sign Anna off. Anna reluctantly let go of her friend. Elsa wiped her tears and put on the indifferent mask that Anna was so accustomed to. "I'm sorry for that folly. I didn't mean to cry like a child, I don't know what got into me. But I hope you do understand now why some certain subjects are harder to me than they are to most," her tone was cold and regal, no trace of the sobbing girl she had been just a moment ago, but her face still showed how hurt she was.

"You don't need to be sorry! Elsa, crying is normal, especially to someone who has gone through even half of what you have. I'm so glad that you told me, I'm grateful for that. But Elsa, you need to stop bottling these feelings, it is okay to talk about them. And if you ever want to let them out, I'm here to listen." Anna took a deep breath and put her right hand on Elsa's chest, against the soft blue fabric, just on the place she assumed Elsa's heart would be. She could feel the soft thumping against her palm. "I just want you to start seeing yourself like I do, like I'm sure others see you too. You are a hell of a woman, Elsa. I know we haven't known each other so long, but it feels like you have always being in my heart, and I hope I have been in yours. You are the sister I have been waiting for my whole life."

"Oh, Anna—," Elsa sighed and reached her right hand to hold Anna's hand on her chest. She even pressed it a little harder, so Anna could feel the thumping inside Elsa even stronger.

However, she didn't finish her thought, so Anna continued instead: "I had a big sister at some point. I think she died before I was born, maybe even before she was born. My parents never told me what happened to her, they never told me anything about her. I just always knew I had a big sister, Lotte. Lotte had her own room and every year we would light a candle for her in seventh of December. I don't know if it was her birthday, date of death, or something else, I wasn't allowed to ask. We had a rule in the house, everyone had to think Lotte as a part of the family, but never spoke of her."

Elsa was relaxing under her touch. Her eyes were soft and curious and Anna knew it was okay for her to go on: "When I was a little girl, I believed that Lotte was actually there, she was just hiding in her own room, for some reason. The door was always locked, so I would just sit behind her door and beg her to come out, or at least talk to me. Of course she never did, that room was empty. I made her a birthday card every year, on the candle day. As I didn't know if it was her actual birthday nor did I know her age, I begged her forgiveness in every card. I slipped the card under her door every year, they piled up during years, as there was no one to actually read them. I just thought she was ignoring me, as usual. I think I was nine when I actually realized that Lotte was gone, she had always been. I kept making her those cards though, it just felt right, forever asking for her forgiveness for not knowing anything of her."

Anna took a deep breath. Her mouth felt dry and she wished for a sip of water, but she had to keep going. She had come this far, there was no sense to stop now. "When I understood that Lotte could never give me what I craved for, I begged my parents for a little sister, someone who would have filled the empty halls, someone who would have made me feel loved and not alone. My parents' answer was always the same: 'you already have a sister'. It was not a discussion they were going to have with me. Sometimes I even wonder why they got me, if not having Lotte hurt them so much that they never wanted me to have siblings."

Then Anna lifted her eyes from their intervened hands, and looked straight into Elsa's blue eyes. "But then I met you. For the first moment I saw you, I knew that I want to be close to you. When we actually got close, I knew that you were the one. You are the one I feel exactly like I always dreamed I would feel with Lotte. She might be my sister by blood, but I never truly could love her the way I love you, you are my sister by soul. I can talk to you and you hear me, I can learn about you just by looking at you, and I can touch you to know you are real. Lotte was always just a thought, a person I made up in my mind to fill the hole in my heart. You are real and you take the place like it has always been yours to take."

They stared each other for a moment. Elsa looked touched. Then Anna moved their hands against her own heart, letting the flat of Elsa's palm feel her pumping heart. "Do you feel it?" Anna asked and Elsa nodded. "I love Kristoff, I do, but I don't think I could live without you. Not after I had learned how full my heart could feel around you. Please, don't shut me out and please, never think you are not worth our attention and care."

Elsa shook her head slightly: "I won't. I feel it too. It—it feels good to be around you." Elsa's answer was much vaguer than Anna's, lacking the emotional words, but they told Anna everything she needed to know.

Then Anna let Elsa's hand go, the air was turning too heavy for her to handle anymore. She needed to lighten it up: "So, my parents didn't really appreciate me saying that I love you more than Lotte, like you did. Do you have any advice for that?"

Elsa looked puzzled for a moment, before letting out a relaxed chuckle. She seemed relieved for the change of tone. "Sure, let me hear all about it," Elsa smiled and popped down to her bed, gesturing Anna to join her.

Anna gladly took the invitation and scooched into Elsa's open arms. She rested her head against Elsa's shoulder and begun her story with her parents.

* * *

Anna was proud of herself for making it all the way to her own room and flopping down to her bed, before getting her phone to google what she had desperately wanted to for hours. The make up with Elsa had went perfectly, she felt lighter than she had in weeks. Elsa had told her what had upset her so, Anna felt like a jerk for not noticing the signs, and then she had revealed all about Lotte and why Elsa was so important to her.

But none of that could have sated the hunger she had for knowing more. Elsa had said her father's name as if she had expected to Anna to know him. Ever since then Anna had had that terrible itch to google his name, and see what comes up. She was both intrigued and terrified to find out. Elsa had told her enough to know that she probably didn't want to know the details, but she couldn't help the curiosity. Anna needed every opportunity to find out more about the mysterious woman who meant too much to her.

She had been right, typing his name brought out immediately some results of newspapers. She clicked the first one, which was about the investigation of the pedophile ring that Elsa had talked about. She hadn't been exaggerating, they had truly worked all around the Nordic countries, trafficking both children and pornographic materials about them. According to the article, they had brought most of the children from third-world countries, and were even accused of murdering some of the children.

There were couple of names of the criminals, including Anders Weselton, a Swedish business man who had been shot dead and burned in his own car, in Norway. Elsa had mentioned the car accident that his father had died in. _Had Elsa been there, when her father had been shot? What else had she seen as a little child?_ Looking at the dates of the article, she noted that Elsa had been somewhere between eleven and thirteen when that had happened. Her heart broke for that little girl Elsa had been.

Then it hit her. A Swedish business man, in a pedophile ring, who had involved his daughter in it. That sounded exactly like the story her father had told her. Had her father met Elsa's father? Had he even met Elsa as a baby? Anna felt sick, she was filling her head with wondering if her father could have saved Elsa, if he had just seen through Weselton. Maybe Elsa wouldn't ever had to experience the cruelty she had. No wonder Elsa had left so quickly when she had told that story back then, she had probably also connected the dots.

It pained Anna to know how many times she had hurt Elsa, unknowingly. She tried to recall if she had ever made off-colored jokes about child abuse or rape, but she couldn't remember any. The guilt was twisting in her stomach, reminding her that she had had sex next to the wall that was dividing her from the girl who had been raped and trafficked as a child. Anna had had one of the best nights of her life while Elsa had most likely suffered horrible flashbacks because of her. She felt so sick that she actually wanted to puke.

They could have just come to her room instead, it wasn't so long distance, they would have managed even in the heat of the moment. Maybe her bed was smaller and less comfortable than Kristoff's, but it wasn't impossible to fit two people. Anna knew that some people had sex in cars, they definitely could have fitted on her cramped bed. She felt like an utter garbage for doing that to Elsa, she felt so ashamed that she had the audacity to think that Elsa had overreacted, that the situation had only been awkward at most. _If only she had known before._ Her ignorance didn't excuse her behavior, but she was sure she wouldn't have ever done that, if she had known.

_But Kristoff did know_, a small voice nagged in her brain. There was no way that he didn't know. The thing had been all over internet and Elsa was his sister, he had to know what had happened. Anna couldn't understand how he could have let things escalate to the point they had, if he knew all along. Why did he let her lead him to that bedroom while his poor sister was sleeping next door? Anna wanted to cry, cry out her own frustration, cry out her anger towards Kristoff, and cry out her sadness for poor Elsa. _How could have anyone do that to her?_

She read couple of the articles more, like the masochist she was. None of them said anything about Elsa, though it made sense. Elsa had been minor back then, the news wouldn't be boasting her name on the headlines. The comment sections, on the other hand, were filled with angry people spitting threats to the men who had been involved and many of the commenters seemed to be sure that the Weselton's daughter had been one of the victims. There were speculations about her disappearance and involvement in the fall of the pedophile ring. Some people thought that her father sold her to others, and some thought he only used her himself. _Anna knew it was the first._ Some of the speculations were too wild to be true, including the one in which Elsa was made up character to make up evidence against the people government felt were a threat.

When she couldn't take it anymore, she closed Chrome and set her phone on the bed, screen down. Only to pick it back up to make the long waited call to her parents. She was done hiding, she needed to make things right again. She loved her parents, no matter how flawed they might be, and they felt more important to her now than ever.

She didn't skype, she wasn't ready to see their faces yet. It rang once, then twice, and then: "Anna? Is that you?" It was her mother's voice.

She burst into tears right after that. "I'm so sorry mom," she wept to the phone and her mother tried to hush her gently. She cried out all the anxiety she had felt during the day, the week even. Her mother just listened, the way she felt like Iduna had never listened before.


	23. Chapter 23

The cold late autumn wind was blowing her hair around. It was tied into a ponytail, but that hardly managed to hold the hair still. The first snows had come and gone, leaving the leaves wet. They stuck onto the soles of her shoes. The only noises she heard, were the rustling leaves, gentle waves of the river, and sporadic cars in the distance. The damp rocks of the sidewalk were glistening in the light of the streetlamps. Elsa couldn't help but imagine how beautiful it would look under the rise of sun, instead of the artificial light.

It was almost winter, the nights were too long to have these lonely walks in the night, and expect to see the sun. Still, Elsa couldn't give up these secret strolls in the darkness, which for she sneaked whenever she was sure no one would notice. At first it had been to see the dawn or the sunrise, then the habit just stuck. She felt so alive and awake when the whole city slept. Elsa didn't want to tell Anna or Kristoff, she was too afraid they would want to tag alone, or demand to know why Elsa insisted to go for them. Kristoff would most likely to deem them too dangerous and forbid Elsa from going. _When had Elsa ever been able to disagree with Kristoff?_

No, this was Elsa's little secret. It was a way for Elsa to forget the woes of the world for a moment, forget how scared and useless little girl she truly was. When Elsa was alone at night in the cold streets, she was the brave and independent woman she had always dreamed to be. Out there, away from the judging gazes, Elsa walked with confidence, or sat on the edge of the river without caring if she looked strange or got her clothes dirty. At night, Elsa didn't need people to take care of her. When it was quiet enough, she could hear her own voice loud and clear.

And by her own voice, she meant the one that was buried under all the anxiety, meekness, and sadness she had gathered throughout the years. The voice was the real Elsa, the one who wanted to open her cage and fly like the free bird she was meant to be. When she closed her eyes, she could hear her wings flapping against the wind, taking her to the places she had never been before. That Elsa wasn't afraid of messing up and ending up worse than she had already, that Elsa saw only one way: forward.

Elsa knew she had school at the morning, but it didn't matter when she was there. When she was standing on that quiet but familiar street, she wasn't worried about tomorrow, not even if she was already on that side of the night. She was probably losing too much sleep because of her nightly habits, but she couldn't go on without them anymore. She needed that release time to time to be able to take the mess that was her life.

How hadn't she noticed before how unhappy she was? Or maybe she had, she had just thought that it was a part of her, the sadness. Who was she if she wasn't that desponded girl who did what she was told and didn't complain about anything? Who was she, if she wasn't drowning in the burden of gratefulness? Her misery was her oldest companion, always guilting her for not being good enough, not worthy enough, not grateful enough, she hadn't even noticed that it wasn't a build in part of her, just something she had caught like a disease. Who was she without it? Elsa didn't know, but she truly wanted to know. If only she knew how.

* * *

There was one rule Elsa had learned in life, after being hit by it over and over again: if things went too well for a while, life would always fix its mistake. Her life had been so good for a while now, maybe even better than they had ever been. She had felt so light after unloading her secrets to Anna, after Anna had trusted her enough to whisper her own secrets to Elsa. Things had been easy with Kristoff, with school, and she had been stupid enough to trust her therapist that she would be able to take the world as it was, now.

She was regretting that choice. The horrifying nightmares woke her up in middle of the night. They were just nightmares, not memories, but terrifying nevertheless. They were the kind that made you wake up from your own heart pounding in your chest. Elsa was covered in sweat and she felt afraid to look at her window or mirrors, fearing to see a face that didn't belong to her in them. She looked anyway, there was nothing there.

Elsa would have sighed with relief, if she didn't feel like one exhale would be enough for her to lose all the food she had ever consumed. The nausea was so intense that she knew, if she didn't get up in that red second she would puke all over her bed.

She threw herself off the bed. Her poor leg screamed from the pain when it landed on the floor, forced to bear Elsa's lithe weight. She ignored it, stumbling blindly out of the room. She managed to open the door before the bile forced itself out of her throat. The pain was immense, it had been long enough from eating that her stomach was mostly empty. So the vomit was more of acid than anything else. It burned her throat and forced her to gag again, the nausea being everything else but gone.

Elsa felt weak, her hands were shaking under her weight when she was on all her fours on her own threshold. She was terrified they would buckle under her and send her face first onto her own vomit. She opted to fell on her side, the doorframe painfully digging into her back. The smell was almost unbearable when her face was so close to the puddle on the floor. But Elsa felt almost too tired and sick to care. She just watched the floor with a horizontal view, it was dirty with her vomit but for once, Elsa didn't care. She didn't care at all and the thought was so amusing to her that she started giggling. Then the giggling turned into a full-blown hysterical laughter.

The slam of Kristoff's door forced her back to the reality. She stopped laughing, tears trailing from her eyes towards the ground. "Elsa what the hell happened?" There were strong arms holding her head up. "Are you okay, can you hear me? I'm calling the ambulance!" Kristoff's frantic tone was really adding on the pounding headache she was getting.

Elsa reached to Kristoff's arm with a gentle hand. "Kristoff, calm down. I'm just—," and then she retched again.

* * *

Anna was sitting on the dentist's chair, gloved fingers inside of her mouth. The dentist, who happened to be Hans, was scrapping dirt from her teeth. She felt uncomfortable and wanted to pull her head away from Hans' prying fingers, but she was tied to the chair. She couldn't even scream, not with all the saliva, and Hans' digits pressing her tongue down.

Suddenly there was loud banging on the door. Anna glanced it, and she could see the pounding being so intense that the door was threating to burst out of its hinges. She gave Hans a nervous look. Hans just smiled at her back, the smile that was too serene to be good.

"It's just Lotte, she has her appointment after you. I guess she's getting impatient," Hans explained. The banging just intensified. "Dead can be so loud sometimes. I think we should hurry, just in case."

Before Anna could answer, Hans pulled the teeth out of her mouth. It didn't hurt, but the blood was oozing out of the hole, trying to drown her. Anna gagged and spluttered, and the pounding just got louder and louder until Anna had to open her eyes.

Anna's cheek was pressed down on a damp pillow. Saliva was running out of her mouth. When she dried it with her hand and examined the color, she realized there was no blood in it. All her teeth were just fine. But the pounding didn't stop with her dream. The room was dark, but she could still see that her door was open. The knocking was coming from her front door.

Anna got up from the bed, confused and tired. She glanced the clock and saw it was less than 5 am. Who in the world would pound her door like that, in an ungodly hour like that? Anna forced herself to move towards the door, getting more nervous after every step. When she was next to the door, she peeked to the hallway through the peephole.

The hallway was as dark as her room, but she knew those broad shoulders wherever. Anna opened the door. "Kristoff, what—?"

"Jeez Anna, it took like forever for you to wake up. I think I woke up the whole floor before you opened the door," Kristoff exclaimed with a hushed tone.

"You could have just used the spare key I gave you to come in and shake me awake, instead of pounding my door like a lunatic."

"Oh, yeah, the key."

"Doesn't matter. What's so important that you are waking me at this hour? Are you okay, is Elsa okay?" Anna was starting to get worked up from worry. Kristoff looked terrible, like he hadn't slept a wink-full in ages.

"Calm down. I just need your help," Kristoff shushed her. "Elsa's sick, she's been throwing up for hours now. I have my morning shift at six and I can't leave her alone like that. Please, could you keep her company till your classes start? I know it's your school morning, but this is really important."

"Yes, of course!" Anna answered hurriedly. She had already chose not to attend school, not if it meant leaving sick Elsa alone. "But shouldn't we call to the hospital if something like this happens to her?" Anna asked with a great concern.

"No, no, it's alright. You just need to keep her company, make sure she drinks enough. I really have to hurry now," Kristoff rushed with his words.

"Okay, okay. I'll take good care of your sister," _our sister, she corrected in her_ mind "you don't need to worry about anything."

* * *

To Anna's great surprise, Elsa didn't look ill. She was laying on the couch, watching silly cartoons on the telly, sick bucket next to her but still, she looked queasy at the best. She looked like someone had forced her to stay awake for a week, with her dark eye bags and disheveled appearance, but other than that, she seemed healthy enough. The image of young Elsa with skin too tight on her meatless bones, the tone of it so pale and waxy, and the dull eyes too tired to belong for such a young child had imprinted itself in Anna's mind. Maybe she had too high expectations for sick, after seeing that, but this Elsa didn't look even feverish.

She crossed to room to join Elsa. When she was standing right next to her blond friend, Elsa looked up and quirked her eyebrows. "Kristoff put you to the babysitter's role?" she asked with a dry voice.

"Uh, you know Kristoff, he worries," Anna excused weakly.

Surprisingly Elsa made space for Anna, next to her head. "Oh well, then by all means, come watch me while I empty my stomach's contents in a bucket. It must be fascinating to see," Elsa's voice was tripping with thick sarcasm that was so surprising from Elsa's mouth, that Anna didn't doubt her sickness a moment longer.

Before Anna could react to Elsa's offer to join her on the couch, Elsa reached for the bucked and puked liquid so clear, that there couldn't be anything but water in it. Anna reached to pat Elsa's back comfortingly, as she didn't know what else to do. Elsa had no need for holding her hair, as it was already tied in a messy bun, which was yet again one thing she had never seen on Elsa before.

"Don't worry, it's not contagious," Elsa said with a raw voice and grinned weakly to Anna, before heaving out some more of the clear liquid.

Anna took Elsa's empty glass and went to fill it up. She sprinkled a small amount of salt on the water. Her mother had done the same to her when she was a little girl and ill. Iduna had said that one had to avoid hyponatremia when drinking a lot and vomiting it. Anna wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but who was she to argue against her mother?

She went back to the couch and sat on the empty space Elsa had made for her. She helped the blond to get up slightly, to offer her the water to drink. Elsa's skin was cool to touch, not feverish like she had expected. Maybe it had sweated up a little from vomiting, but otherwise it was pretty much like normal. Elsa's skin was always cool to touch, it felt nice against her.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked with concerned tone, after Elsa was done sipping her drink, and Anna had put it down on the coffee table.

"Well, I just lost half of my insides, so you know, just splendid," Elsa answered dryly and gagged, but didn't hurl anything out this time, luckily.

"Okay, I get it, you probably feel terrible. Let's just watch cartoons and try to survive the day, okay?" Anna proposed. She understood that Elsa was feeling sick and didn't want to have any deep conversation about her wellbeing. Anna would probably be beyond moody herself, if she hadn't slept a wink-full all night and was throwing up like there was no tomorrow.

"Okay." Elsa turned her head, which was resting on Anna's thigh, to look up at her, and smiled sweetly. It was enough to convince Anna that Elsa was grateful for her company.

Anna smiled back to Elsa to show her that there was no offense taken, she understood that Elsa wasn't being rude or mean, just ill. Elsa turned her face back towards the TV, where Tom & Jerry was rolling on. Her left cheek was resting heavily on Anna's naked thigh, while the redhead absently stroked her messy hair, tingling her neck with feather-like touches on the baby hairs in there.

Anna felt content. It was so nice for Elsa to let herself be so vulnerable with Anna. It was a rare treat and Anna accepted it eagerly. How nice could it be, just sitting in a small apartment, way too early in the morning, in her skimpy pajama shorts and some oversized t-shirt, holding the sick blond on her lap, and watching a cartoon made for kids? It was funny how always so serious Elsa was laying there limply against Anna's thighs and giggling behind her hand when watching a cartoon mouse. And to think that people used to call her the Ice Queen.

* * *

"Heaven's sake, you look rough, Elsa," Dr. Johaug commented after Elsa stepped into the room.

"I know. Remember when I told you that going off hadn't really affected me?" Dr. Johaug nodded slightly. "Well it affects me now. I thought I'm going to die this morning."

The doctor looked a little shocked, she wasn't used to Elsa talking so freely. Usually Elsa sat on the armchair and fidgeted her legs and hands until the session was over, barely answering the questions. And it was even rarer for Elsa to admit that anything was wrong. When she was talking, everything was just fine. Maybe going off her medication was already doing some good for her.

"I know it might feel really bad, you seem to react especially strongly, in the physical sense. But don't worry, the symptoms won't last more than couple of days," Dr. Johaug told comfortingly. "How are you feeling, mentally? Any returning feelings of intense anxiety or depression, suicidal thoughts even?"

"I'm not suicidal!" Elsa all but shouted. _Yes, she had tried to end her life couple of times, but that was when she thought she would've died anyway, and she rather didn't think about those times. And yes, she could sometimes be a little careless with her life, ready to succumb to death if it was to come and collect her. But succumbing wasn't the same thing as actively ending her own life. Besides, nobody knew about those times, nor her thoughts, at least she hoped so._ "Why everyone always assumes that? They see broken, they think suicidal," Elsa huffed, clearly annoyed. She wanted people to stop assuming that she wanted to end her own life because she had a hard childhood and wasn't all smile and puppies every day. It was so rude.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just the side effect of going off the medication, one that you might experience," Dr. Johaug told her calmly.

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I've been feeling a little irritated. My head is aching and I couldn't slept last night because of the nightmares and nausea," Elsa explained and rubbed her temples to release some pressure.

"It's all normal Elsa, those symptoms will go away. Is there other feelings you have been having?"

"Mostly I just feel restless," Elsa admitted. She wasn't sure why she was sharing so much with the doctor. Maybe Anna had removed some kind of plunge when she had forced Elsa to share her feelings. Ever since then, it had been a little easier for her to just tell people what she was thinking. So easy actually, that Dr. Johaug had decided to get her off her anxiety and depression medication._ Was she truly finally making some progress?_

"You mean that you can't sleep, or—?" Johaug prompted.

"No, I mean restless the way that makes it hard to stay still. I go every night for those walks now," Elsa told.

"The restlessness can be caused by the decrease in medication," the doctor suggested.

"No." Elsa shook her head. "It's more than that. I had this feeling before, now it's just more intense. I think the medication was just dampening it down before. I feel like I'm not where I'm meant to be."

"Care to elaborate that?" Dr. Johaug asked with a curious tone.

"I feel like I'm stuck here, doing the bare minimum of living. Being the good student, good sister, good friend, but never just Elsa. I'd love to go to places, see places, know what different paths I could take before settling to one," Elsa explained the best she could.

Dr. Johaug had that awed expression, like she had made a breakthrough with her patient. It made Elsa uncomfortable to be looked at like an accomplishment, but when Dr. Johaug asked her to go on, she did.

Elsa explained all the places she wished to visit, the things she wanted to do, and also admitted the guilt she felt for wishing for more than she had. She told about the burden of gratefulness she had towards people who had hold her up when she had been the lowest. How disrespectful it was towards them to want more than they had already given her. She didn't think that the doctor truly understood, but it felt good to unload the baggage she had gathered for years. She left that therapy session lighter than she had ever had.

Elsa had always thought that a therapist was supposed to fix her problems, and when she never had, Elsa had grew even more resentful towards the sessions. But now she was starting to think that Anna was right after all, maybe talking was the key. Dr. Johaug had barely said a word while she had unloaded all her burdens, and yet she felt better than all those times she had left the session with new prescription in her hand.

* * *

**A/N** I'm not sure if it's just me, or were the comments in the last chapter like **really** nice. Not sure if the chapter was actually better than usually, or if y'all were like in really good mood. Reading those comments made me feel so happy and motivated, thank you all!

This chapter has some more of Elsa, I feel like I haven't got to really write her POV in the longest time. It's easier for me to write what is happening to Elsa, when I'm not actually writing her POV, because it keeps a certain uncertainty in the story that I like. Besides, I think that having everything in Elsa's POV all the time, would be really depressing to read. If you're here for wallowing in Elsa's depression, I think my other story is more suitable for you :) See y'all in the next one!


	24. Chapter 24

"Hey mom!" Elsa started the conversation when her mother picked up her call.

"What has Kristoff done?" her mother asked with a tired sigh.

"Nothing, he's all good, I'm all good," Elsa answered, feeling a little buzzled.

"What it is, then? Elsa, you never call yourself," Bulda reminded her.

Elsa cringed. _She never did, did she?_ It was just so much easier to tell Kristoff what she wanted to tell to their mother. Kristoff would call Bulda all the time, Elsa didn't want to be a burden or annoying, taking too much of their mother's time. "Uh, I wanted to talk about Christmas plans."

"What about them, sweetie?"

Elsa changed the phone to her other hand, palms sweating from nervousness._ Gosh how much Elsa hated to talk through phone, it made her so anxious._ "I wanted to ask—uh—pardon me—I'm just—I would like to come home for Christmas. I mean, only if it's okay for you, of course," Elsa stammered.

Her mother's distorted chuckle broke into Elsa's ear. "Oh, sweetie. You and Kristoff have spent every Christmas at home, why wouldn't we want you come here this Christmas? I'd be upset if you didn't come."

"I—I don't t-t-t-think Kristoff will come this year. I think it might be only me," Elsa broke the news with stutter. Heat was blazing to her face.

"He asked you to call and tell he wouldn't come this year?" Elsa could hear the feelings of hurt behind Bulda's stern tone.

"N-n-n-no, Kristoff didn't ask me to call. He hasn't really made any plans yet. I just know that Anna's parents are coming for Christmas to spend it peacefully with their daughter and Anna has been building confidence to ask Kristoff to finally meet her parents as they are getting really serious. And m-m-m-mother, I think he should stay and meet Anna's parents, he can come home for New Year," Elsa argued on her brother's behalf.

Her mother was quiet for a long while, and Elsa was ready to start apologizing for overstepping her boundaries. Then her mother answered with a calm voice: "You're right. It's just one day, we can celebrate together any given day. Anna's parents come all the way from England, this might be the only change for long time to meet them. How did I deserve such a smart and thoughtful daughter?"

"M-m-mother," Elsa stuttered and blushed furiously for the compliment.

"But you are coming? You don't want to meet Anna's parents? I'm sure she would love for you to meet them too."

"I'm not dating Anna, I don't need to meet her parents," Elsa stated.

"So, don't you have any special boy who's dying to show you to his family?" And then she added after a beat: "—or special girl?"

Elsa resisted a groan. She knew that was just her mother's way to hint that there would be no judging if she happened to prefer girls and was just too shy to admit it. But she couldn't help but feel annoyed being asked the same question over and over again. She knew her family would accept her being gay, but could they accept her not being sexually driven being? Elsa didn't feel the need to find another person to be romantically involved with, the whole idea of someone being so near, kissing her on the lips, touching her in those places, it sounded terrible.

Elsa was sick and tired of people always asking if she already had someone, and wondering why she didn't. Most of them assumed it had to do with her trust issues and traumas. Maybe it did, Elsa wasn't sure. She just knew that she didn't really feel that attracted to people, she didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't understand what made people act all crazy around their crushes. She didn't even really understand what crushing meant.

Elsa had sat in the classes, seen people and thought that their faces were handsome, their body looked appealing, their hair was luscious, or their clothes were neat. Did that mean she was crushing on those people? It had never made her want to do something that had possibility of making herself a fool in front of others, it has actually never made her to want to go and talk to those people. So did everyone else just exaggerate the madness they felt because of those feelings, or was she just different than others?

Elsa didn't really have a sex drive neither. She was quite sure, she didn't feel aroused the way other people did. She had studied about human biology and how normal sexual instincts were to people, but she didn't feel that way. Sometimes she was reading a novel, and the things would start to get steamy. She would blush and her skin would feel a little warm at first, but if things went much farther, she would either get bored, disgusted, or outright anxious. She never got a feeling that she wanted to travel her own hand into her pants and relieve some kind of pressure, like she had studied that people did. And she could hardly imagine some other person doing that to her, without bursting into tears of anxiety.

"Mother, please," she said instead of all that, and hoped Bulda would drop the subject.

"Alright, alright. I'll let you youngsters' keep your secrets." Not exactly what Elsa had been hoping for, but she would take it.

"I just want to come home and spend the Christmas with you and Olaf and Pabbie and the whole family,"

"And we'd love to have you here. I'll book you the train tickets now, okay? You know how hard it is to get tickets to North in winter break." Elsa knew the hidden meaning behind Bulda booking her tickets.

"I can pay my own tickets, mom, I still have the heritance money, remember?"

"Nonsense. No daughter of mine is going to spend her savings to come home for holidays," Bulda said with a tone that Elsa didn't dare to argue against. "It was so nice to hear from you, from yourself. You should call more often. I'll book your tickets now and sent them to you via email. Let's talk more later, goodbye, sweetie."

"Goodbye, mother," Elsa stated quietly and ended the call.

She was getting emotional from the goodbyes. She really needed more time to get used to feeling so much all the time, again. Elsa was so used to all her emotions being dulled, that she felt like a maniac these days.

* * *

"Hey Anna, what's the problem?" Elsa said, without rising her eyes from the book she was reading.

"What? There's no problem!" Anna denied. "How did you know there was a problem?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Your face screams that you're here to ask me an advice," Elsa stated.

"Well yes and no. I'm here because it's seventh."

"Uhh? Okay?" Elsa had frowned.

"It's the day!" Anna tried to prompt.

"The day? Oh the day! I'm so sorry Anna, I completely forgot. What do you need?"

"I bought a candle and wrote a birthday card, but I don't know where the put them now that I can't just push them in her room. There's nothing of Lotte here and I don't know how to give these to her," Anna pouted sadly and sat down next to Elsa with a defeated slump.

"Of course there is. Lotte is always with you," Elsa said. Then she put her hand to Anna's heart. "She's always there."

Anna sighed and then said with a serious tone: "So which one you suggest I do: eat the letter, or inhale it?"

"What?" Elsa asked with a puzzled expression. Then she saw Anna's grin and slapped her on the arm. "Oh shut up, I was trying to be sentimental."

"I know, I know. But seriously, what am I going to do with this letter and where do I lit the candle?"

"How about some beautiful place in forest. Bury the letter and lit the candle for it?" Elsa suggested.

"Great idea, but it's freezing cold out there and the ground is frozen solid," Anna reminded.

"Hmm, how about open your window, lit the candle and burn the card instead. That way wind will take the pieces where ever she is," Elsa tried again.

"Yes, I love that idea! C'mon, let's go!" Anna shouted and shot to her legs, before offering a hand to Elsa.

"Me too?" Elsa asked with a confused face.

"Of course! It's kind of poetic don't you think? I'm taking my new sister to meet my old one—I mean, she's still my sister, but you know—just not here anymore—or I mean—," Anna rambled.

"Sure, it's poetic. I'll come if you want me to," Elsa stopped Anna's rambling. She got up and reached for her crutch, she only used one anymore.

"Oh wait!" Anna then shouted, before Elsa had even properly started to walk towards the door.

"What?"

"The book! You gotta read the book for her!" Anna shouted. Elsa just looked her like she had grew a second head. Anna could have been talking a completely strange language for all Elsa knew, as she couldn't understand a word Anna was saying.

"What book?" she asked.

"The book, about the brothers, and death, and stuff. It's the perfect book for Lotte, she's kind of my Jonatan. I mean, she didn't really save my life—or maybe she did and that's why she's gone, but wouldn't my parents have told me that? Anyway, she's waiting for me out there, isn't she? Fishing or rising doves, whatever she likes to, but she's waiting for me?" Anna asked, suddenly seeming so sad.

"Yes, she's there waiting for you," Elsa answered what Anna wanted to hear. Now was not the time to bring out her own point of view.

"So you'll read her the book, right?" Anna asked.

"Wouldn't she rather hear you reading it?" Elsa suggested.

"Listen me butchering Swedish? I can hardly understand it when you are reading it, she will not understand a word if I'm trying to!" Anna threw her hand to the air animatedly.

"Sure, whatever, I'm reading it then," Elsa chuckled. "But someday, I'm going to teach you to speak proper Swedish."

"Kristoff has lived with you for so long, and he doesn't speak Swedish. He actually barely understands it, and he has lived his whole life in Norway, speaking Norwegian, so it should be so much easier for him," Anna argued.

"Well, his head is as thick as those rocks he used to collect as a kid, I'm not trying to hammer anything in there," Elsa stated.

"Kristoff and his stupid thick head always getting free passes," Anna muttered grumpily. Elsa just laughed at that.

* * *

Elsa had rushed back to home with an excuse of making dinner for Kristoff, so he could eat after hockey practice. Anna hadn't really understood, why did Elsa make dinner for her adult brother, but had been fine with it anyway. Anna had offered to help Elsa or come to be her companion at least, but Elsa had managed to convince her to stay and devote the day for her late sister.

They had had a beautiful memorial sort of thing, candles and everything, and Elsa had read the best chapters of her favorite book to the girl neither of them had ever met. But it had opened some wound inside of Elsa's chest. It had reminded her how she had never properly mourned for her had felt like she was suffocating when they sat on the floor, under the window, in Anna's tiny apartment. She felt like she couldn't breathe, but she couldn't say anything about it to Anna. Elsa couldn't make the day of Anna's sister about herself. So she had sucked it all in and left as soon as she thought it was appropriate.

She had lasted all the way until she had started doing the dishes that had piled up from making dinner. Something about the running water had forced the tears out, and before she noticed it, she was sobbing like there was no tomorrow. Elsa was embarrassed of her tears, she hadn't cried in the longest time like that. Actually, she couldn't even remember if she had ever cried like that, and she didn't even know what she was crying for. She knew even less on how to stop crying.

Elsa had thought she was stronger, that she didn't really cry like a child anymore, but she had been wrong. Maybe the pills had made her so dull of feelings, that she had truly thought she had gotten better. _Was this crying mess the real her?_ The good days were so good, she felt like she couldn't stop laughing until her stomach hurt. But the bad days were horrible, she got irritated so easily and the smallest things upset her. She had gotten irritated before, she had actually been irritated most of the times before, but now it wasn't just a nagging feeling on the background anymore, it consumed her whole. It brought tears to her eyes and made her want to destroy everything she saw.

When the dishes were done, and Elsa's tears were long dried out, she sighed with relief and wiped her hands dry. Crying had helped her, she felt relaxed again. When she cried, everything felt even more horrible than when she held it back, but afterwards, she had got that calm feeling. Elsa glanced the clock and frowned. The dinner she had made was cold and unappetizing looking. Kristoff was supposed to be home already, should have been ages ago.

When Elsa was truly starting to get worried, the door opened. Kristoff walked in, dropped his hockey bag on the floor and greeted his dog enthusiastically, just like any day after practice. He was all smiles when he greeted Elsa too, but Elsa was standing in the kitchen with crossed arms and stern look on her face.

"You were supposed to be home an hour ago," she said.

"Yeah, something game up, I tell you later," Kristoff grinned like a lunatic. "So what's for dinner?"

"It's cold and gross already," Elsa huffed. She was so annoyed for a reason she wasn't exactly sure of.

Kristoff seemed to find her irritation amusing. He grunted softly and picked his sister up, twirling squirming Elsa a couple of times in the air. "We'll microwave it. I bet it's delicious anyway," he said and put Elsa down.

Elsa gave him a murderous look, while straightening her heavy skirt from non-existent wrinkles. Then she put the plate in microwave and watched the pasta that had once looked so delicious to change into that mushy and dry thing while spinning inside the box.

She put the plates on the table and sat down to push her food around the dish. Elsa couldn't find stomach to eat, but Kristoff devoured his serving like he had been starved for months. He complimented Elsa's cooking with his mouth full of food, and Elsa wondered with disgust how she had managed with Kristoff's manners for so long. She didn't say anything, though, she couldn't upset Kristoff, especially when he was in such a good mood. What if Kristoff decided that he didn't want Elsa to go to see his family in Christmas if he got too upset with her? _Their family_, Elsa corrected in her mind.

"So, I've been thinking—," Kristoff started somewhat nervously, after swallowing the last bite. Elsa hadn't tasted hers. "You know that Anna's parents are coming for Christmas, and uh—I thought—What if we spent the holiday with them instead?" Kristoff looked like he waited for a blow.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I already talked about it with mother, it's cool," Elsa agreed with a nonchalant voice.

Kristoff's jaw almost dropped open: "Wait what? You have?" Elsa nodded. "That's amazing, Elsa! Thank you! The Christmas will be so amazing, trust me! We can show Anna all of our traditions, and she can—"

"I'm not staying," Elsa corrected. "I'm going home for Christmas. I thought you and Sven and Anna, if she wants to, can come for New Year."

"You're not staying?" Kristoff asked with a confused face. Elsa shook her head for a no. "But we have always spend our holidays together."

"We can still spend New Year together."

"I'm not letting you be alone in Christmas!" Kristoff shouted, horrified.

"I'm not alone, Kristoff, I'm with our family," Elsa chuckled, but Kristoff didn't look amused.

"I'm not letting you go alone with train, it's a long way and dangerous. No, I'm coming with you."

"I will be fine, Kristoff. You will stay here, meet your girlfriend's parents, and we will see in New Year's eve. Anna would be sorely disappointed if you didn't stay with her. She's been dying to ask you," Elsa reasoned.

Kristoff looked like she wanted to argue more, but didn't. Then his face morphed into a smile, and Elsa was confused. "My parents-in-law," he said, softly.

"I don't—," Elsa stated, but Kristoff quieted her by putting a small velvet box on the table in front of her.

"What do you say about this, sis," Kristoff said, and opened the box. Elsa gasped, with horror.

"You didn't get Anna pregnant, did you?" she suddenly blurted, while eyeing the ring._ Oh, stupid Elsa, why did she say that aloud?_

"What? No! Of course not! I want to marry her. We're not in Middle Ages, I don't need to marry anyone because they're pregnant or any other stupid reason. Marriage is all about love."

Elsa stared Kristoff with wide eyes. "Yes, we're not in Middle Ages where people start out their families at age of sixteen. You have been dating for half a year, don't you think this is a little too soon?" she asked, trying to make Kristoff see the problem.

"Anna is the one, I know it. The time doesn't matter, and I don't have to ask her today, or the next week, or even this year. I just want to have this ring with me, because I know I will ask her to marry me eventually, and when the perfect moment comes, I want to be ready for it," Kristoff said with a sure tone. "You will understand when you meet the one that you just belong with."

Elsa had met the one, she was Anna. That didn't mean she was going to put a ring on her finger. But what did Elsa knew of love, she was broken. So she wiped the horror from her face, and did her best to smile at her brother and congratulate him for his happiness. She just hoped her brother had sense to not to propose Anna surprisingly, in front of her parents, without any warning.

* * *

**A/N** Like I told, I'm going to be really busy and I most likely can't update as often as I have now. I've wrote couple of chapters ahead, so all I need to do is proof read them when I have time and then I can publish them for you. I'm trying to write this story complete as quickly as I can, so I won't lose my motivation to write it. This doesn't mean that I'll update more often, because I'll leave them to scratches that I'll just have to edit out later when I have time, that might actually also slow down my updating a little bit. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update the next chapter, it might take a week, maybe two, maybe a month. Anna's parents in the next one, see y'all there!


	25. Chapter 25

Kristoff was holding the door open for Anna, like a true gentleman. He had a proud look on his face, while handling his precious, new car. Well, new in a meaning that Kristoff hadn't had it for long. Neither of the girls had heart to say that the blue Toyota Land Cruiser was hardly an improvement to the Taro he had exchanged it to. The car was still beat down with frayed seat fabrics and jabbing rears, but at least it now fitted the three of them legally.

The trio with dog walked to the train station, Kristoff wheeling Elsa's luggage and carrying her backpack. He had forbidden Elsa for trying to move her own stuff, even though they weren't even heavy. He wasn't comfortable with Elsa leaving without her crutches, but as the doctor had said it would be okay, he had no say to it. He had barely slept a blink last night, worrying for Elsa's long trip alone. Elsa had tried to calm him down by reminding him that she had traveled across the country alone while she was just a child. That hadn't exactly helped to calm her overprotective brother.

"Elsa, you don't have to leave. We could still have our holiday together, here," Anna pleaded. She was almost as bad as Kristoff. Elsa was a big girl, and she was just going home.

"No, I need to go home, I promised, I want to," Elsa answered. It felt weird, to express that she wanted something. It was still strange to even want things, make choices by measuring her own desires. Make choices at all.

"Then I'll come with you," Kristoff declared. Then he turned to his girlfriend. "I can meet your parents some other time." And Anna nodded! Like it was the most obvious solution.

These two were insane, Elsa decided. She had to be the voice of reason. "No you are not. You two will have an amazing holiday here, with Anna's parents. – No arguments!" How long had Elsa come? She had never ever in her life actually ordered anyone like that. Well maybe when she was drugged out of her mind, but that hardly counted. "And I'll be all safe in my own, **locked**, cabin. Mother got me the whole room for myself, so I won't even share it with anyone. I don't even have to open my door before I'm at my destination, and then mom will be there for me. See, I'm hardly alone at all."

Before either could protest, Elsa closed them in a rare group hug. "You two enjoy your holiday. And remember to get Anna's parents from the airport at the morning." They promised to remember. "I love you guys, but I got to go now."

"I'll carry your things inside," Kristoff rushed.

"Okay, but we got to hurry now," Elsa said and turned around.

She didn't see the tear on Anna's eye, or Kristoff's painful swallow of emotion. Elsa felt just so free. It was a small thing, barely traveling even, but she would do it all by herself, and she didn't even feel too afraid. Maybe someday she could even go to see the world like she was dying to. Elsa could almost hear the adventure calling her. She felt so silly for that, crazy even, but there was a small part of her that was longing to just drop everything and go.

* * *

"Mama, papa!" Anna breathed out when she saw her parents finally emerging from the terminal.

"Oh Anna, come here my baby girl," his father said, while letting go of the handle of his luggage.

He opened his arms wide open and Anna flung herself into his arms. Agnarr twirled his daughter in the air like she weighted nothing. After he let Anna go off his death grip, Iduna closed Anna in a tight hug. Tears were streaming down Anna's cheeks from the joy of really seeing her parents again. _It had been too long._ Iduna wiped the tears with her thumps. Iduna was pursing her lips with a tight smile, and her eyes were glistering. With an expression like that, she reminded Anna of Elsa so much it was almost scary.

"How have you been, sweetie?" her mother asked with a gently tone.

"Good, really good," Anna answered hurriedly. Then she stepped aside to make way for Kristoff, who had stayed behind. "Mother, father, this is my boyfriend, Kristoff. Kristoff, these are my parents," she introduced.

"I'm pleased to meet you," Kristoff said with politeness that Anna didn't know he possessed, and shook both of her parents' hands like a true gentleman.

"As well," Agnarr answered curtly. He was sizing Kristoff up so obviously that Anna had to smack him on the chest and told him to stop.

"Are you sure it is okay for us to rest this first night at your apartment? We wouldn't like to impose," Iduna broke the silence, before it got awkward.

"Yes, yes of course. It's basically Anna's apartment too, I'm pretty sure she spends more time there than in her own," Kristoff chuckled, somewhat tensely. "Besides, Elsa said that it would be completely okay for you to have her room. She left to go home for holidays, just yesterday evening."

"Yes, Anna mentioned that," Agnarr said.

"And you don't have to worry for the house looking like regular student's apartment, Elsa is a real neat-freak," Anna chirped.

"That she is," Kristoff agreed and looked lovingly at his girlfriend. Then coughed awkwardly when he realized his love-struck look. "Shall we?" he asked and nodded towards the door.

The elder Árnadalrs agreed, so Kristoff proceeded taking Iduna's carry-on and show the way to the car. Anna smiled how chivalrous her mountain man was being, he could be so rough sometimes. Though her father was frowning. Anna was worried Kristoff might've come off as a little unctuous to her father, even though he was anything but. Hans had really made Agnarr a distrusting man, especially when it came to men dating his only daughter.

* * *

When Kristoff opened the door of the apartment, Sven burst out to greet them. Iduna shrieked and backed away so rapidly she almost stumbled. Kristoff just greeted his dog enthusiastically, oblivious to the distress of his guests. Anna just stood there awkwardly, trying her best to come up with a plan to show her parents how nice dog Sven was.

"Mama, please. He's the friendliest dog ever," Anna said and made a show to pet him gently on the head. Sven just nuzzled against her palm.

"Don't be afraid," she added, and reached for Iduna's hand. When she got it from the wrist, she gently pulled it towards the dog. Her mother resisted, but Anna got her palm to touch the fur of Sven's head. When the dog did nothing, Iduna flexed her fingers for an attempt of scratch, shoulders loosening up. "See," Anna grinned.

After her mother had calmed in the presence of Sven, they walked inside the house. Anna's parents realized that she hadn't lied when she had said that Elsa kept the house clean. It was at least as clean as their house was after the cleaner left. Everything was shining, and not a thing was out of order. Agnarr wondered briefly how someone who was so neat, could live with a dog. It wasn't that he didn't like dogs, they just left so much dirt and fur after them.

Suddenly a white fluffy looking cat jumped on the back rest of the couch. Iduna smiled at it and before Anna could stop her, she reached her hand to scratch his ear. For Anna and Kristoff's surprise, the cat just cocked its head and let Iduna give him a small pet. He wasn't exactly responsive, but he didn't try to scratch her face off, he just sat there and watched.

Anna still had her mouth hanging open and she stepped a little closer to her mother. The cat lunged his head towards her and snapped his teeth to her. Anna stepped back faster than a lightning bold, and Iduna drew her hands to her chest to protect them. The cat hissed at Anna, maliciously.

"Go, you stupid cat," Anna shooed him angrily. The cat just hissed louder and bounced off the couch. "I'm sorry about Marshmallow, he doesn't like people."

"His name is Marshmallow? Seems a little ill-suited to his personality," Agnarr said with a wondering tone.

"Well yeah. Kristoff's little brother named him on phone, he has never met him IRL. Though he did see Marshmallow trying to kill me during that video chat," Anna explained the story of Marshmallow's name.

"He's yours?" Iduna asked, still distrustingly eyeing the cat that was now watching them from the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah. He was my friend Sofie's cat, but she was about to put him down, I had to save him. She called him the Devil, and I thought that was mean, so we gave him a new name," Anna explained sheepishly. "In retrospect, that name suited him just fine. He hates me the most, then Kristoff, and Sven is afraid of him. After Elsa came home, she immediately saw the cat and went to him like 'hi there you cute little kitty', we were sure she's going to lose at least one eye but instead, he just rubbed himself against Elsa and purred, freaking **purred**! They've been best buddies ever since, and Elsa, until this day, had remained as the only person who Marshmallow allows to touch him, so I mostly keep him here."

"Anna, is it smart for you to be committed to a cat in a situation like this?" Agnarr asked with his lecturing tone.

"Absolutely not, but I'm stuck!" Anna exclaimed. "I've been trying to butter Elsa up to take him, but she hasn't yet to agree. Though, I think it has more to do with my amazing boyfriend here not wanting to have him, than Elsa," Anna said and narrowed her eyes at Kristoff. "I don't understand why, because he's here anyway, it doesn't matter who owns it."

"Because Elsa is the only one who likes him. If he's hers, we're never getting rid of it. I still have hope that you'll get tired of him biting you," Kristoff explained to Anna. Then he took the roll-on and said to the parents: "C'mon, I'll show you the room, you must be really tired."

"Thank you," Iduna said softly and followed Kristoff.

They stepped into Elsa's room, and put down their bags. Agnarr and Iduna both looked around the impersonal room. It could have been a room set in Ikea for all they knew. There was no personal items on the tables and counters, and not a single photo covering the walls of the room. Everything was pale colored. They weren't sure if everything was put in the drawers because of them, or was the room always like that. They guessed the later after everything they had gathered from Elsa previously.

After the young couple had left and the door was closed, Agnarr stated: "Well, isn't this a sad room."

"It feels more like a hotel room than a young woman's. Everything is just so clean and plain," Iduna agreed.

"I liked that Kristoff guy, he looked like an honest man," Agnarr stated.

"Anna looked so happy with him," Iduna said dreamily. "I thought it would be harder, to see Anna's new life."A

"I hope the girl didn't leave because of us and how unwilling we have been to talk about her with Anna. She seems like a sweet girl, she is so important to Anna, and she was nice enough to let us use her room for these night's that are little hard with hotel's timings. I kind of regret that we don't get to meet her this trip, after all," Agnarr admitted.

"Me too, we've been too harsh on her, too harsh on Anna. We should be happy for Anna that she has found someone that feels like a sister to her, someone that she can have that special bond with. Instead, we have been shaming her for it, for forgetting her real sister. Even though that's not the case, I almost cried when she told us what she had done with Elsa on Lotte's day. I've never been so ashamed of my own behavior before."

"It will be alright, Anna is a great kid, she will understand. We'll just have to show her that we are not opposed to her life choices, and we support her wholly." Then Agnarr smiled and laid down the bed, inviting Iduna into his arms. The bed was a little tight for them, but they did fit. "But that all can wait for tomorrow. Now we'll rest."

After a while, Iduna's voice broke the silence: "Agnarr?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Do you think—," Iduna swallowed "do you think we could go to see Lotte now that we are here? We haven't gone there since—and I feel so bad for leaving her there, all alone for so long."

"Are you ready for that?"

"I am."

"Then we'll go, in the end of the holiday." Agnarr hugged his wife tightly. "I love you so much, my love, but you need to sleep now. Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

**A/N** So, here it is. Took me some time, and I know the editing is like super lazy, but I'm quite ill, cut me some slack, please. Excuses,excuses. Anyway, it will probably take me some time to update the next one too, as I am still quite busy and will be for a long time. But don't y'all worry, I won't abandon this, I'm almost done with the chapters, almost. I'll edit and publish them when I have time. Please, be patient. Hopefully, you enjoyed the chapter!


	26. Chapter 26

The silence on the table was heavy, as if it was made out of concrete. Kristoff coughed awkwardly, after chucking his water a little too fast. He didn't know what he should have expected, when agreeing to the Christmas dinner with Anna's parents, but it hadn't been anything this clunky.

They were in a nice restaurant, having a special dinner in their own booth, and it was horrible. Nothing tasted like how his family made it, and he wanted to be with his sister and baby brother. He wanted to be eating from Elsa's plate all the foods that their family had brought and she had been too polite not to take, even though they weren't complimentary to her diet. He wanted to be playing with his little cousins and sing the Christmas songs and open the presents with his huge family around him.

But instead he was with Anna's parents who seemed to disapprove even the way he used fork. Anna wasn't really helping either, she was just so unusually quiet and meek, making her look more like Elsa than herself. He didn't really like the affect her parents had on her. Whole week, Anna had tried to be like some kind of model daughter. She had been showing them places, introducing them to all the people she had ever met, and taking them to see her school and every place she had been. When she came back at nights, she was bone-tired, barely able to talk to Kristoff.

And yet she felt like she wasn't being good enough. She had been so exhausted, that she had burst into tears when she had explained to Kristoff that she must have done something wrong, as her parents wanted to leave a day early. Kristoff had suggested all kind of options for their early departing, like seeing family and friends they had missed, but Anna was dead-set on the problem being her.

"So, Kristoff, what are your dreams with this life?" Agnarr pulled him out of his thoughts.

"Uh." Kristoff glanced Anna for approve. She nodded her head to encourage him to go on. "I want simple things in life. A stable job, a house with a big yard, surrounded by forest, and of course to take care of my family: wife, couple of kids and my sister."

"Your sister?" Agnarr asked, puzzled. "It's wonderful how tight bond you two have, but you won't be taking care of your sister forever, some day life will separate you, at least in physical sense, that happens to every pair of siblings at some point."

"Not to me and Elsa," Kristoff said firmly.

"Don't you want to get married and have your own family someday? I have hard time to see how will your sister fit in that picture," Agnarr pointed out.

"Elsa and I are a baggage-deal. I want no wife who won't accept my sister as a part of our family," Kristoff answered, getting angry with the judging. He didn't like someone accusing Elsa of third-wheeling.

"I'm all fine with Elsa as a part of the family," Anna piped in. "She's like my sister too. I wouldn't mind to watch her quirky habits for the rest of my life. You know, how she's so serious all the time, but still wakes every morning early enough so she can watch the cartoons, how she hates gardening, because pulling the weeds makes her so upset, and how she doesn't know how to coo with animals, so she whispers to them instead. Kristoff, I love your sister just as much as I love you."

Kristoff's heart melted for the girl. The ring he had started to carry in his pocket was burning to get out of there. Fortunately, before Kristoff could truly embarrass himself, Agnarr decided to ruin the moment. "But how about your sister, don't you think she'll want a family of her own someday? How do you think that commune will work out?"

"Elsa doesn't want her own family, so I'll share mine."

"That's what she says now. But you have to understand, many young women say that at her age. There will be time that she'll want a husband and children of her own," Agnarr insisted.

"Elsa isn't like most women. She's my sister, and I have promised to always be there for her, always! And if it comes to that I have to choose between her and having a new family, I will choose her, I own that much to her," Kristoff told with a spite in his voice and got up from the table. "I've enjoyed the meal, thank you very much, but I think it's time for me to leave now."

"Kristoff, please, wait! Don't go!" Anna shouted after her boyfriend when he stormed out of the restaurant. Then she ran after him.

* * *

Anna caught him up when she dashed out of the doors. Kristoff was leaning against the tile wall. His forehead was pressed against the tiles and so was his fists. He was almost shaking with anger. Anna put a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"I can't stand it, I just can't. People don't understand than Elsa doesn't have anyone else, she needs someone to take care of her. That someone is me, I'm her brother and I have promised to never let anything bad to happen her ever again," Kristoff all but whispered against the wall.

"She didn't have a childhood, people who were supposed to keep her safe, were the ones that hurt her the most. Every day is a battle for her, somedays it is against other people, somedays it is against her own body, and the worst days, it's against herself. I been there, seeing her lay on that bed, unwilling to get up anymore. When those days come, I have to be there for her, ready to carry her burdens so she can go through just one more day. How am I going to be there for her, if I'm somewhere out there, playing a happy family with someone else? I want to have my own life and family, but I can't if the cost is Elsa's life. I won't be like everyone else in her life, I won't break my promise to her."

"Kristoff, I don't expect you to do so. I love you, but I love Elsa too. I want you both to be part of my future, and I wish you both want me to be part of yours. I don't want you to compromise your promises to Elsa to be with me. I want the opposite; I want to take a part in those promises. I want to be there for her too. I want to have a family with you, have children with you, but it all would mean nothing, if Elsa wasn't there with us, too."

Kristoff turned to face Anna fully, before closing her into a bone-crushing hug. "I love you so much," he breathed wetly against Anna's hair.

"I love you too," Anna said, and then she broke the hug. She kept holding his hands and looked straight into his eyes. "Please, come back in with us. Just ignore my parents, they can be a little harsh sometimes, but they mean well. I'll talk about this to them later, let's just enjoy the Christmas dinner now, okay?"

"Okay," Kristoff answered and let Anna lead him back in.

* * *

"I think I want to move to my own apartment," Elsa said suddenly while washing dishes from the Christmas dinner with her mother. After forcing the words out of her mouth, she hold her breath while waiting for Bulda's reaction.

"But you have your own apartment?" Bulda frowned with confusion.

"I mean separate from Kristoff. He's starting his own life with Anna, and while I adore them both, I think it's time for me to start finding my own path for life," Elsa confessed. She didn't dare to lift her eyes from the dishes she was washing with shaky hands. Anxiety was making her feel so weak and lightheaded.

"Don't you like living with your brother?" Bulda asked.

"No, I do! I do, too much, and that's the problem. I'm way too comfortable with Kristoff. He's always there for me, fighting my battles. And I let him. It's nice to not to have to do things I'm uncomfortable with, but it's not good for me for a longshot. I'll never learn to stand on my own, if Kristoff's always there, holding my hand. I don't want to be just Kristoff's sister my whole life. Mom, I want to be me. I want to find myself, what I'm capable of and what are my limits. I want to have my brother, and Anna, but as my friends, I don't want to be so dependent on them anymore. I want Kristoff to be able to live his life without being burdened with a responsibility that no man his age should have. And over that all, I don't want to be responsibility to anyone," Elsa explained with a trembling voice, she was getting emotional.

"What does your therapist say about this?"

"Dr. Johaug supports it. She thinks it's not good for me to be so dependent on Kristoff and moving to my own house would be a great start," Elsa explained and scratched her left wrist. The soapy water was really starting to itch on her skin.

After a beat of silence, Elsa was almost paralyzed with fear. She was waiting for her mother to star yelling at her for being so ungrateful little bitch, ask her how she dared to say such a things after everything they all had done to her. It was just like how she berated herself in her own mind. The scolding, however, never came.

Instead, Bulda said: "I'm so happy for you Elsa."

"Wait, what?" Elsa could almost see the black spots appearing to the corners of her eyes, so lightheaded she was from all that.

"We have never been able to help you the way we would have wanted to. We didn't know how to bring out the real you, break your shell. We could offer you the things you should have always had in life, a roof over your head, warm food and new clothes, security, and a loving family. But we couldn't help you erase the pain of your past, to make you shine the way you are meant to. We dragged you to those therapists for years and years, because we hoped they could eventually help you the way you deserve to be helped. I kept paying for your therapy, so you would feel obligated to go, even when I wasn't there to physically force you to go."

"I know that you haven't always exactly enjoyed those visits. I have had enough phone calls from Kristoff arguing for you ending the sessions to be aware of that. But I have never given up hope to have this Elsa in front of me, saying 'I need to do this in order to get better'. I haven't always known, what would make you find your own path, but I have always known, that someday you will know. And today is the day that all the waiting pays off. Elsa, I'm so, so proud of you. I have always been, but this conversation has given a new meaning for that word."

Elsa felt herself to tear up. She swallowed hard and just stared Bulda in the eyes. Then she pursed her lips and crushed Bulda into a hug, a whisper escaping her lips: "Mother."

"This last year has done so much good to you," Bulda spoke softly against Elsa's hair. "Before I could barely touch you. You would always squirm uncomfortably if anyone got too close to you. And I don't think I have ever hear words 'I want' or 'I need' from your mouth, before this year. And now, I even get to see your tears, and for the first time in forever, I think they are happy ones."

Bulda wiped the tears from Elsa's cheeks and Elsa chuckled wetly. "They are." Then she sniffed.

"We are your family, you are always welcome to lean back to us if life gets too heavy for you. We will always be here for you."

"I'm afraid Kristoff will get mad if I say to him that I want to move out. What if he thinks I'm not grateful for everything he has done for me, that I don't love him as much if I live away from him?"

"Are you afraid you wouldn't love him as much?"

"Honestly?" Bulda nodded. "I think I'd love him a little more, if he wasn't constantly breathing down to my neck. I love him, but his fretting can sometimes be a lot," Elsa admitted.

Bulda just laughed at that and pulled Elsa into a side hug. "He really can be a lot. But come on Elsa, let's finish these dishes and join others. We are playing charades—and don't give me that look, missy. You get to pair up with Olaf to give you at least some change in the game."

Elsa felt an impulse to stick out her tongue, but decided that would have been too much. She opted on just hiding her smile by looking down to the dishes. She truly was awful at that game. And damn her if she wasn't ready to pull her hands out of that water and stop the itching. It was driving her crazy, Elsa betted that half of her dizziness was caused by it.

* * *

**A/N** Okay so, as it's gonna take me a month to update the next chapter, I decided to put this up now. I don't think this chapter is worth the wait, but the next one is, so this seemed to be the only sensible outcome. I hope you enjoy the chapter, even though it's out a little early ;) Have a nice day and don't forget to leave a comment!


	27. Chapter 27

Agnarr felt bad he was leaving Anna a day early, without giving her any real explanation. But how was he supposed to tell her where they were going, and then tell her that she wasn't allowed to tag along. He wasn't great at talking about the harder subjects. He had never been. He and Iduna had always done their very best to keep Anna out of the darker sides of their lives, especially when it came to Lotte.

Lotte was a sore subject for Iduna, any mention of their baby girl could bring her to tears. Often he was so focused on Iduna's pain, that he forgot his own. She had been his too, his firstborn. He had held her the day she had been born. It had been a stormy winter day. The baby in his arms had been so tiny, two weeks early, she'd barely seemed real. But then she had reached for his finger, held it in her tiny fist, and at that moment, she had wrapped him around her pinky.

Agnarr wasn't so sure he could go to see her. He wasn't sure if he reopened the wound, he would be able to close it again. Losing Lotte, had hurt more than he could have ever imagined. It had sent his whole life spiraling downhill. His marriage had hit a rock-bottom. They had barely tolerated each other. With all the built-up anger and sadness inside of them, there had been no one else to lash out to than each other. Most days, there still wasn't. Their marriage never fully recovered from the tragedy.

Anna had been the one holding them together. Not only as a married couple, but as people. Anna was the reason to get out of bed, to not go and jump off a bridge, but get better. Anna had also been a reminder of what they had lost. Some days it was hard not to resent her for that. Lotte had been so excited for the new little sister she was going to have. Every time Agnarr saw the ever-growing bump that was Iduna's tummy, he had thought, why did that little thing inside get to live, when his little princess didn't.

But then everything had changed, when the new babe was laid to his arms. It was a tiny little thing, though way bigger than his Lotte had been. The baby had been pink and screamed on top of her lungs, unlike her quiet sibling. The moment she had looked at him with her unfocused eyes, he had known he would die a thousand deaths before he would let the same thing happen to her than had happened to Lotte.

He had tried his best to keep Anna as safe as he could, but sometimes he wasn't sure if he was keeping her from the right things. He had been so focused to never lose Anna like he had lost Lotte, that he had forgotten there were other things that little girls needed too. He should have done more to make Anna's childhood happy, as well as safe. When Anna had been just a toddler, she was so easily amused, but as she grew older, they grew busier. She had been left alone in the world that had no one for her. They had forgotten that life was a balance between fun and responsibilities.

His little girl had grown up so much during the time she had spent on her own. She had grown in the ways they had never allowed her to. She had found happiness, friends and a boyfriend, all the things she had ever wanted. Agnarr was afraid for his daughter's safety, but he was still so proud of her. He wished he knew what words to say, while he was looking at Anna for the last time for a long time. He didn't know when they would meet next and wanted her to know that he admired the young woman she had become.

All he managed was: "It's been nice to see you again."

Then they hugged, until some noise from the stairway took Anna's attention. "Elsa? What are you doing here? And my gosh, stop dragging that luggage! Kristoff will lose his mind if he sees you carrying that up the stairs with your injured leg!"

Anna's screeching, forced Agnarr to look at the direction of the noise. There was a girl, her back towards them, dragging a heavy looking bag up. She looked like her strength might buckle at any second. Agnarr rushed to her side. He picked up the luggage, surprisingly without any trouble. It barely weighed anything, the girl must have either been really tired, weak, or just plain dramatic.

But he wasn't there to judge, so he just threw the luggage bag over his shoulder and asked: "Where to?"

"Oh no, sir, you don't have to. I-I-I can carry it myself," the girl's soft voice answered, stuttering. "Nonsense, it's no trouble. Where to?" he repeated.

"One floor higher," Anna instructed instead. "She's Elsa, who's room you stayed in."

"Oh, she's the much heard of Elsa," Agnarr said teasingly and started walking towards the apartment he had spent the night in.

"Are you alright? I thought you were supposed to wait for us to come up in the New Year," he heard Anna ask behind him.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just have to do a couple things here," the girl, Elsa, answered with her soft voice. "Are you sure? Because you look a little—"

"I'm sure Anna."

"But—"

"We're here," Agnarr interrupted and put down Elsa's luggage. Then he caught his wife's face. It was pale as snow, like she had seen a ghost.

Then he took a real look at Elsa, and understood that Iduna indeed had seen a ghost. "Lotte?" "E-e-e-e-excuse me?" the girl stuttered, bewildered. She physically withdrew from them, pressing her hands close to her chest.

"No, no, no, this is Kristoff's sister: Elsa," Anna hurried to explain.

Agnarr just ignored her. He couldn't tear his gaze from the pale girl in front of him, he was mesmerized. Elsa shifted uncomfortably, clearly not used to people looking at her. But Iduna and Agnarr couldn't look at anything else but the miracle in front of them. "No, it's you, Lotte. I would know you anywhere. You look exactly like your mother."

"You knew my mother?" Elsa said, frowning confusedly. Her tone had a hint of curiosity. "Of course I do, she's standing right next to me," Agnarr answered and pointed to Iduna.

"No, my mother is dead," Elsa shook her head. She hugged herself, trying to back away from them. Agnarr couldn't let her go, not when he had just gotten her back.

"No, it's you! I would recognize your face anywhere. Even with deeper blue eye color and darker lashes and eyebrows. It's you under all those features, I know you." This made Elsa stop her retreat. She was intrigued by the fact that Agnarr mentioned her darker colored features.

Anna stepped between them again: "I'm so sorry Elsa. You probably look like Lotte, they're still grieving, they see her in every young woman, I'm sure."

Agnarr started patting his pockets hurriedly, before finding his wallet. "Please, I have a picture! It's you Lotte, I swear." Then he pulled out the little photo of his daughter he had been hiding there all these years and gave it to the blonde girl.

Elsa hesitantly took the picture and gasped. Anna joined to look. Her eyes widened immediately as she started comparing the little girl to the older one next to her. Agnarr knew that it would be impossible to not to recognize them as the same person. The distinct, almost white hair, the cute, light freckles on her nose, pale skin, and those big, blue eyes, all the features were there. Maybe the color of her eyes didn't exactly match, but they were the same pair of eyes, he knew that. Agnarr knew that it was his baby girl in front of him.

"It can't be," Elsa denied. She left the picture to Anna when she turned around, trying to open the door of the apartment.

"No, please, Lotte! Listen to us, I beg you." Iduna finally seemed to find her voice.

She grabbed Elsa's arm, trying to stop her from leaving. They were so close, almost hugging. Elsa stood unmoving and breathed deeply in. Then her eyes widened; she recoiled as if she had been slapped so hard she almost fell. Shock marred her beautiful face. This time when Iduna tried to reach for her, she pulled away as if she'd been electrocuted.

"No! No, you cannot come back now. Not after I just—no!" Elsa was borderline hysterical.

"Please, let's talk about this. You don't even have to believe us, we could get DNA-tested and—," Iduna tried, but Elsa stopped her.

"No, I can't. Please, I—you n-n-need to go now. I need to—please," Elsa stuttered and stammered, her words made no sense. But it didn't matter, she had already managed to open the door, slither inside. She closed it, leaving them outside.

"Lotte, please," Iduna begged through the closed door.

When there was no answer, she burst into desperate tears, begging and pleading with her long lost daughter to come out and talk. Her pleas went unanswered, the door stayed closed. Agnarr had finally had enough, when Iduna was frantic enough to start slowly ramming her head against the barrier between her and Elsa.

He took Iduna into his arms, and forced her to look at him. "It will be alright. We'll go back to the hotel, give her some space, and wait until she's ready to come out, to figure this out."

"She's her, Agnarr, I know she is. I know my daughter when I see her. She's just so grown up now, not my little baby anymore," Iduna wailed, pressing her cheek against Agnarr's strong chest.

"I know, I know. We'll get her back, she just needs some time," Agnarr promised.

He started leading his wife towards the stairway. "Hey, you can't go now! We need to talk about what the hell just happened!" Anna shouted after her parents.

"Anna please, let's talk about this later, honey," Agnarr said. He left his daughter behind.

Unable to stop her parents from leaving, Anna just stood there hopelessly. She was so confused, and mad, frustrated with everything. She felt so angry towards her parents for never including her, she hated herself for not being able to put her foot between the door and force her parents to tell her everything. She was even mad at Elsa, for leaving and not figuring all this confusing stuff with her.

Slowly she slumped down against the wall, not knowing what else to do. She quietly pleaded with Elsa to just come out. They wouldn't even have to talk or anything, she just didn't want to be so alone anymore.

Without noticing, time had passed around Anna. She had barely moved an inch. People had moved past her, they had judged her with their eyes, never saying anything. Anna didn't care. She felt so empty, like the bottom of her life had just dropped away. She felt like her whole life was a lie. She wasn't sure she knew anything anymore.

* * *

Kristoff was kind of glad to know that his future parents-in-law would be long gone before he stepped inside the building. It wasn't that he didn't like them, he just had had the worst day and all he wanted was to cuddle with his girlfriend and watch an action movie. Preferably X-men or something like that.

He hated days like this one. He had been called in early that morning to work because a colleague was sick. Kristoff knew well enough that "sick" meant hungover, it had given his day a splendid start. Then they hadn't even been able to do any work. The crane had refused to start in the cold weather, and so he had wasted his whole day trying to work, instead of actually getting anything done. Well, at least he got paid, probably.

Kristoff's weary steps were dragging along the stairway while he made his way up the levels. When he arrived at the third floor, where his apartment was, he was met with a surprise. Anna was sitting next to his door, slumped against the wall. Her face had a faraway look to it. Kristoff couldn't help the dread building in his stomach. Why would Anna sit outside the door, instead of going inside? And where was Elsa?

"Anna?" Kristoff tried to gain her attention and managed. Anna blinked the glazed look away and trained her eyes to her boyfriend. "Why are you sitting in the hallway?"

"Uh." Anna frowned like she was trying to find the answer from some dark corner of her brain. "Has something happened?" Kristoff tried to prompt.

"Elsa," Anna said vaguely. Now she was looking past him into the emptiness, frown still on her face.

Kristoff waited for a moment for Anna to continue her sentence, lump forming in his throat, but she never did.

"What about Elsa?"

Then Anna seemed to snap out of her weird trance. She hid her face behind her hands and started making sounds like she was in pain. It wasn't exactly sobbing nor wailing, but something in between. "She shut the door," Anna managed to say, before hiding her face again.

"Okay," Kristoff said with a deep frown. "Why didn't you just open it? You have a key."

Anna looked like Kristoff had said something utterly stupid. She even looked slightly pissed off. Though Anna did have a quick temper, so she might've been a little angry. "She shut the door in my face!"

Kristoff was trying so hard to grasp the ends, but everything felt just so absurd. A simple "Why?" was all he could manage to ask.

"Why? Why! You know nothing, Kristoff!" Yeah, Anna was mad. Kristoff just had no idea why. "She's my sister, Kristoff! They said she's my sister. And all she did was run away like a scared little deer she is! Damn her for leaving me alone with this."

"Wait, what?" Kristoff asked, puzzled. "What do you mean that she's your sister?"

"She's Lotte. I didn't believe it either at first, but the picture, you couldn't miss it. And my mother, Elsa looks so much like my mother, and now I feel like an idiot for not having noticed it before," Anna explained. "She's my sister, who looks exactly like my mother, and I didn't see it."

"What? Elsa's not your sister. I've known her since childhood. Besides, she has never even been in England."

"I think that son-of-bitch got her when she was barely a child. I don't know how, but Kristoff, it is her, I just know it," Anna insisted.

"You are lying!" Kristoff smashed his fist angrily against the wall, a meter above Anna's head. Anna flinched from the sudden outburst, but Kristoff was too mad to care. "I brought you into my house, into my family, and this is how you thank me? You want to take my sister, my only sister? I was willing to share, I knew how you yearned for a big sister. But you can't have her to yourself. She isn't your sister; she will never be your Lotte! She's my Elsa, she's the girl I held in my arms when she was too weak to stand on her own, the girl I kept safe from the world that tried to destroy her! You can't come in now and say that she was yours all along, I won't allow it!"

Anna was surprised by Kristoff's outburst; she had never heard him yell before. With a calming tone she tried to appease him: "I'm not trying to take her away; I know how much she means to you. But don't you think that it would be better for her to have loving parents, instead of that monster she grew up with?"

"She has loving parents! You don't get to come here, and tell us how to live our lives!" Kristoff kept yelling at her, clearly upset about the accusations.

"Kristoff, I'm not trying to—," Anna tried to reason with her boyfriend, but he wouldn't let her. "Go!"

"What?" Anna asked, puzzled.

"Just go. I can't stand to look at you right now. I can't believe I was going to ask you to marry me. I should have seen this; I should have seen the kind of person you really are," Kristoff all but spat at her.

"What? Marry you? Kristoff, calm down. Let's talk about this," Anna pleaded, but Kristoff didn't want to hear it. "Go! Leave! I want to talk to **my **sister, alone!"

With that Anna finally got the message. She gingerly stood up, trying to find Kristoff's eyes, but he was looking away. Then she carefully moved past Kristoff, avoiding touching him. With a final sad glance towards her boyfriend, she disappeared down the stairway.

When Anna was gone, Kristoff let out an exhausted sigh. He let his forehead press against the wall, trying to calm himself down. Now all he had to do was face Elsa. Kristoff wasn't sure if he was ready for that at all. Ready or not, he had to go. He took a deep calming breath and opened the door with his keys.

* * *

The house was quiet. Only Sven came to greet him, and even he lacked his usual enthusiasm. Kristoff walked all the way to Elsa's door. Every creak the floor made, sounded so offending in the quiet apartment. Sven's heavy paws made a soft padding sound when he followed his owner.

Kristoff knocked on the door, but as usual, didn't get an answer. He put his hand on the handle, and was surprised to find the door unlocked. He slowly opened the door. The room was dimly lit, Elsa had closed all the curtains. The girl herself was laying on her bed, unmoving with her back turned towards the door. Kristoff didn't have to see his sister to know what she was doing. She was hugging her stuffed animal and stroking that old family picture, like she always did when she was upset to the brink of tears.

Marshmallow was laying on top of Elsa's blanket covered hip. The cat had been hissing ever since Kristoff had pulled the handle down to open the door, but Elsa paid no heed to it. Kristoff gingerly stepped closer to the bed, not letting his gaze wander from the cat. When Marshmallow showed the signs of jumping on him, he stopped.

"Elsa," Kristoff asked, but the girl didn't make any move to show she had heard. "I know what Anna's parents said to you. They're just upset for the loss of their child. You know that you belong to our family, wholly. What they said, doesn't matter. They're not in their right minds, they didn't—"

"They are my parents."

"—meant to upset you. I'm sure—," then Elsa's words sunk into Kristoff's brain "what?"

Elsa turned around, laying on her back, and looked towards Kristoff with an empty gaze. "They're my real parents."

Kristoff was confused. "How can you be so sure? Because of some old picture they showed you? Elsa, all the children look kinda similar, it doesn't mean anything. You don't have to believe—"

"Lavenders."

"What?"

"She smelled like lavenders. Iduna. She was so close I could smell the lavenders," Elsa explained with her faraway tone.

"Are you fucking serious? You are throwing your whole life into trash because some lady that claims to be your mother smells like lavender?" Kristoff could feel his earlier anger starting to rise again. "I despise them for making you so confused, but nothing they said is true. Elsa, you must know that."

Elsa sat up and looked straight into Kristoff's soul. "Do I know that? Why is it so hard for you to see that maybe everything isn't as it seems? I mean, doesn't it make way more sense this way? Who can do anything like Mr. Weselton did to their own daughter? Isn't that what they always whispered behind my back? Wouldn't it make more sense, if he wasn't my father after all, if he didn't do those things to his daughter?"

"Oh, so this is about that?" Kristoff huffed with a tone so offended that it made Elsa frown in confusion. "What?"

"My dad did the very best to always be there for you, take care of you, but that was never, ever enough for you, was it? Now there's some stranger at your door, claiming to be your father, and you couldn't be more eager to jump on that opportunity."

"You don't get to call him _your_ father now. He was mine just as much as he was yours," Elsa snapped. She was sick and tired of Kristoff's moral high ground. Why did it always feel like he owned their parents and just shared them with Elsa out of his good will. He was just as adopted as she was, therefore just as tied to them as she was. How come she was still the odd one out?

"Hardly seemed like it. You couldn't even look him in the eyes. Not even once while he was still alive! He never asked for more, but even that was too much for you to handle," Kristoff spat out at her.

"Stop it, that's not fair," Elsa chimed in, weakly.

Kristoff didn't care about his sister's protests. "Nothing in this is fair. I mean, were you ever even sad about his death? I didn't see you there, crying with the rest of us. You stayed in your room throughout the funeral, alone. Were you too afraid we would see what you really felt? Were you actually just glad that there was one less scary man in the world?"

"Fuck you!" That came out with so much force that Kristoff was stunned quiet. "Of course I was sad! You don't get to tell me I was glad our father died! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Oh wait, cause I can tell you what's wrong with you. You're just a scared little boy, who's too afraid to actually live his life. You've dedicated your whole life to take care of mine, so you don't actually have to have any ambition of your own. I mean, you fell in love with the first girl who didn't call you out on that. Coincidence? I don't think so. Is that why you _love _Anna _so, _because she accepts you hiding from your own life behind my back?"

"Don't bring Anna into this, she has nothing to do with it!" Kristoff yelled. "And look who's talking. You can barely stand on your own against life's hardships, not without someone keeping you up. That job has fallen on me, ever since I rescued you from the streets like a stray kitten."

"How dare you! I never asked you to help me, ever! I'm not some kind of project for you to fix. And even if I was, what a shitty job you did. Gosh, I almost died in that attic when you didn't understand I needed some actual help. Let alone that time in the bar, where you were supposed to watch after me. I almost both got molested and died of alcohol poisoning. What a great guardian you are." Elsa knew those were sore points for Kristoff, that's why she never brought them into conversations. She didn't even blame Kristoff for them, she just couldn't seem to stop them from escaping from her mouth. She wanted to hit where it hurt, like he had hurt her with his words.

"Woah, okay! Maybe I should have never helped you at all. Would have saved us all so much trouble if I let you where you were. You were doing so well on your own. You would have liked that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would have! I would have been so much better off without some man-child in my life, dictating my every step. I can't even breathe without you there telling me how to do it!"

"You know what? I hope they are your actual family! Then we can finally get rid of the whining pest in our corner. Go to live with them, and see how much better it is with your **real **family." Kristoff's words were full of venom. He was set to kill.

"I wish that too! I'm so sick and tired of you. Get off your high horse already, helping me didn't make you some kind of Jesus you seem to think yourself as."

"Fuck you Elsa, maybe I shouldn't have helped you at all. Maybe I should have just let you die out in the cold."

"Yeah, maybe you should have. At least then I wouldn't have to listen to you constantly playing the martyr."

"You know what? I don't even care anymore," Kristoff exclaimed and threw his arms into the air. "I Just can't stand looking at your ungrateful face a moment longer. Gosh, I hope you choke on that pride of yours someday. I'm going to my friend's now." And with that Kristoff turned around and started leaving the apartment.

"Yeah, good, leave! I don't want to see you ever again!" Elsa yelled after him with frustration, walking after him to the living room.

After the door closed behind Kristoff, Elsa picked up the closest object, which happened to be a couch cushion, and threw it as far as she could towards the direction Kristoff had been in a moment ago. She let out an angry shriek, but it didn't release the build up anger. She threw pillow after pillow until there were none left. She had to find something else to break her frustration with.

* * *

**A/N** Oh yes, I'm still alive, barely. This chapter was a struggle for me to finish because of my utter lack of motivation. Special thanks to my pal shealwaysdies, who let me out of my misery, and edited the whole thing for my lazy ass. Love ya! Please, go show some love to her amazing fics too, I personally adore her writings.

For all of you, who hanged on there during my absence, I truly appreciate you all. I think you have guessed this "plot twist" already. What can I say, I love foreshadowing. But I hope there's still some elements you were not expecting to read. And even if everything laid out just like you thought it would, I hope you still enjoyed the chapter. Let me know your thoughts, ideas, or the weather of your country, in the comment section, and we'll see after forever again. Have a great one!


	28. Chapter 28

The world felt foggy and it was spinning like a rollercoaster. Elsa tried to make sense of the blurred lines, but the harder she squinted, the more ill she felt. The pain in her abdomen and back were mind-numbing and vomiting stomach acid on the floor definitely didn't help her feel better.

Elsa was shivering and shaking from the cold, yet her skin was itching and burning from a red flaming rash. It was almost impossible to make sense of the wavering world around her. Her throat was burning from lack of drinking and she couldn't help but wonder how long she had laid there, in the living room of their apartment. Or was it hers now?

There were no questions, Elsa knew that this was it, if she didn't get help soon. Frantically she started looking for her phone, she wasn't ready to go yet. The black spots covering more than half of her vision made it almost impossible for her to find what she needed. Desperation was bringing tears to her eyes while her hands roamed the room. She could almost hear her time ticking, and her panic was shallowing her breath. She didn't even care about touching the vomit on the floor, she just needed that phone.

When Elsa's hand finally hit a corner of the electronic, she collapsed to the ground out of relief. It was short-lived though. She soon noticed the shattered glass and dark screen. Then she remembered throwing that poor object with full force against a wall in her anger fueled raging. The phone was useless. Elsa couldn't help the sobs from wrecking through her lithe body.

After momentarily losing herself to hopelessness, Elsa collected herself and rose with shaking legs from the floor. The dizzy spell hit her immediately, and she had to put all her energy into avoiding falling back to the ground. She knew that if she didn't get up now and get help, she wouldn't ever get a chance to get up, ever again. Elsa just had to push through her pain, dizziness and acid forming in her throat.

With unsure steps, she started making progress towards the door. Elsa knew she had to get out of the apartment. No one would come to save her from there, not even Kristoff this time around. When she finally reached the door, Elsa wasn't sure she could keep going. Her sweaty forehead was heavily leaning against the door while her eyes were trying to make any sense of the world. The room was turning and spinning, making her feel even more ill than she had previously. But she just had to keep going.

The cold floor of the hallway surprised her bare feet. She didn't remember taking her socks off and it made her wonder how she otherwise looked. Did she even have any clothes on? That thought made her hand move the fastest it ever had to test the fabrics on her skin. Elsa couldn't trust her eyes, but if both her eyes and her hand told that she was clothed, she must have been.

Without noticing, Elsa had moved almost all the way to the lower floor of the building and neared the door she needed to reach. Soon she wouldn't have to fight against that feverish nightmare anymore. The blood was humming loudly in her ears, only making space for the noise of her shallow breathing. Elsa was just so tired and keeping hold of her consciousness got harder and harder with each step.

Then it was over, Elsa reached the door she was hoping to. She slammed the meat of her palms against the wood trying for some balance to keep herself up. It wasn't enough, and soon her worn down legs buckled underneath her, forcing her painfully onto her knees. Tears of frustration pushing their way to her cheeks, she put all her energy into her arm. With that Elsa managed to give the door three knocks that echoed a hollow tune in her head.

* * *

Anna opened the door with the phone in her hand, ready to call help in case someone were to attack her. She had been confused when she had woken up, the knocking on her door far too early in the morning. She had gone through many possible scenarios in her head, but nothing could have prepared her for the sight she witnessed.

On the other side of the door, Elsa was on her knees, palms pressed heavily on the dirty floor. At the crack of the door, she raised her weary head and let out a troubled sigh. Anna was just gaping at the poor girl. She had never seen Elsa look like that; she had never seen anyone look like that.

Elsa's hair was dirty and unkempt, even slightly matted. Elsa was always pale, but now her skin had a sickly, greyish color. She was shivering and shaking like a junkie needing her next fix. Her already skinny figure had thinned even more, hollowing her cheeks and popping out her delicate bones. Lips dry and cracked like the Sahara desert. Her arms were covered in a red, angry looking rash that reached all the way from the back of her palms to the top of her jawbone, near to ear. But the worst was her pale blue eyes looking so desperate and scared, the way Anna had never seen before.

"Jesus Christ! What happened Elsa?" Anna almost screeched when she finally seemed to find her voice again.

"Anna... Please... Help," Elsa managed to gasp out from her dry and sore throat. She couldn't hold herself up anymore and her arms buckled from underneath her, sending her crashing down to the hard floor of the hallway.

Anna immediately dropped to her knees. She held Elsa's head to her lap and started frantically trying to dial 112 with her shaking fingers. "Please Elsa, hold on," she pleaded while waiting for someone to answer.

After what felt like forever, someone answered her call. Anna didn't wait for the operator to finish her sentence before rushing to her own request. "Please, send an ambulance. Elsa's very sick. I don't know what's wrong with her, but her forehead is burning up. She has this rash all over her. Please, it looks really bad."

While Anna was talking with the dispatcher, telling her address and answering questions, Elsa reached her hand slowly towards Anna's empty one. She got Anna's attention by weakly squeezing it. The talking on the other end of her phone faded to the background as Anna focused on Elsa with all she had. There were teardrops on her scared eyes.

With a quivering and breaking voice, Elsa whispered: "Anna, I'm not ready to go. I don't want to die. Not before I've learned to live." Then she swallowed painfully, jaw wobbling while trying to hold in her cries.

"Oh Elsa, you are not going to die! I promise. I won't let you," Anna assured, her own voice breaking now. It broke her heart to see Elsa like that. It truly hurt.

Elsa smiled faintly, just a little quiver on the sides of her mouth, but it was there. Then she closed her eyes. One moment passed, then another. "Elsa?" A third and fourth, and nothing happened. "Elsa! Please, wake up!" Anna pleaded and shook Elsa, willing her to open her eyes.

Soon Elsa's head twitched and Anna stopped shaking in hopes that she managed to wake her up. But Elsa didn't wake up, her limbs and head just started jerking more and more. While Anna was confused and trying to figure out what was happening, Elsa's twitching changed to a full-blown seizure.

"No, no, no, no, no, Elsa stop! Stop! Please!" Anna begged frantically while trying to figure out what to do. Her own brain was quickly shutting down in her panic when she remembered her phone. "Please! Come fast! She's having a seizure. Please, she's—she's my sister."

The operator was trying to keep her calm by asking questions Anna could barely understand. She also gave her instructions like: "Don't try to restrain her", even though it was all her body was screaming at Anna to do. She wanted to hold Elsa down, force her to stay still.

After the longest two and a half minutes of her life, Anna heard the sirens howling outside the apartment complex. A strange wave of calmness went through her, like a warm comber of cyan blue sea water on a hot beach in Thailand. She could hear the paramedics getting closer and closer. It was almost like out of body experience, she was a mere outsider of this story now, just watching.

"Everything is going to be fine," Anna said with a calm tone, brushing some hairs off of Elsa's jerking head. "You're going to be fine."

* * *

Anna's calmness didn't last for long. In the hospital they wheeled Elsa away and left Anna alone, the gnawing panic came back. What was she supposed to do now? Anna just awkwardly stood there, in the middle of the hospital lobby, exactly where they had left her. She felt like there was nowhere to go.

Then the realization hit her straight to her face. Kristoff had to know. Her sister laid on a hospital bed, quite possibly spending her last moments—no, Anna didn't want to think that possibility. _Elsa would be fine. _But Kristoff needed to know, Kristoff always knew how to take care of Elsa. Maybe it was for the best Elsa grew up with Kristoff as her brother, and not with Anna as her sister.

Anna dialed her boyfriend's number—or was he an ex now? Anna didn't know, and it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the voice on the phone, telling her how she couldn't reach the person she was trying to. Of course, she should have remembered Kristoff hadn't answered her since their fight. What else was new?

She almost threw her phone against the wall in frustration. But forced herself to reclaim her cool. She had no time for useless anger fits. Anna needed to come up with a new plan. She wanted to call her parents, ask for them to think for her, but it felt wrong to tell them about the situation before

Kristoff's family. She would have called Bulda, but didn't have her number. She could contact Olaf, but it was too early.

Anna sat down. She was almost on the brink of giving up. Then she got an idea, it was a little farfetched, but worth a try. She opened Facebook and started scrolling down Kristoff's friends. Luckily for her, the list was far from long. She skipped all the people who looked too young or too old. That limited her list to twelve people. Three of the first ones were most likely his friends from comprehensive school, as two of them lived in Trømso, and the third one still in Trolldal. She ignored them; they were too far away.

Fourth one seemed promising though. Ryder Nattura. He had Trolldal listed as hometown and his current home in Størdal. After a quick glance at a map, she was sure this was her guy. Anna could even remember Kristoff mentioning Ryder more than once, she just had never met him. Kristoff didn't seem to spend a lot of time with his friends.

With fingers crossed, she sent him a text that read just: _Hey. _She waited, holding her breath for some time, but nothing happened. She glanced at the clock on the wall, even though she had one on her phone too. It was half-past four in the morning. Anna realized she was an idiot, there was no way anyone would be up at this ungodly hour.

She was losing all her hope and starting to feel the tears burning with desperation to well up in her eyes when a message popped up on Facebook messenger.

_Umm, Hey? _

It was Ryder! By some miracle, the 21-year-old was already awake at this hour. Anna almost couldn't contain her excitement. She already felt like she had won, even though she had no idea if Ryder even knew anything about Kristoff, or could help.

_You know Kristoff, right? _

_Who's asking? _

_I'm Kristoff's girlfriend, I really need to get a hold of him. _

_Why's that?_

_It's about his sister, Elsa. _

_Is Elsa alright? _

_No. I really need to talk to Kristoff. Can you help? _

_Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Of course, Kristoff's at my flat. I'm going to work, can't leave those cows without care, so can't really turn around. I can try to call him, but I doubt he'll answer. _

_Can you tell me your address? I'll get him. _

_Uh, sure. Do you have a car? _

_No, but I'll figure something out. _

Ryder gave his address and Anna started frantically trying to figure out how to get to the place that was an hour away, without a car.

* * *

Luckily Anna had many amazing friends ready to help her. Anna didn't know how she had been blessed enough to have found someone to drive her at 5 am, to another city hour away, and fetch her boyfriend, who couldn't even answer the phone. Anna was happy it was Katrina who drove her, Katrina didn't ask too many questions.

She was one of the calmer spirited friends Anna had. Katrina actually reminded her a little of Elsa, calm and collected, and the most of all, empathetic. Katrina's eyes were hazel and her silver hair was out of a tube, you could even see some of the roots showing now. Her face was slim, whereas Elsa's was heart-shaped and Katrina was mostly interested in shopping and clubbing and boys. But despite all of this, she reminded her of Elsa and that made it a little hard for Anna to breathe right now, even though it was usually something she loved about her friend.

"We're here," Katrina said when she parked the car.

That pulled Anna out of her thoughts. She glanced at the navigator, which had finished its route and was now just a map with a car on it. Anna looked around the parking lot. It was surrounded by apartment buildings consisting of only three levels. They were more wide than high, unlike the building she lived in.

The place was clearly on the cheaper side of the town. She could see some teens and adults waiting for a bus a little farther away and a sporadic car once in a while, but otherwise, the place was quiet. There were no drunks laying on the cold asphalt with a bottle wiper fluid, or drug dealers doing their business in the middle of the street. Nothing she had learned to expect as a child. It was just a regular street that was a little quieter than the place she lived with buildings that were a little uglier.

Anna decided it was secure for her to leave the safety of the car. Katrina stayed in the car, waiting. Anna hesitantly moved towards the building she thought was the one she was looking for. At the side, she noted Kristoff's car. That built up the much-needed confidence, she wasn't so unsure anymore.

She put in the code Ryder had given her to open the front door. It worked. Then she walked inside the complex and up the stairs until she was in front of the door that read the right last name and number. She knocked and waited, but nothing happened. Anna knocked again, but harder. Still nothing. Louder. Nothing. Louder. Nothing. Louder.

Anna was pounding the door with all the force she could muster when it finally opened. "What?" the male opening the door snapped.

It was Kristoff, but he hardly looked like himself. Kristoff's beard had grown and his hair was messy, though it always was. His eyes were bloodshot and he had disgusting alcohol breath. Anna hadn't ever even seen Kristoff drink before. Overall, he looked annoyed and tired, and not at all pleased to see Anna.

"May I come in?" Anna tried a polite way.

"No." Kristoff on the other hand didn't seem to have a problem being rude.

"Fine. I don't need to come in, I can say what I have to say right here."

"I don't care what you have to say," Kristoff grunted.

"It's about Elsa."

"What don't you understand? I don't care. You can keep her. That's what you both want, isn't it?" Kristoff spat it out like venom.

"Elsa isn't a fucking animal for me to keep. She's a person, and very important to me, and I would hope for you too," Anna spat back. She was getting fed up with Kristoff's behavior. It had been a hard enough morning not to deal with this too.

"Yeah, whatever. She's not my problem anymore," Kristoff retorted with such disinterest.

"What? Now you don't care anymore, huh?" Anna accused, her tone almost hysterical. "Just because she might biologically be my sister, you don't care if she dies now?"

All arguments died on Kristoff's tongue and he asked with a scared tone instead: "Dies?"

"Yes! Elsa is lying alone on a hospital bed, and we're here just arguing whose sister she is like it's something that matters now!" Anna all but shouted. Tears were now streaming down to her cheeks.

"Oh god, is she okay?"

"What do you think?" Anna snapped. But then she saw Kristoff's face and quickly apologized: "I'm sorry, it's just been such a rough day. Let's just go, okay?"

"Uhh, Anna, I can't drive. I've—umm, yeah," Kristoff stammered and rubbed his neck, clearly uncomfortable.

"I have a ride. Get what you need and let's go," Anna said with a no-nonsense tone.

"Yeah, okay," Kristoff said and turned to go back to the house. Then he stopped and turned back to look at Anna: "Anna."

"What?"

"Thank you. For everything," Kristoff said with a tone so earnest, Anna remembered in a second all the reasons she fell in love with him in the first place. He was so pure of heart. She had never met anyone quite like him. Though, not all was forgotten and forgiven. She was mad how he had treated her and how he had refused to even answer phone calls when he was needed the most. No, they would have fights about that, but later. Now was not the time. Elsa needed them, and she didn't need them fighting. Besides, Anna was just so tired.

"Of course." And then Kristoff nodded and went to gather his belongings.

* * *

**A/N **This chapter was made possible by Shealwaysdies. No, but seriously, would've probably never finish this, if she wasn't there to edit it. She just finished her own story: Equal Parts of a Whole, really good story.

Then the other part of people who I couldn't not do this without: my readers, especially all of you who take your time to write a comment, not matter how long or short. They all help.

TitaniaErin: Thank you for your comment, hope you are still here to read this chapter too!

Rice Field: This chapter doesn't really explain too much about Lotte, but the next chapter should. Haven't really fleshed out the chapter fully, but I think there should be about that.

Guest: Thank you and hope you have waited for this one too!

Elsaissassy: Did this chapter meet up your expectations at all? I think I'm gonna finish this fic. Not too much left anymore.

Yeeiiih: I'm happy to hear that my motivation doesn't show to you. I hope the wait wasn't too long for you!

Anonymous: Thank you. I really aim for the angst that is killing people. Probably should change the genre, since this story is way angstier than it was supposed to be.


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